Personal log of Ensign Kari Westland

Personal Log: Ensign Kari Westland

It's been a couple of days since Linda gave me her counter offer for her holo-persona. I'm still trying to get over losing the best in the first place. I had designed my double to be flawless and in the end it was my own flawed memory that failed me. I'd even been so **** to get what I wanted, I basically threw myself at Linda to get it. I'll admit that it's a bit shameful, looking back. I'd never felt so helpless after that second failure. She beat me at my own game and then rejected my offer of body and pleasure. It was humiliating!

What's even more humiliating to admit is that... well... when I got back to my quarters I immediately turned on the shower holo-tape that Jenny gave me of Linda... and masturbated to it. Not just a subtle 'fingers in the pants' sort of thing... it was a **** and impassioned go of it. Clothes thrown about, the big toys out and me going at myself like I was feasting after a month castaway on a deserted island! God that was relieving though. I was tempted to activate the Holo- Jenny program for some more interactive stress relief, but it would only remind me of my failure with Trask. I decided that I would abstain from any more holo-hookups until I got the complete set.

Well, it's days later and I still haven't cooled off on the Linda-holo. In fact, I'm more determined than ever to get what I want. Linda wants a man in exchange for her holo, not a program either; a living breathing male. More specifically, she wants a working male genital for her fornicate with. The options, suffice it to say, are limited. The one male on board is part Vulcan. Not exactly the most virile of choices in the crew's complement to be honest. I've seen him on occasion, so kept together, cold and distant. It would be a scene to see him aroused in any sort of the manner, not to mention sexually... and that is just ONE of the problems with getting Ensign Davis to help. I would either have to convince to coerce him into acting on my behalf.

I tried to make small talk with him the other day at the cafeteria. Honestly, I think he's intentionally making dry, boring conversation to keep his libido in check. I tried to flirt with him, like I used to on campus with the fly boys. They would fall for the hair flip/head tilt combo every time. I'd see it in their eyes. It was as if they were knocked in the head and dropped a few brain cells. Skylar? Nothing! He just went on about particle trace elements and other work related small talk. I guess he's used to the girls hitting on him, but still! This is doing a wallop to my self esteem...

With Davis being a dead end, I might need to look at other options... if there are other options... with any luck we'll pass by a civilization with males in it, but I wouldn't count on it. According to Davis, we're projected on a dark path, no signs of warp capable life, for some time. I may have a lead in another direction though... Leena was telling me about the new alien Minya's abilities. Transformative abilities. Handy for an intergalactic brothel work, since she'd be able to fit anyone's needs. Maybe she'll be able to fit the need of one petite Starfleet ensign pilot.