Halloween26 Ch 5

Carla gets to her feet, intending to get another beer from the kitchen. A sudden crackle of static makes her jump, and Ellen spills some popcorn on the sofa. The jarringly loud static disappears, replaced by a grainy image of what looks like a basement. Nothing scary is happening, yet there’s a heavy note of menace in the footage. An off-putting background hum is audible. It cuts to an exterior shot of a big house in visible disrepair.

Suddenly it’s full color, the camera focused on a shapely rear end in tight, red shorts. Hips sway as a girl walks along a paved walkway. New camera angles show that she’s carrying a pizza.

Carla looks around; everyone’s watching intently, but this is weird, right? No credits, no previews.

The pizza girl rings the doorbell.

The blonde cougar who answers is tall and busty, wearing nothing but a silky robe, which is wide open. Between her legs hangs a soft penis that is fully twelve inches long, and as thick as Carla’s bicep.

Billie chokes on her beer. Carla gapes. Ellen does a spit take.

“Whoaho! Oh yeah!” Stef says, sitting straight up—or she tries, but she coughs immediately and thumps her chest.

“What the fuck?” Carla mutters. That is a penis. Even if this movie is R, they can’t show that. Can they? This movie’s supposed to be PG-13.

“Oops,” says the woman in the movie, quite deliberately flicking the shoulders of her robe off as she gazes sultrily at the younger delivery woman. The robe falls, and Carla can hear Stef breathing through her nose like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park as the blonde’s huge breasts come into view.

“Billie,” Carla begins, but the movie does an abrupt cut.

Black and white again: a room containing nothing but chairs and an intensely spooky atmosphere.

“What the hell are we watching?” Ellen asks.

It’s a fair question, but there’s more static and another cut before she can answer.

Vibrantly colorful, 80s-style animation bursts into action on the screen: musclebound figures over painted backgrounds. Carla instantly recognizes the cartoon version of Diagra the Amazon, although she wasn’t aware that Diagra ever had her own show. The comics aren’t exactly for kids, after all.

Stef chokes on her beer as Diagra rips off her loincloth, revealing a massive shaft, bulging with veins.

In front of her, a slender sorceress with pointed ears and a fancy staff sits on the ground, obviously defeated, staring up at her in terror.

Diagra and her cock loom.

Frightened and blushing, the sorceress opens her robe, revealing a pale, tattooed body with a big, white bush between her legs. Carla’s eyes are glued to the screen.

“Hold on,” Billie says. “Dude, pause it.”

Ellen comes to her senses, blushing. She fumbles in the dark and grabs the remote, pausing the movie on a frame where the shadow of Diagra’s vast cock crosses the sorceress’s shy but excited face.

Carla hurriedly clears her throat and smooths herself out. She got lost in that for a second.