The silence hung in the air like a looming storm cloud. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Even repeating the answer in my head just felt... off, somehow. Blinking a few more times, I tried to will a different vision. No such luck. If anything, it cemented the impression even further.
Eventually Stephanie realized my gaze was trailing away from hers, and harshly slammed her palm on the table. "Ian!"
The expression of her annoyance was so sharp, I actually bumped my knee under the table.
"Well?" she repeated. "Who did you see?"
Even looking at her felt all sorts of awkward. I looked down at my meal, wishing for a black hole to swallow me up that would never come.
"Was it Elizabeth?" persisted Stephanie. "Corrine?"
I buried my face in my palms. "I can't believe I'm saying this," I mumbled. "But I saw Amy standing at the doorway."
Another moment of silence, somehow more ominous than the last.
"Amy, huh? Well, you wouldn't be the first one," Stephanie joked, giving me a nudge on the shoulder with her fist. "Better go ask her before someone else does - "
"No, you don't get it! If I ask Amy to the prom, it's gonna feel like we're together. And you know how much she hates the idea."
"But you don't, right?"
"That's exactly what the problem is! And what about Elizabeth? I already told her; Amy and I aren't a couple. What's she going to think if she sees the two of us like that?"
"Ian, I think you might be thinking a little too - "
I couldn't stand it any longer. The color of the world around me seemed to drain out of my vision. Even the burger in my mouth felt like a clod of cardboard.
"I'm sorry, Stephanie. But at this point... " Closing my eyes shut, I **** myself up from my seat. "...the last thing I want to think about now is prom."
I couldn't look back at Stephanie. The idea of her looking at my retreating figure in sympathy or admonition made me feel even worse.
The rest of the day, and much of the day after that, I spent in a limbo of inexplicable numbness. The time we had and the inevitable separation weighed heavily on my mind. Was I chasing after a hopelessly foolish dream, yearning for more than the casual friendship we shared? Or was I now defined by superficial moments of skinship? Was I nothing more than someone Amy fucked more than once?
When I wasn't sleeping, it felt as though I was navigating a deep abyss with no end in sight. Nothing seemed to fill the void. Crying to myself felt pathetic. Rigging up my old Nintendo 64 felt shallow. Even the thought of jacking off to a Playboy centerfold felt revolting.
It was only when the clock struck eleven at night when I realized someone was knocking on the door. Despite myself, I got up from the sofa and opened the door, revealing Corrine and Elizabeth standing outside, looking like the pair of goddesses I'd known them to be. A weak smile was all I could manage in greeting. In understanding, Corrine hugged me close, crushing her heavenly chest against mine. "You look like a wreck," she couldn't stop herself from giggling a little.
"I know," I mumbled back. Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Elizabeth. In the moonlight she somehow seemed both angelically pure and sadly diminutive at the same time. The feeling went out of my arms, just as Corrine let go and looked at me in the eye.
"You really need to ask somebody to prom."
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