Meeting our new 'bartender'.

After their lunch and review of the rules, Ryan and Heather decided to compare notes over tea or some other type of drink in the community centre. Entering the place, which was decked out in various types of chairs: some plush, deep and soft; some simple but comfortable barstools next to high tables and the bar. The tables looked a deep mahogany, old, sturdy make. How they had created this stuff in what was ostensibly a few hours, neither of them knew. The bar was surprisingly made out of stone polished to a shine. Behind it, they found a man with a long beard who was about as tall as some of the bottles he was sorting. He wore a black vest over a white shirt, black pantaloons and most notably a black pointy rimless hat. As they approached the bar, he said, “Hello, I am Aimé, and I will be your server for the rest of your stay or at least until I have decided whether I'd rather do something else. What can I get you this lovely afternoon?”

“Finally, a server with some class and skill and not a green monster.” Heather blurted out. “I would like to have a soy chai laté please.”

Aimé pushed a few buttons on a panel in front of him before turning to Ryan. “So what can I get for you, good sir?” As the gnome asked this question, a machine started making a bunch of noise.

“Uhhh, so are you like a gnome from WoW?” Ryan stammered out, confused by his first contact with one of the gnomes.

“Well, no, most of them are more the nature-loving trickster type. I just like tinkering. I am the only artificer-type gnome around here. The others pursue, well, arts, growing plants and here and there, some set up traps when they are bored. Alberto is sometimes vindictive but takes most things in good fun. He is the one you are most likely to indirectly or directly contact other than me. He is the head of editing.” The gnome on thin ice with Alberto said. The head of editing didn’t like to be made out to be some evil entity. “If I had my choice, I would be mostly making things. The show, however, doesn’t need that at this moment. You guys enjoying the facsimile of a smartphone I made.”

“Haven’t used them beyond looking up the rules, so can’t say much about feel and responsiveness, but yeah, it is a decent phone. Wait, back up have they already set up traps?” The homebody replied smartly, ignoring the bit about Alberto.

“Not that I know of, but I can hardly babysit everyone whilst they are doing their own business. Alex and I made sure that in the tent and stuff we gave you there were none when you got them. There shouldn’t be any in new facilities either. There might be some later on. Sir, do you just want to ply me for information or also a drink to have a conversation over?” Aimé was composed and spoke as if he had at some point tried to prevent at least half of the traps set up around here, but couldn’t.

“Sure, get me a cup of tea,” Ryan replied to the bartender.

“Same as the lady who walked in, or a different type of tea?” A question the gnome hoped to be answered with same as he had no clue about differing types of tea, their blend origins and more. The machine would figure it out, right? If he needed it to?

“Uhh, sure,” Ryan said, knowing as little as the gnome. This was answered by a repeat of the button presses.

“Here you go, madam,” Aimé said, shoving forward a cup of what seemed to be a chai laté. “So anything else I can do for both of you?”

“Why is the green monster so rude to me?” Heather asked, sipping her chai.

“He reflects what he sees. I, on the other hand, would treat you all the same in his position.” He replied while polishing a goblet. Heather spat out her tea in surprise. “I haven’t pranked anyone, but I am the elder in this situation, so I should give a good example where I can.”

“Wait, when you say Samson is a reflection of what he sees. You mean to say he is mean because I am as well?” The heiress asked, receiving a nod in response, the small movement exaggerated by the large pointy hat that moved along with it. “Is there a way to stop him from being mean to me?”

“Stop calling him a monster. Start being nice and treating him with respect, as you are with me.” The gnome said, looking at his reflection in the glass.

“But he tortured me, handsome,” Heather said, placing her hands in front of her mouth. This had been the first time she had felt the transformation triggering all day.

“I didn’t know you were into short men with beards.” Ryan joked, knowing full well that indeed she at least thought he was interesting.

“Sweetheart, I am flattered, but you are not here to win my heart. You are here to win your master’s.” Aimé rebuffed the flirtation.

“This was because of the dumb transformation. But are you sure you couldn’t help a girl out with something?” Heather asked again.

“Ohh, I knew, and only advice. Sorry, Syl doesn’t want us to get involved with contestants.” The bartender said whilst Ryan chuckled from the side.

“What is so funny, Robberts?” The woman bitched.

“Simple. You don’t seem to know what the trigger conditions are, and I do. I know why it is triggering now and not before.” The man, who was cackling like a little kid, said. “Do you want me to enlighten what I saw in the purchases? Why are you doing this?”

