Harry gets Married

Harry had no idea of what was going on at Gringotts bank between his Uncle and the Goblin which was meant to look out for his best interest, at least as far as a Goblin could. Though he knew that something had changed as he walked down one of the castle corridors doing his best to avoid the spells, jynx, and curses sent his way from the people who did not think he deserved to be a School Champion.

As if his feet had a mind of their own Harry did a complete one-eighty and headed back the direction he had just come from. He stopped at the door to the girl's bathroom where Hermione had just entered, thus leaving him to fend for himself in the corridor.

Harry found he could not move from that spot no matter what he did, and all the spells he cast to end whatever enchantment he was under did not take any effect. (Vernon had let him keep his freaky magic for now, but lowered it to that of a kid about to enter their First Year) Harry began to wonder if his body was acting out of self reservation for when Hermione was with him only the Slytherins cast spells at him, which was actually normal and easy to get around.

Thus idea turned out to be wrong as Hermione exited the bathroom and headed past him, yet Harry could still not move a muscle. It took a moment for his bushy-haired friend to notice she had walked past him causing her to come back and start talking to him, but rather than her telling him off for not heading to class Hermione surprised him.

"You know Harry, I don't know why I never noticed it before but your Uncle and Cousin are as hot as can be," Hermione said not sounding like herself as her voice was a little tighter pitched than normal almost sounding like Lavender Brown when she and Padme gossiped about something.

"That is nice Hermione but I am sort of stuck here can you undo whatever spell I was hit with?" Harry asked.

"I don't know," Hermione said her voice sounding a little like an American Vally Girl that Harry was a little surprised she was not blowing some bubble gum. "So do you think your Uncle or Cousin would find me attractive?" she asked using her arms to squish her chest as if presenting her rack to him.

"Ew, Hermione that is gross," Harry said only for her to shoot out her hand and bitch slap him.

"No what's gross is your disrespect to your massive stud of an uncle and cousin," Hermione said glaring at him.

"They are both fat bastards," Harry began only for Hermione to knee him in the crotch and walk away.

As Harry fell to the floor cradling his hurt balls the door to the bathroom opened and Millicent Bulstrode walked out. Looking up into her ugly face that looked like a giant had sat in a bowl of oatmeal, her hair looking little a bush of nettles and a whole look that looked like it could put a Muggle Zombie off its meal Harry tried to flinch back. But instead, he found himself saying, "Lovely Millicent I have agreed to become your Servant-Husband." There were some snickers from the crowd that was near enough to overhear his words.

The only one of the crowd who did not snicker was Hermione who despite being in a public corridor was playing with her sweater puppies as she envisioned Vernon or Dudley would do it. Millicent was also not snickering as she looked down at Harry with a smile that made even the portraits flinch backward.