At a Feminist Rally

John found himself at one of Emma Watson’s events; a feminist rally from the looks of things. He found himself smiling as he saw Emma Watson, in a beautiful dress, walk up to the raised podium as if she were some sort of queen. As she stood in front of everyone, smiling beautifully and surveying her audience, John asserted his power.

“Good evening, everyone,” her accented voice rang out through her throng of followers. “As you all know, I’m world famous actress, Emma Watson.” She did a little twirl in front of the microphones. Much to his disgust, the crowd cheered. “Now, I’ve been fighting for women’s rights for a long time now,” she continued, drawing more cheers from the crowd. “But I’ve recently come to a realization that changes everything. Do you want to know what it is?”

More cheers.

Emma leaned in close to the microphones, as if she were about to whisper a secret to her friend.

“Men are undisputedly superior to women in every single way.”

Silence.

John smiled and Emma mirrored his eager smile on the stage.

“I’ve been wrong, my whole life, blind to the obviousness of it all. Men are clearly better than women. They’re naturally stronger, smarter and more skilled. It’s why there’s both a Best Actor and a Best Actress award; we’re not even in the same league as anyone with a penis!” Emma giggled.

Her audience gasped, clearly hoping that this was just some sick joke.

“I’d say we should go back to the kitchens and stick to cooking, but all of the best chefs are men, so we can’t even do that right!” she laughed.