Meet Andrew

While Rob was all about banging hot chicks, playing sports, and making money, my nerdy tag-along friend, Andrew, was all about Star Trek and WWE. No one really talked to Andrew because he couldn’t hold a conversation without talking about one of those two franchises, ad-nauseum. Even Andrew’s older brother, James – another close friend of mine and a regular part of our social circle who lived with Andrew in a small apartment down the street from mine – could only talk to Andrew in small doses. Andrew stood out when he hung out with us – the rest of the guys took the time to dress and groom, while he wore WWE apparel like it was nightclub attire. It was evident he gave himself haircuts with his electric shaver, and he had the same pair of worn-in sneakers on every single day.

Andrew did have a ‘thing’ that could get people to chuckle, no matter who was in the room. When he tagged along with us, Andrew could make anyone laugh by making fun of me. Whether it was in front of my friends, my wife or a stranger, Andrew loved to isolate any weakness he could see in me to amuse others. For example, he once made my friends laugh by saying I throw like a girl after my wife asked me to toss her something. Another time, he corrected inconsistencies in a story I told my friends about a topic I claimed to be an expert in, discrediting me in the process. Many times, Andrew’s subtle innuendos about the size of my dick got a smile out of my wife. Humiliating me was his ‘in,’ but I was thankful his lack of social skills prevented him from parlaying any of those moments into something more at my expense. Despite that, there was something about letting Andrew tag along with me that made me feel like an alpha male. Of course, that begged the question: was that what Rob felt like when I hung around him?