Rob and Andrew talk about my wife

When I told Rob what I had walked in on, he was beside himself in shock. He asked for details, and I gave him as much as I could. Rob was awestruck, and when he came over later that night, Andrew was already over playing video games on my couch against me. I felt like a third wheel once again, as Rob sat down beside him. The neighborhood loser and the ultimate alpha male began talking to each other in hushed tones so I couldn’t hear them, even though I was in the same room. I eavesdropped on them and overheard the following:

“You HAVE to hit that!” Rob said.

“Eh…what do you think I’ve been trying to do-ah?” Andrew responded.

“Is he cockblocking you?” Rob asked, thumbing in my direction. “You want me to smack him around a little…?”

“Nah, I don’t sweat him.” Andrew laughed. “I’ll just dangle one of my dirty socks in front of him and he’ll be completely distracted.” The two of them fist-bumped while laughing hard.

“Dude, she shaved your balls?!” Rob said, incredulously.

“Eh….yup,” Andrew replied proudly, exhaling confidently.

“And he (Rob nodded to me with his head) walked in on her – on her fuckin’ knees – with your dick in her hand?!”

“Hands, plural. She needed both hands to hold it-ah” Andrew replied with a smirk.

“Nice”, Rob said with a smile. “Welcome to the club.”

“Eh…thanks.”

Seeing the two of them sitting together the way they were, laughing, talking…an intense feeling of inferiority began to bubble within me, to the point where I suddenly felt very unworthy to be in Andrew and Rob’s presence.

“Eh…you should have seen the way she was staring at it…” Andrew said to Rob. “She inspected it wide-eyed like it was the biggest thing she had ever seen-ah…”

“Look what she’s used to,” Rob replied, again nodding in my direction. “What at you gonna do about you-know-who?”

“Eh…fuck ’em,” Andrew said looking right at me. “What’s he gonna do about it?”

“I love this,” Rob said with an ear to ear smile, also turning his eyes to mine, then back to Andrew. “She’s all yours, buddy. She’s waiting for you.”