Leave the dorm

I step out of Maya’s dorm and quietly pull the door shut behind me. For a moment, I just stand there in the hallway, trying to collect my thoughts. There’s that familiar knot of guilt in my stomach, but it’s competing with something I’m finding harder and harder to ignore—the excitement of what just happened.

I start walking back across campus, keeping my head down. My girlfriend crosses my mind, but this time the guilt doesn’t hit me with the same force. Instead, I catch myself replaying the afternoon with Maya and smiling despite myself. That realization makes me uncomfortable. I used to think the guilt would eventually stop me. Now I’m starting to wonder if I even want it to.