“Please do.” The heiress regained her composure as she started sipping the tea again. She realised the flavour was off; it wasn’t great chai.

“Please, let’s stop the formal bulshit Heather. Do you think you can keep that up whilst we are all effectively dating Chris? Not that it matters. Your transformation makes you talk and behave more suggestively. This you likely already figured out. How and why it triggers is simple. How low is your ranking?” Ryan held up a finger. “And do you want to do the thing you are saying? In the case of Aimé over here, are you into him? From what I can tell, yes. So you are flirting with him. You don’t see me as a potential partner because I am gay, and as such you don’t try.” A second finger was raised. “Those are the two factors for triggering your curse.”

“That green bastard! How dare he do this?” The woman got ready to storm off.

“It is a curse, but it has better effects than my regular transformation, I would say. I wonder if upgrading or altering is even possible.” Ryan said, finally sipping some of his tea.

“So you are saying I am fucked with this?” She spun around with a fury in her eyes that he had seen more often than that of any other man or woman. This was when she didn’t get her way.

“No, Heather, I am saying it is a very mild thing. Samson gave you a curse he knew you would hate but would genuinely be useful with how stuck-up you are.” He was calm. Her tone was one he was more comfortable with than any other person he had met. It was his day-to-day interaction with her. “This is like when Chris and I are saying you should make improvements in your plan because it would prevent erosion, increase the runoff capacity or anything else like that. It is a sour apple, but once you realise its use, you can move on and see the value in it.” He was sipping the awful thing, pretending it was a drink. He wouldn’t order this again.

“Why do you think it is helpful?” She said with a glare that would have killed a lesser man.

“Do you think you can get VP by not engaging in the type of behaviour the curse forces you to propose?” Ryan asked in response. The angry vixen shook her head. “Well, now you have a reason to propose them and act on those proposals. If you fail, you can always blame the curse.”

“Okay, fair… I hate to say it, but you are correct. R… Ryan, you are a smarter man than I expected.” Heather mentioned. Aimé coughed in response as if to say something without saying it. Heather didn’t pick up what the gnome was putting down.

Ryan looked appreciatively at Aimé for a moment. “Yeah, and you are a denser woman than I had feared. Nice of you to try and keep to a first-name basis, Heather. It is progress nonetheless. Since I decided to spill the beans on curses to you. Did you look into how different types of transformations are different?”

“No? Should I have? Is there a difference in the effects of this nonsense? I haven’t noticed any.” Heather asked.

“Well, there are a few different options, but there are six categories. From best to worst, they are:

• Boon
• Minor
• Major
• Punishment
• Curse
• Elimination.

For the most part, boons are all upside, and each step down gives less benefit, but upgrades will make them better. Minor gives you a hindrance with major upside or alters you very little. Major can alter you a lot for little upside. Punishments tend to have no upside but can still be fixed with upgrades.” Ryan explained.

Heather interjected, “Like Miss Thomas’s transformations?”

“Correct. Missy had at least 2 punishments in there, if not all of the options were. So either all of her options were major, or some were already punishments and became cursed versions of themselves.” Ryan confirmed but gave room for the inevitable response.

“Wait, you suspect some of us got punishments at the start?” Heather asked.

“Yep. Chris was all boons. The Jessies seemed like all boons or minor. I had a boon, and the rest were either minor or major. Yes, I categorise the character designer as something that could be a boon. Same goes for Becky; maybe she had a punishment in there. I suppose ‘Piggy needs…’ might qualify. Your transformations seem to be either minor or major. Will, in contrast, had a major and a bunch of punishments. Which kind of makes sense if we assume the rankings they gave us ahead of the season. It is as if their pre-ranking was a challenge. Challenge rankings determine which types of options are available to you. The lower the rankings, the worse the transformations.”

“Was that also in the type of transformation section?” The curious growing heiress asked.

“No, it’s in the challenge section.” Ryan reacted shocked. “But before I get into that whole nonsense, let’s finish the transformation section. Cursed transformations do allow you to upgrade, but the upgrade can shift tone or add new stipulations, but generally doesn’t increase it. They are meant as traps in case someone gets them. Lastly, eliminations… oof, the examples are terrible. I will not traumatise you and just say that you don’t want that.” Taking a deep breath, he added, “I looked at conditions for eliminations. Physical violence and rape are amongst them. Other than that, there is the ending a round with less than 0 VP that we know about. And the most likely one that Syl has been threatening with: failing an Elimination Challenge.” His tone grew soft as he said it.

