They'll make it work

I clenched my fist over Amy's back.

"We'll just have to make it work."

"Huh?"

"We'll just have to make it work," I repeated, the firm resolution in my voice sounding more sure than I was feeling. "I don't know how we're going to do it. But we're not going to take this lying down, just because everyone else is telling us otherwise. You're much stronger than that, Amy."

"...Heh." Finally Amy propped herself on her bed and looked at me with her tear-stained eyes. "You think we can do it? Even when I've become such a wreck?"

"You're not a wreck, Amy. You're a woman, and a drop dead sexy woman at that," I replied. "You're figuring out how things are for you just like anyone would. Just like you helped me do it."

"You dork," she mumbled, leaning against my chest. "Why do you have to say shit like that all the time? You're going to make me feel like I deserve you less." I simply smiled, hugging her tighter as we enjoyed the solace.

"Hey... Ian? You mind if we just skipped the exercise and sex and just lay like this? Until I need to head for my shift?"

"...I'd like nothing less."

Following our cuddle session that day, things became far more somber between Amy and I. We both knew we had to acclimatize to a newer lifestyle; one that didn't involve daily rituals of pounding the bedsprings until the windows shook. We still met up for our exercise routines, but things had mellowed down - on the surface, at least. There was no denying the longing burning in our eyes. Our bodies thirsted for union, and what made matters worse that unlike the deal we made for prom, this time there was no big hurrah at the end. We were preparing for a long, dreary wait - and when that day came, we would be making that journey alone, separated by hundreds of miles.

Slowly but surely, the August days ticked away. Stephanie ended up the first to leave, and the whole group gathered for the first time in months to send her off. The girls shared hugs and tears before Stephanie was to go; Simon managed to keep a straight face until his girlfriend vanished into the crowd for departures - then he sat down and wept so openly he ended up setting the girls off again. It was a stark premonition for what was to come.

The night before Amy was to go, I stayed overnight at her place to help her pack. It was the first time we had sex there while her father was still home, but he didn't seem to care - and neither could we. Once all her affairs were settled we spent the night joined in multiple ways, our bodies curved around each other, our names whispered fervently and urgently, our tongues sharing saliva and tears.

The following day I felt like I was on full autopilot. Piers was kind enough to give us both a lift to the airport, and the others were likewise there to give Amy a similarly resounding send-off. Even then the voices in my head screamed, as my body turned into lead, completely unable to react, steeling itself for the inevitable moment of separation. Maybe at some point, either one of us would scream that this was a mistake, pushing our way through throngs of people and declare our love for each other.

Maybe... if it was all a romantic comedy.

We shared a final kiss, and felt the tears running down both our cheeks. And then I watched her pull her luggage past the barriers.

What happened after that was a mystery. Somehow I was escorted out of the airport and back home - for the next instance I felt sober, I was lying on my bed at home. The mattress had been soiled with my tears and drool, as if I had been trying to bleed myself to **** that way. It certainly felt like it.

By the time it was Talia and Rachel's turn to leave, I no longer had the strength to cry. I realized what I hadn't realized at the start of summer, and should have - we were no longer the group of friends we used to be. And worse still, there wasn't anything I could do about it.

And then came my turn. I hugged my parents, Corrine and Elizabeth, before I disappeared into a mess of people. Even then the handle in my fingers felt solid and heavy and disconnected, like I was watching someone else - or a corpse - manhandle my belongings. I'd spent the days since Amy's departure in much the same way, like my body was unable to fully grasp the true extent of recent events. Every sound faded into the ether, and my sight blurred around the edges. I was little more than a zombie lurching forward with no sense of direction.

Eventually I did manage to place myself in my seat, still not quite in control of my body. My brain was replaying memories of the past year, and there was little I could do to stop it. The day I asked Corrine to be in our movie. The Valentine's Day lingerie show. The pool party at my place. The glorious spring break. The day I confessed to Amy...

The wheels lifted off the tarmac as the plane headed skywards, like a chariot bringing souls to heaven. I remembered the summer Amy and I shared, and how we promised each other that it wouldn't simply end at that. I remembered the confused, delicate look in her eyes, trying to figure out how to love again.

I clenched my fist as tears ran down my face anew.

"We are worth it," I told myself in my head. I'd be damned if I didn't try and make it work. Maybe things weren't the same between the six of us - but I owed it to all my friends, who made me the new man I was.

To all my best friends - my bosom buddies.