Push Forward

You give yourself a shake and find your center before pushing off the wall and hurrying to catch up with Janine. You can rest when you've learned more, cosmic events were transpiring and you wouldn't be the reason for the Rose's fall just because you needed a nap.

Much like your home, the Sea Haven Abbey harbored a garden within its walls. Smaller, and less lush to be sure, but you marveled at the thin canopy of strange thin-leaved trees. Janine motioned you to a bench tucked away between the tree trunks, far enough from any window or door to be very difficult to eavesdrop on. You approved. The tall blonde sat primly, smoothing her dress and taking a deep breath, "It all started about a year and a half ago..."

There was a terrible storm. There was something almost otherworldly about it, like it was driven by some higher power, not unlike the one you say carried you here. It was so fierce... we could hear the waves crashing from the abbey windows, some of our shutters were ripped off their hinges, and we had to brace the outer doors. The gatekeeper barely heard the knock at the door but opened it to find a girl, no older than you or I, half drowned and beaten to within an inch of her life by the elements. We took her in, gave her shelter even as the storm raged on for another two days.

I myself was charged with tending to her needs while the nurse slept. She was so frightened. She had an accent I could barely make sense of but she was adamant I not leave her side, convinced someone or something would kill her if I left. She calmed down when the storm finally faded and in miraculously little time she was up and about, quite chipper and pleased to explore the abbey. Her name was Selena and she was fascinated by the Burning Rose, always asking questions, getting into debates with the other sisters.

Once it was determined she was yet pure, the natural progression was that she become a sister. She was overjoyed, we had a bright new initiate, all seemed well. But she was... adventurous. She had many friends in the abbey and-Well, rumors began to spread. I myself was one of her closest friends, as you might imagine considering my part in her recovery, but Selena... wanted more. I was alone with her, just over in those flowers actually and... She has a way of drawing you in with her voice, the curves of her body, the heat in her eyes...

Sorry. My point is she can be very persuasive, hypnotic even. I admit that I had several, um, "encounters" with her over the course of a few weeks but I was concerned about how far she was taking it and I drew back. You know the Order's opinion of non-platonic relationships, I didn't want to put us both in a position we couldn't get out of. She didn't take it well but I was confident in my choice.

The problem is, her other "friends" didn't see it the same way. They started to shun me in little ways: not helping me with favors, sitting away from me during mealtimes, avoiding me. Over time it escalated, they started playing little pranks on me, bumping into me in the halls, telling me I'd made the wrong choice. I didn't know what to think so when it became obvious it wasn't going to stop I brought the issue to War Mother Avina. She assured me I had done nothing wrong and said she'd attend to it. Three days later it was announced the War Mother was going on a Pilgrimage to Gerlangen and that Mother Diana would be acting as her replacement till she returned.

That was nearly two months ago and there's been no word from Gerlangen or the War Mother. And things just keep getting worse here. The laywarriors are never around and the paladins went with the War Mother to Gerlangen. The sisters, they all have that far off stare and I'm afraid who I can talk to because I don't know who Selena's "friends" are anymore.

Janine smoothed her dress again as she finished her story, you were beginning to suspect it was a nervous tick. Her eyes were glassy but she'd retained her composure even as her voice shook in the later stages of her story. You had listened intently, exhaustion dulling some of the stronger emotions her story elicited. How could this have happened? An entire abbey seemingly subsumed by one girl? It was laughable. So much so that you drew back a little. How much did you know about Janine, really? She could be lying... or at the very least naive to what was really going on. How does a War Mother go missing for two months without anybody questioning it? You'd have set out on your own to find her if the same had happened in your abbey. Then again you have Ivona. Had Ivona.

"Where is Selena now?" You say, clearing the lump in your throat. Janine shakes her head despondently, "I've tried confronting her but she's never alone. She's always surrounded by her posse of my former friends. They've gone from being infatuated to being obsessed with her and she doesn't mind in the slightest." Her words are bitter but her tone is tired, "I want to hate her but... for some reason I just can't. She was my friend too. At least, so I thought." She slumps from her perfect posture, head in her hands.

"And what of the Burning Rose? Have you prayed for guidance?" She gives you a queer look, "The Burning Rose doesn't talk to sisters of my station, the most contact I have with the divine is during my daily prayers." You feel a little smug, knowing you'd been closer to your goddess in one hour of the last two days than most of your sisters in a lifetime, but you temper the emotion. 'Pride is the purview of demons and parents and does not suit sisters.' You smiled inwardly at the old saying. It was a favorite of War Mother Gisella's, repeated ad nauseum to overconfident students. Turning back to the conversation you try to rephrase your question, "I mean, have you had any impressions or... feelings during your prayers? It can be very faint sometimes but the Burning Rose is with every sister."

Janine makes a scoffing noise, clearly her circumstances have damaged her faith, "The only thing I feel during prayer is anger at my own impotence." That's exactly what I'm afraid of. You think quietly, weary of offending your goddess but you have a feeling impotence is just as frustrating when you're a deity. Is it really possible that this one dysfunctional abbey could affect the goddess? Not likely. Maybe it wasn't a cause... but it could be an effect of something greater. Some kind of demon incursion into the divine realms? A celestial war? Some sort of natural shift in power? Maybe you can trust Janine and maybe not, the only thing that's for certain at the moment is your own impending loss of consciousness.

It's becoming apparent that you're both too exhausted with life to make this conversation productive and the sun has fallen below the horizon in the time it took Janine to relate her story. Sighing, you stand, "We can make a plan after we eat and sleep, whether that's going to Gerlangen to find the War Mother or **** a sister for interrogation." She looks a little startled at the prospect, what did she think was going to happen? But nods in agreement. Collecting yourselves, you head off to dinner as the meal bell sounds.

The food is delicious, though you hardly stop to taste it. You don't think you've ever been this hungry. You immediately reached for a bowl of meatballs but Janine caught your arm, whispering in your ear, "Don't eat the meat. Call it a hunch." You look at her incredulously but she doesn't explain further. Looking around the room, you see the same distracted stare on most of the sisters present. Some are practically drooling, enraptured by some unseen ****, while others look almost normal save for a distant look in their eye. Even the senior sisters, those experienced enough to potentially be Mothers, had an odd look in their eye. The matronly woman to your left kept eyeing you up when she thought you weren't looking and seemed to lean over you an awful lot, pressing her sizable chest into your shoulder each time. When it became too irritating to ignore you started a conversation with her: her name was Arietta and she was the abbeys head cook. She also loved vegetables: she spent most of your side of the conversation sucking suggestively on a carrot.

You are incredibly relieved when Janine distracts you by discreetly pointing out Selena amidst a crowd of admirers. She was quite beautiful, her features harboring a sensuality regardless of her expression. Your eyes narrow as the girls face is replaced with the features of the succubus you encountered in the bath. Even if she was somehow innocent in all this, you knew her type. The eyes of her posse follow her every move with rapt attention. The charade of normalcy makes the whole affair all the more unsettling,

After dinner Janine leads you back to your bed in the infirmary. You talk for a few minutes, little things about life in the abbey, what plans you have for the far future, meaningless conversation to familiarize yourselves with each other. You told her about your aspirations to become a paladin and she talked about her training as a nurse. Sitting on your bed, you can almost pretend you're just making a new friend and that the world as you knew it wasn't falling apart at the foundations. Janine is pleasant, fun even, but the moment your head touches the pillow you are dead to the world.