39. Online help

Nothing really worth noticing happened later. She behaved normally, nothing seemed out of place, and in fact, she was around me most of the time, asking if I needed anything and making sure I was comfortable.

The moments passed in a flash. The next moment, we headed to bed, and the very next, I had fallen into a deep slumber.

NEXT DAY

“Honey, breakfast is ready,” she called out from the kitchen.

“Coming,” I replied back.

We sat down for breakfast, both of us playing our parts exactly as we were supposed to. She acted like the caring wife she had always been, and I played the husband who had no idea anything was wrong. The breakfast passed peacefully, with nothing unusual happening between us.

After we finished, I told her I was going upstairs to get some work done.

From the outside, it probably looked like I was simply falling back into the same routine I'd had before discovering her cheating. But that wasn't what I was doing. I had my reasons.

I didn't want to give her even the slightest hint that something had changed. If I suddenly started acting differently, she might become suspicious, and I wasn't ready for that. So I was going to remain exactly the same as before, at least on the surface.

The difference was that this time, there were no doubts.

No suspicions.

I knew.

I headed upstairs and entered the room. It almost felt like ages since I'd last been here. I walked toward the window, but this time, I had no desire to look outside. If anything, I wanted to keep it shut.

Because through that window, I could see that bastard's house.

I gritted my teeth at the thought.

To think that such a lowlife had been having his way with my wife all this time... How was that even possible?

I turned away and sat down at my desk.

I had work to do, and just because I was focusing on it didn't mean I'd lost focus on my wife. I still needed to keep an eye on her, but I couldn't spend every second watching her either. I had to make it look natural.

About an hour later, I went downstairs under the excuse of getting some water.

She was in the kitchen, busy preparing food. I watched her for a moment before quietly returning upstairs and getting back to work. There wasn't really much left for me to do. For some reason, my boss hadn't given me much to work on, which was actually better for me. I didn't have the energy to deal with anything complicated anyway.

After finishing whatever little work I had, I found myself getting bored. So I started browsing through the internet, reading about what was happening around the world and just keeping myself updated. After a while, I came across a random post on a random website where people post questions or problems they were dealing with, and other users could respond with advice or possible solutions. It was basically a place where strangers from all over the internet could share their experiences and help each other out. The user in that post had asked for help with a personal problem, and since I had nothing better to do, I started reading through the comments to see what kind of answers people had given.

Surprisingly, many of the replies were actually helpful. Some people had given thoughtful advice, while others had shared their own experiences.

Huh... this is actually pretty useful.

I leaned back in my chair, thinking about it. It suddenly struck me how amazing it was to live in a time like this. Almost anything you wanted to know was only a few taps away. You could ask a question, and somewhere out there, there was probably someone who had dealt with the same thing and was willing to share their experience. The online world really was something…

…

Wait... then that means...

There could be an answer to my question too.

I stared at the screen for a bit, my fingers placed on the keyboard. I hesitated, wondering what might happen if I actually asked. What if someone recognized what I was talking about? What if someone judged me? Or worse, what if I actually found an answer and didn't like what it told me?

I sat there for another few seconds before finally muttering, “Fuck it.”

I created an account on the website and chose a completely random username. There was no reason for anyone to know who was actually behind the account. It was anonymous, anyways. I opened the page to create a new post and slowly typed out what had been bothering me.

Why do I feel aroused when I imagine or witness my wife being close with someone else, and why does it feel even stronger when it's an old man?

I looked at the words for a moment before finally posting it.

The moment it went up, my heart started pounding. I didn't know what kind of answers I was going to get, and suddenly I felt nervous about the whole thing. Maybe people would laugh at me. Maybe they'd tell me something was seriously wrong with me. I had no idea what to expect.

I quickly shut the laptop and leaned back in my chair, trying to calm myself down. For, I didn't want to think about it anymore. I'd check the answers later.

I went downstairs to the living room and sank back onto the couch, remote in hand, trying to lose myself in whatever was on the screen. The sound of my wife moving through the house pulled my attention away immediately. Every time she bent over to wipe a surface or reached up to dust a shelf, her fat perfect ass pushed out, the fabric stretching tight across it. Her round soft tits bounced lightly with each movement.

I told myself to look away, but my eyes kept drifting back. It was my wife, not someone else's, yet something about watching her like this felt different now. Restricted. Like I had lost some unspoken right to her body. The thought made my stomach twist, but my cock gave a small, traitorous twitch anyway. I hated how pathetic it felt to sneak glances at her while she worked, but I couldn't stop. Each movement of her hips, each bend that made her ass cheeks spread slightly against the fabric, sent another pulse of heat through me.

“No, control yourself.”

I glued my eyes to whatever was being shown on TV, and just like that, some time passed. Before I knew it, it was already lunchtime. After I finished eating, I remembered the post I'd made earlier. Curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to check if anyone had replied. I headed upstairs, opened my laptop, and logged into the site.

Six replies…

God.

My heart pounded as I clicked the first one.

"Been there, man. Watching my wife laugh with an old guy at a street made my cock rock hard for the first time in years. I fought it for months until I realized fighting only made the urge stronger. Once I stopped resisting, our sex life exploded. Now I get off thinking about his hands on her."

