You search for a dating website.

If somebody would have asked you later, why you did this, you wouldn't have known what to answer. You are happy in your marriage. Dave is a tender, caring husband. You just reached the next step in your life, having finally employed a "Happy Maid" to free you from household chores.

There is no reason why you should browser portraits of a dating website.

Maybe it was the fact that the last evenings with Dave somehow went wrong. Which doesn't make sense, because somehow, you actually shared the same fantasies. But it just feels wrong to fulfill some creepy fantasies with your husband. Yes, that's the reason. Of course. Your husband is a sweet, soft guy. That's why you love him. He's not the one you want to share dirty secrets. Fantasies are, after all, fantasies. They belong to the realm of thoughts and dreams.

And it's okay to look at other men and dream a bit.

That's what all this is about: You just want to escape reality, and dream a bit. No harm done. Nothing dangerous. You are certainly not so stupid to actually establish contact with any of those guys at the website.