Heather looked at her cup of ‘Chai’ and softly said, “No, Ryan, what I was about to do yesterday was a thing that could have gotten me eliminated. Be honest. What could have happened if I had been eliminated and Syl hadn’t interfered?”

Aimé broke in on their conversation. “Impact play and other SM things are an exception when it is consensual to eliminations, in case you are interested. What is in the rules is not, by definition, what will happen here. It is an extent. It is examples from other seasons. They are from a few different seasons, each with their own intensity.”

“I’d say they are pretty similar.” Ryan refuted.

“The fox is the best off; then the cow. I will agree that all the ones except that aren’t a form of living sextoy who is aware are similar in the middle, and then you have the variations on living sextoy. Those are horrendous to experience, I imagine. So yes, there are gradients! Small, not as noticeable ones, but there are. I have no idea what Syl would have given you. It is too early in the season to guess. Later on, I might have been able to make an educated guess, but now the road is so open with so few transformations. Sextoy, Bimbo, just some generic background piece, a painting or something. I have no clue. Turning you into a bird based on the name of the one transformation you have? So many options right now.” Aimé replied. Heather looked at the gnome in horror as he was speaking horrendous fates into her mind, all whilst holding a relatively straight, smiling face. Customer service, though it may be it was there. She buckled into her knees.

“Fucking hell, couldn’t you have softened the blow?” The man who had properly read the rules said.

Aimé shrugged. “Probably could have. It wouldn’t have helped her know what she almost lost. Softening it wouldn’t have made her realise the actual stakes. Sometimes you need to break a thing before you can build it up. Does that go for Heather? I don’t know, but her conversation with Syl this morning made her realise there is more to her than just what she believes. Otherwise, she would not have asked. On top of that, sugarcoating stuff when someone asks you to be honest will only lead to more pain in the long run.” He was ruthless, still keeping the smile on his face. Ryan hadn’t met a staff member like him before. Samson was at times a dick, but he had fun with you and joked.

Would Samson have said a similar thing? Ryan thought to himself before shouting. “Get some chamomile and lavender flowers and pour hot water over them in a pot, let it sit in the pot for at least four minutes and run it through a strainer and hand me a cup of the liquid.” The only man in the room, trying to help the panicking woman, said. Meanwhile, the crass gnome behind the bar did as he was told; working with concrete instructions would hopefully help with the flavour. “Okay, Heather, I am here. Listen to me. What can you see?”

Bobbing in the high chair, she said, “Bottle of Jack, bottle of rum, bottle of ginger syrup, a gnome, wooden floorboards, one with 3 knots and another with 4, and you trying to help me even if I am demanding you to do everything. Thank you for your effort, Ryan. You are a better man than most I know.” She calmed down somewhat after saying the things she could see. It had pulled her out of the spiral.

“Okay, now name things you can hear?” Ryan followed up.

“The water boiling, steps outside, your voice, snapping of stems or twigs. Why are we snapping twigs?” Heather asked.

“Some herbal infusion or tea, whatever you want to call it. Chris would get mad if I called it tea. He can be such a snob.” Ryan said with a chuckle and a wink.

“So he isn’t just stubborn about ideals but also about food and drink?” Heather asked.

“If you have to eat as much as he does, it is either learn how to make it yourself and get too good to go out, or anything will go as long as you end up with your calories. He ended up picky as fuck. He has always been a stickler for rules for as long as I have known him, though. So yes, the tea thing is just an extension of that. Tea without leaves or stems from the tea plant can’t officially be called tea.” Ryan explained. This had taken Heather fully out of panic mode now.

“Wait, so this isn’t a tea? Learned something new today. Next you will tell me there are multiple types of tea.” Aimé said.

“There are, and they are prepared differently. White, Green, Black, Oolong, Paimutan, to name a few that I remember from Chris listing options to me once. I dislike the heavy smokiness of Paimutan. I have since learned he served me a cup once, and it was like I was sitting next to a smoker. Wouldn’t recommend.” The only person in the room who had the vaguest idea of tea said. “So what kind of drinks do you specialise in?”

“Should I have a specialisation in drinks? I have none.” The clueless gnome said.

The heiress tried to find out how unsuited the gnome was by asking more questions. “Soooo, do you know any mixed drinks?”

“Rum and coke.” He replied.

“That’s it?” Ryan asked. Aimé repeated the phrase confidently back whilst handing the cups of the infusion, and the other two repeated it in shock another time. “Man, you need to ask to swap with Samson. He seemed at least moderately interested in running the bar.” The duo sipped the infusion as they calmed down, and the doors opened.