Is Jim Hawkins an answer

“Colleen, wake up, you have a visitor”

Colleen groaned raised herself on her elbow and looked at her little sister through half-open eyes “Huh? Its Sunday and I want to sleep in”

“Its 11.30 and I’ve been home from Mass for ages and you have a visitor”

Colleen couldn’t understand Bridget’s rediscovered religious fervour which seemed to have started just after she returned to school at the beginning of the school year but now all she wanted was to be left alone “Look I’m tired, I don’t feel well leave me alone”

“Well what will I tell Mr Hawkins?”

“Huh who?”

“Mr Hawkins duh my English teacher he says he took you home last night”

Colleen swore and jumped out of bed “What could Jim want? Why is he here?” she thought then aloud to her sister “Tell him I’ll be right down”

“Thought that might change your mind sis” chortled Bridget as she closed the door on Colleen rapidly pulling clothes out of her closet.

About 15 minutes later Colleen now dressed in what she liked to think was one of her smartest sundresses hair combed and neatly made up ventured downstairs where she found a formally dressed Jim sitting chatting to the rest of her family. He stood up as she came into the room. “Hello Colleen. I hope you are feeling a lot better then when you came home this morning. I thought I might help by running you back to the Basement so you can pick up your car. These are for you” he handed her a bunch of flowers.

"Um why are you doing this? You don’t even like me. Um I mean it’s very nice of you and all that” .

Colleen quailed under her parents’ stern gaze and flushed red as her mother said “Would you excuse Colleen and I while we make some coffee for you Jim?” Before Jim could reply her mother had all but shoved Colleen into the kitchen and slammed the door. "Now you listen to me young lady you will be polite to guests especially when they come and see you and don’t you even try to say yes mother to me and ignore me, you are to go out again and be polite to this charming young gentleman, so much better then the boys who normally hang round you” Colleen tried to switch off but heard a lot more as she got cups ready.

By the time Colleen came out with coffee for people she was fuming and she was counting the strikes against Jim Hawkins “one my parents like him, two he knows too much, three he acts like my father oh what the hell three strikes and you’re out and so is he” but she accepted his lift to pick up her car.

After they had travelled about half the distance in silence Jim said “You didn’t want to come did you Colleen and your mother pushing you only made you more determined so you've come here out of sufferance. I don’t blame you but you seemed so distressed last night I thought I needed to see if you were all right today. I’m not hitting on you”

“Just as well too for you would get nowhere if you tried” Colleen snapped back and then thought “that’s the problem you don’t act like guys do, you think I’m some object of pity. But I’m a sexy girl. I don’t have trouble finding boyfriends. I wonder if you ever get off the Mr Nice Guy perch and act human” and then thinking back to what had happened last night and the talking to her mother had given her and also she had to admit it how rude she had been she started sobbing again. Gary had been right in sensing her underlying sadness; despite an outward facade she was often desperately unhappy and now was one of those times.

Hawkins parked his car and leaned over putting his arm round her wiping her eyes “Hush hush its alright, no one will hurt you now Colleen”

Once again she thought she was being treated as a child but just as happened last night she felt strangely comforted, how nice it was to have someone to hold you to comfort you and not expect anything in return. Her mind spun then she was aware Hawkins was talking to her.

“Would you like lunch somewhere- you really need to be a bit calmer before you drive home”

“Why are you doing this you don’t like me do you?”

“What makes you say that?” he said stroking her hair for her head was still resting on his shoulder.

“Well you never made a pass at me you flinched when I got close to look at your music last night you didn’t want me to go to your apartment".

"Colleen Colleen, you jump to conclusions. I was worried you were going to knock my glasses off when you leaned across last night and I see so poorly without them, I didn’t want you at the flat –sorry that’s what we call apartments- as I thought Davie would be asleep and do you think that everyman should make a pass at you. Isn’t that what got you so upset last night? Come on there's a cafe and I’ll buy you something”

Colleen thought again what a strange turn of events all this was. Jim took her by the arm and led her to the cafe where they ate and although he talked and listened attentively she only had half her mind on the conversation. The rest was focused on her interior life. What am I going to do? Do I want to change? Will I really find any happiness in sex or is there more?

They left the cafe Colleen snuggled up to Jim thinking he is a ”nice man” but is he anything more. “Jim”

“Yes”

“Was I wrong when I said you didn’t like me?” then she asked the same question she had asked Gary only a bit more then 24 hours ago “Do you want me? I need somebody Jim. Somebody serious and dependable. Someone I can love. Somebody who’ll love me not treat me like a quick fuck.”