Divorce Proceedings

It was 8:45 am on a beautiful clear, warm Monday morning, and I saw my ex and her attorney standing outside the courthouse. They were both smiling confidently, but the lawyer, Gloria Beck, a prominent 47 year old divorce attorney had dyed her hair orange and purple and was wearing it in pigtails. She had a zebra print blazer over a pink polka dot blouse and a short, pleated plaid school-girl skirt, white knee socks and black platform shoes. She looked totally ridiculous, but thought she looked professional and unique for a lawyer.

Next to her was my soon-to-be ex Haylee. Her thick, light blonde hair was now a lime green Mo-hawk, and she was dressed like a hooker: low-cut shiny gold halter top, pink skirt, and gold knee-length boots. She thought she was dressed properly for court and loved her new look.

Neither of them remembered the meeting we had at Gloria's office Friday afternoon, where I "suggested" their new looks and how great they thought they looked.