34. She is mine

I felt utterly embarrassed. Coming in your pants. Can you imagine that? I took a deep breath, the fog of arousal thinning with every second. The more the clarity set in, the more a dull shame crept up on me, resting somewhere uncomfortable in my chest.

Not that coming in my pants was some grave crime. It wasn’t like I had done something unforgivable, something so abnormal that I needed to mentally respawn just to get past it. It wasn’t that.

What bothered me was how it happened.

A few squeezes. That was it.

Of all the ways... Squeezes? Seriously?

I had no words for the mess my thoughts were turning into. My mind just kept circling it, poking at the same detail again and again, as if repeating it would somehow make it make sense.

Sigh...

I opened the bathroom door, it was dark. Not pitch black, but dim enough to feel secluded. I guess, she wasn't lying... I mean, Why would she even lie? There was no reason to... Right?

I gave a small tap to my head at the unnecessary questions. And yet, for some reason, I felt a little relieved that she hadn't been lying? But why???

God. I really needed to take my medicines soon. Otherwise the questions inside my head would just keep stacking up, questions I didn't have answers to.

The bathroom was dark, but manageable. I shut the door behind me and quickly took off my pants, staring down at the mess of what I had just made. It wasn't visible, and I was glad it wasn't. Even so, I could still picture how it must have been looking.

Still… keeping my little embarrassment aside.

It would be a complete lie to say it hadn’t felt good. Maybe that was what made it feel so strange. So awkward. After all, this was my first time experiencing something like this. My body reacted in a way I wasn’t used to, responding faster than my pride could keep up with.

And maybe, over time, it would just become another thing. Something normal. Something I wouldn’t overthink.

Goddamn.... A sudden burst of irritation flared inside me.

And what the fuck??! She’s my wife. MY. WIFE.

Sure, I had come in my pants after a few squeezes, but that didn’t mean I needed to beat myself up over it. I was missing the bigger picture entirely. Her efforts. The thought she had put into all of this. The level of boldness it must have taken for her to step outside her comfort zone just to spice things up between us.

If anything, it must have been brutally embarrassing for her. She must be probably hiding in the room right now, or maybe she had already gone to sleep, unsure how she’d even look me in the eye afterward.

She had pushed her shyness aside, stepped out of her comfort zone. For... Me.

And here I was, stuck obsessing over my own embarrassment.

Goddamn it. Fuck this embarrassment. It was fun.

She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. And at the end of the day, that was all that really mattered.

And it was very clear, what my next steps were supposed to be—Act normal. Like everything was fine.

Don’t bring it up unless she does. I’d rather stay quiet and act clueless than risk embarrassing her. That felt like the safer option. If she needs her time. I will give her just that.

I stepped out after a calming shower, my eyes wandering instinctively in search of my wife. I caught a glimpse of her in the kitchen, rummaging through a few things. Seeing her there, moving around so casually, eased something in my chest.

I went upstairs to my workroom, telling myself I’d just check if there were any pending emails that needed answering.

The entire day had passed in a blur. Thankfully, it was Sunday, so I had the day off. I skimmed through my inbox. Nothing important, except one email from the office.

Apparently, I was being called in urgently for an offline meeting. Tomorrow.

Shit.

I turned off the laptop just as my stomach started growling. And right on cue, her voice called out to me from downstairs.

Perfect timing.

As I stepped down, I saw her setting the table. I reminded myself again to act normal. Stay calm. Don’t make it weird.

She looked up at me immediately. “How are you feeling now?”

I smiled. “Apart from a slight, random sting, I feel back to normal.”

Her smile widened instantly as she handed me a plate, and just like that, the moment passed.

Everything felt normal. There was no strange tension, nothing like what I had imagined in my head. I realized, yet again, that I’d probably been overthinking things.

While we ate, I told her about the sudden meeting scheduled for tomorrow. She frowned, clearly concerned about my health, and suggested I cancel it. I shook my head. It was an important meeting. I didn’t really have a choice.

Still, I reassured her. I told her I felt healthy. Strong. That she had nothing to worry about.

And she reluctantly believed me.

We went to sleep, after I gave her a sweet kiss on her cheek. I thought that would be it. That I had pushed everyrhing down for the night.

But the moment I lay there on the bed, all of it came rushing back. Every thought I had suppressed started bursting out at once.

That eye contact with the old man. The way he mockingly stared straight through my soul. The way she had stayed still in that moment, with her back turned to me, ass completely exposed giving me a view I never wanted to see, while letting the old man destroy her ass so brutally. Those screams from my wife, a completely flip side of what I knew her for, like she was finally freed from some confinement.

THROB... THROB...

N-No. Dis....Disgusting. I needed answers for what I had seen, not this kind of betrayal from my own body.

I couldn’t ignore the strange heat anymore, coiling inside my stomach ever since I started replaying the moments from the dream. I swallowed hard, a thick lump forming in my throat. I didn’t like it. I really didn’t.

This strange, wobbly feeling inside me felt indescribable. I kept getting waves of tingle in my gut whenever I pictured my wife and the old man.

It felt suffocating. My body was responding to my thoughts, against my will. Thoughts that were so wrong and shameful.

I turned to my side, she was sleeping with her back toward me. My eyes wandering on its own to somewhere, where they shouldn't.

Her ass. That ass. Another image from the dream slammed back into my head. The way she was violently bouncing back against that bastard's dirty cock.

THROB... THROB...

T-The way... he was all over her...

THROB... THROB...

T-The... w-way... they w-were mating... like animals.

THROB... THROB...

I clenched my jaw, grinding my teeth in slight frustration and anger. God, Please. Never make me see something like that again. I beg you. I don't want these thoughts. I don't want these reactions. I... Don't want this.

She is mine. She will always be mine.