Mom Is Confused, Sceptical, And Frightened.

Mom sits on the couch, puts her head in her hands, and just rocks back and forth for a while. You go over to her and put pat her on the back but she flinches and you back off for a bit. Finally the shaking and incomprehensible muttering stops...

"Mom?" you query: and she looks at you, face streaked with tears.

"James, my poor confused boy, do you have any idea how you are going to get them through this?"

"Huh?" You ask intelligently.

"James, I don't know what is going on here but I'm not as blind as Aunt Janet, those aren't fursuits, those two women are actually half-animal-people of some sort, and I saw the way they were looking at you: it's just the same way I used to look at your father before you were born," your mother explains.

"Gah, mom! T.M.I!" You exclaim, but your mom rolls her eyes.

"James, I know you're a virgin but I didn't think you faked your report cards!" She groans in annoyance.

"Huh?"

"I went to more than 50 parent-teacher-association meetings and argued with preachers, other parents, and our congressman till I was blue in the face to keep full sex-ed part of your curriculum, which you passed: you know how you and your siblings were conceived!" Your mother snarks, and you blush.

"Y-yes, but i-it's one thing to know and a-another to hear you talk about it!" You stammer in embarrassment.

"Oh for Pete's sake James, if the idea of sexual intimacy freaks you out that much no wonder you're a virgin! Do you know when your father and I last had sex?" Your mother asks.

"No-and-I-don't-want-to!" You blurt out in horror.

"Too bad, it's important! You know those 'dates' we go out for every Wednesday?" Your mother says.