“W-What? The hell is wrong with him?”

I swallowed hard and moved to the next.

"It's normal. The taboo hits different when it's an older man. My wife started seeing our retired neighbor and I swear I've never been harder than when I heard them through the wall. She came home smelling like his cologne and I fucked her like an animal. Best decision we ever made."

I stared at the comment for a few seconds, unable to understand what I'd just read. How could someone be okay with that? That was his wife. His wife was fucking another man, and instead of being angry about it, he was saying he enjoyed it.

Crazy people. I moved to the third comment, already expecting it to not be any different.

"My wife is 32 and her bull is 68. I used to feel exactly like you, pathetic and ashamed. Now I kneel at the foot of our bed while he claims her and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The moment I accepted it, the guilt turned into the hottest arousal of my life."

B-BULL?? What are these terms?

This wasn't just one strange person anymore. There were actually other men talking about the same thing as if it were completely normal. I rubbed my forehead, trying to make sense of it. How are these guys okay with this? That's your wife. Your wife is with another man, and you're telling strangers on the internet that you're fine with it?

Where is the world heading towards?

Number four was shorter but no less direct.

"Stop fighting your dick. It knows what it wants. Mine gets rock hard every time my wife comes home with random guy’s cum leaking down her thighs. Yours will too once you let it."

I couldn't believe what I was reading. Were they actually joking with me? That had to be it. There was no way these people were being serious. But as I kept reading, it became harder to convince myself of that. These weren't jokes or random comments. They were genuine pieces of advice from people who seemed to have actually gone through something similar.

I moved to the fifth one.

"Face it head on. Next time you feel that rush, go stand right next to them. Look at his hands on her. Breathe through the jealousy and the arousal until you can tell which is stronger. That's how I learned to live with it instead of against it. Now I encourage my wife to spend time with older men because watching her enjoy it is better than any porn."

Wait... what? Learned to live with it?? Why are every comment talking about accepting it?

I was getting more and more confused as I read through the replies. When I'd made the post, I thought at least someone would make fun of me, or maybe someone would actually tell me how to fight these urges and get them under control. Instead, almost every comment was telling me to accept them, understand them, or even embrace them with open arms.

Is this really that normal? I stared at the screen, trying to make sense of it. Or am I making this into a much bigger deal than it actually is?

I moved to the final comment and this one was different from the others. Instead of simply telling me to accept my feelings, the person actually tried to explain why I might be feeling this way.

“There may be a psychological reason behind it. Humans are still animals at the end of the day, and we're wired with all kinds of instincts surrounding attraction, competition, and relationships. When you see your partner choosing someone else, especially someone who represents a different kind of power, those instincts can get mixed together. Jealousy, insecurity, helplessness, curiosity, and arousal can overlap in ways that don't always make logical sense. For some people, the feeling of losing control itself can become part of the attraction. It doesn't necessarily mean you actually want to lose your wife. It may simply mean that some submissive part of you is responding to the situation. You probably spent your whole life thinking you were supposed to be the one in control, the one your wife chose. Seeing her with someone else completely reverses that dynamic. You're no longer the person directing the situation, and that loss of control can create a reaction you don't understand. That's why you may feel ashamed and aroused at the same time. Your brain doesn't always separate those emotions as neatly as you think it should."

My eyes stuck on the screen, cock half hard in my pants without me even realizing. Every single one of them was telling me to enjoy it in their own way. The fifth comment about facing it head-on had seemed like a decent practical advice, but this one had been different from the rest, actually trying to explain why I might be feeling this way. The part about jealousy, helplessness, and arousal becoming mixed together kept replaying in my head. I didn't want to admit it, but some of it actually made sense.

Still, I couldn't stop wondering if they were truly happy knowing their wives were fucking old men. The thought sent another guilty throb through my shaft.

No. Not this again. I can't have these thoughts. I cant be reacting like this. I shoved the idea of acceptance away before it could make me any harder than I already was.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

“Are you busy?”

I jumped at the sound of my wife's voice and hurriedly closed the laptop before turning my head toward the door.

“N-no. Of course not.”

The door opened, and she looked in at me.

“I’m going to Leena's house,” she said. “She called me over for some snacks.”

I thought about it for a moment. I didn't really have anything to do, and perhaps going with her would be better than sitting alone upstairs with my thoughts.

“I'll come with you.”

She looked slightly surprised.

“No, I think you should rest.”

The words immediately caught my attention.

Why doesn't she want me to come?

For a moment, I felt a small flicker of suspicion, but I quickly pushed it down. I couldn't let her notice anything unusual about me.

“What do you mean? I'm okay,” I said casually. “In fact, I'd like to thank her husband too. He helped me out that day, after all.”

She hesitated for a moment before adding, “But her husband isn't at home.”

That was enough for me to understand. She didn't want me there.

So that's what this is about.

I wasn't going to let that stop me. If anything, it made me want to go even more. Whatever was going on, I needed to be there.

I stood up from my chair and tried to keep my expression casual.

“So? I'll thank Leena then. Let's go.”

Before she could say anything else, I walked out of the room.