Princess Problems Ain't No Joke

The sun has long since started to dip by the time Matilda has finally gathered her thoughts enough to pick the conversation back up. You're leading her horse into the stable of the coaching inn that you pulled into when she abruptly speaks out. "I guess what bothers me the most is that I couldn't have done any of this by myself."

Alright, here we go. "What do you mean? You didn't want help?"

"No, I don't mean it like that, I mean I literally couldn't have. Even if I thought I could have found a treatment, or a whatever, they'd have stopped me if I wanted to find it myself."

"They meaning who, your reagent?"

Matilda makes a noise at that as she follows you into the inn. "The whole court would have but yes, Haverly would have had something to say about it. A lot of somethings. Half of them about what my parents would have thought, and the other half about how rambunctious young princesses give their reagents heart attacks."

"He might have a point on that last bit. Lord Prandish isn't exactly in the best shape."

"Globular is a perfectly fine shape."

You let out a theatrical gasp at that as you heft Matilda's luggage over your shoulder. "That has to be the single meanest thing I have ever heard you say."

The mixture of embarrassment and impish pride on the princess's face as she follows you up the stairs is not a sight you'll soon forget. "Well I'm sorry, but all of my life people have been making my decisions for me, and I hate it."

"They must think that it's--"

Matilda cuts you off as she throws the door to your room open. "I swear that if you are about to say 'It's All for My Protection', I'll **** you."

You definitely were. "I totally wasn't."

The princess blows a raspberry at that, a habit she absolutely picked up from Roan, as she flounces angrily into the room's armchair. She really can flounce with the best of them, when she has a mind to. "That is the worst! It's not enough that I have no say in my own life, but I'm supposed to be so grateful for having every choice taken out of my hands. Do you have people who make every decisions about what you wear, and what you eat, and who you meet?"

You settle down on the bed, which groans angrily but holds. Thank God for the talented carpenters that apparently fill this world. "I mean, I did, but then I stopped being ten."

"Being a princess is like being ten forever."

You don't need any extra convincing that, while being a prince is sweet as hell, being a princess is something more of a mixed bag. Still, that does segue into something that you'd been wondering about. "How did you convince them to let you come with us, anyway?"

Matilda rolls her eyes. "I told them you were bringing me to meet your mother. Haverly didn't like it, but I knew he didn't have much choice. Meeting potential mother-in-laws is practically the only unassailable right left to princesses. It didn't hurt that you're by far my wealthiest suitor."

Uh, are you? You really need to figure out what your whole deal is. For all you know you've got a big vault full of rubies somewhere that you haven't swam in once. "So that's why I was invited to your party, then?"

The princess shrugs dramatically, her eyebrows raised. "How should I know? I didn't chose any of the invitations. I certainly didn't chose any of my suitors. Um, no offense."

"None taken. Well who would you have picked?"

"Huh?"

You lean forward, the bed creaking in protest. "Oh come on Matilda; you may not have had any official say but you must have had a crush on someone, surely!"

That familiar flush is starting to work its way up the princess's neck again. "Oh! Oh, um...well...I always thought the captain of the guard was very handsome."

Captain of the Guard, huh? You're pretty sure you remember him, tall, nice smile, vaguely hawkish features. "Did you want him to be in the running?"

Matilda purses her lips, but you can tell she's considering it. "...no, not really. I mean, he's a good man and he is handsome, but, um..."

"What?"

"...he's an idiot."

Matilda throws a pillow at you when you burst out laughing, but can't help herself from grinning as well. "Well he is! He's so dull! I tried to talk to him so many times, but the only subjects the man can hold a conversation on are walls and how to patrol walls!"

"That's a shame, because I really wanted to get some Wall Talk in tonight."

You duck under the second pillow, but don't miss Matilda's peals of laughter. Is this really the same girl you met a few weeks ago who sat quietly frowning at a cup of milk during her own birthday party? You certainly don't miss the way she's suddenly biting her lower lip, leaning forward in her seat. "Hey, um, let me see your penis."

Wow, maybe this isn't the same girl. You raise your eyebrows. "Pardon?"

"You heard me!"

"This has to be the weirdest segue ever."

Matilda pops up from her chair and plops herself down beside you on the bed, glaring up at you in mock reproach. "Will you just pull it out already?"

Well, you've never been one to deny a request from a princess. Besides, with the way your mammoth groin has begun to throb, if you don't do like Matilda says, your dick will probably just take the initiative to explode out of your pants of its own accord. So you shrug in a show of acquiescence and begin to undo the clasp of your overfilled pants.

A moment later your cock is flopped enormously over your thigh, Matilda letting out a little hiss as she scoots closer, pressing her slim body up against you. Fuck, she's warm. The princess's little tongue flicks out for a moment before she turns her chocolate eyes up at you. "It really is stupidly big, isn't it?"

"Without a doubt."

"Can I, um, touch it?"

You nod, though she probably could have taken the way your cock swelled up another few inches to point indolently at her as an answer as well. Matilda takes on a focused look as she bashfully reaches out to try and wrap her fingers around your absurd girth. She blushes even further when she realizes she's going to need both hands.

"Is this, um, is this how I do it?"

Even if the way she hesitantly runs her warm fingers up and down your deeply pleased manhood wasn't doing it for you, which it absolutely is, her guileless eyes looking up at you with an almost puppy-like desire for approval absolutely does. She lets out an eep when your shaft surges in her grasp to its full, astonishing size. Matilda's eyes glaze over a little as she gazes down at your tumescence, her thighs beginning to slowly rub together.

"Oh, wow....how long are you, exactly?"

"I don't know. Over a foot."

"O-oh..."

She bites her lip again as you slip your arm around her back, your hand coming to rest on her hip. She flicks her eyes up at you again, nervous but smiling. Something tells you not to go any further than that, though. She redoubles her efforts on your manhood, and before long you're grunting in pleasure as Matilda giggles in delight, her hands racing up and down your throbbing shaft. You'd be happy to spend the rest of the evening like this, but there's no denying the tightening in your balls.

"Matilda, I'm gonna--"

The princess yelps at that, jumping up from the bed as she tries to figure out what to do with your soon-to-explode dick. She can't make up her mind in time to beat the clock, however, and can only sink back down to the bed with a gasp as you grit your teeth and unload in a giant, glorious arc straight into the air. It's only lucky she had the presence of mind to tilt your volcanic orgasm at a slight angle, allowing you to send rope after rope of cum splattering down to the floor instead of showering the two of you with it. You groan and collapse back into the bed, a rather embarrassed but quite pleased Matilda carefully settling down to rest her head against your shoulder.

"That was sort of fun, actually."

You try to catch your breath. "Glad we both enjoyed ourselves."

Matilda hums pleasedly as the two of you quietly lie together for a moment.

"....though we should probably leave early."

"Yes."

"Before, um, they find the mess."

"Yes, exactly."

This is going to be an interesting trip.