Lost in thought

As much as it hurts to hear Carly's spiteful ribbing of Alex, you know you have to keep your cool. Besides, you yourself often lament -good naturedly, of course- your boyfriend's less than superb intelligence. You sigh and turn around. you don't want to defend the person Alex used to be, or yourself back when you were John. Honestly, you are ashamed of how insensitive and clueless you were back then. And it wasn't just because you were a guy. You were a prick, and you are well aware of that fact. Now, you couldn't imagine cheating on Alex the way you had on Carly back then.

Gwen tossed a handful of sand at your legs to get your attention. "Earth to Summer. You okay? You kinda spaced out for a second. The heat isn't getting to be too much for you in your condition, is it?"

You frowned for a moment before realizing she was giving you an out of the awkward situation. You rub your forehead and nod weakly. "I think so. Maybe it is best if you take me home, Gwen."

Carly gave you a look. "You two came together?"

Fuck...

"We are neighbours, I figured we might as well carpool, you know, be responsible and all that," Gwen said, quickly covering.

The curious redhead pursed her lips for a moment as if she was thinking something over before grinning and rising to give you a hug goodbye. "Well alright then. See ya in class." She turned to Gwen, "and if ya talk to your brother, tell the jackass I hope he catches some real nasty venereal disease from some Thai hooker. You know, the kind that'll make his prick fall off."

Gwen smiled, more than you thought was necessary, and nodded. "I'll pass that on."

A few more farewells and you were back in the car on your way home. Gwen noticed your silence. "You okay, sis?" she asked. "You don't seem to be yourself right now."

It had been a rough experience. First the fight with Gwen, then the awkwardness with Carly. You realize you are crying. "Are you really that jealous of me?" you ask her quietly.

"Huh?" Gwen asks, acting like she has no recollection of the argument you shared before your swim and Carly's surprise arrival.

"Don't fucking give me that, Gwen. You know what I'm talking about," you say, reddening a little. "I never asked for any of this, you know." You think of Alex and your baby and smile, " honestly I wouldn't want to go back even if I could, I may not have planned this but I'm actually glad it happened to me." You pause for a moment to get back on track. "But what you said still hurt. How do you think it makes me feel when my sister, my best friend and the one person who has always been in my corner for all of this, tells me that I'm getting in the way of her happiness just by being here and being me?" You are crying quite a bit now. "I love you, Gwen, and believe me when I tell you that any guy would have to be clinically insane not to want you, but I can't deal with this shit right now."

Gwen sits in silence for a few agonizingly long moments. "I'm sorry, Summer," she says, keeping her eyes on the road but squeezing your hand with one of hers to reassure you of the sincerity of her apology. "You know I love you, sis. I didn't mean it, I was just in a bitchy mood. As crazy as this has been for all of us, I can't imagine how it's been for you. I guess I'm just feeling a little inadequate. It took me my whole life to become the woman you look up to so much, you've managed to blossom from the terrified girl I met on the stairs to this amazing woman almost overnight."

You smile. "I think the magic that did this had something to do with that." You had decided to stop calling it a curse. It didn't feel like a curse anymore, it felt... right. "I couldn't have managed without you, Gwen. Thank you."

Your stomach rumbled, ruining the moment. Gwen laughed. "Well we left the beach a lot earlier than I had planned. Wanna go out for lunch?"

"Definitely," you answer, realizing how famished you are feeling.

"Okay, where to?" asked Gwen.

You think for a moment and then both say at the same time, "Perucci's!"