Condoms in the office

Cass and I stepped in from out of the rain. The front office felt like the opposite of the maintenance shed. Everything smelled like coffee and paper instead of gasoline. Phones rang constantly. Clipboards multiplied when nobody was looking.

Behind the front desk sat two women I’d somehow managed not to meet. The first was a bright-eyed blonde with an impossibly cheerful smile.

She looked up, “You must be the famous gopher.”

“I was hoping that story had died.”

“It absolutely has not.”

The overweight brunette beside her barely looked up from a stack of paperwork. She wore her sarcasm as naturally as other people wore perfume. “Depends which story,” she deadpanned.

“There’s more one than one!?”

The blonde burst into laughter.

I sighed, “I walked right into that one.”

“You really did.”

I shifted awkwardly. “So…”

The brunette finally looked up.

“What can we do for you?”

I lowered my voice. “I heard…” The two of them leaned forward together. “…there’s a supply of condoms for the staff.”

Silence.

Then both of them started giggling.

“Oh my God,” the blonde said. “He’s actually blushing.”

“I am not.”

“You absolutely are.”

The brunette stood. “They’re locked up.”

“Seriously?”

“Camp policy.”

She shrugged. “We need the key.”

“Who has it?”

As if summoned by perfect timing, footsteps sounded on the staircase. My brunette dream. Amanda appeared carrying a folder under one arm. She looked from the office staff to me.

No one spoke. The seriousness of Amanda stifling all the giddiness of the girls.

Cass was not affected, “He needs the key the to condom drawer.”

Amanda’s expression shifted instantly from confusion to understanding. “…Oh.” She reached into her pocket, produced a small ring of keys, and unlocked the bottom filing cabinet without another word.

I suddenly wished I’d chosen literally any other errand.

Amanda looked at me over the open drawer. “What did I tell you about making better decisions?”

I cleared my throat. “I am.”

She folded her arms. “Oh?”

“Safe decisions are smart decisions.”

For the first time all afternoon, the corner of her mouth twitched. “I suppose I can’t argue with that.”

Deb breezed through the doorway carrying another stack of papers. “What’s everybody laughing about?”

The blonde answered immediately. “Our gopher’s planning ahead.”

Deb looked from me to Amanda. Then grinned she nudged her cousin,“Why do you have the key, if you’re never going to use anything in that drawer?”

Amanda closed her eyes. “Deb…”

Deb looked to me, “She’s been in a terrible mood lately.”

“Deb.”

“It’s probably because—”

Amanda cut her off before she could continue “My personal life is not office entertainment.”

The room went quiet. Deb raised both hands “Fair enough.”

Amanda let out a slow breath. “Thank you.”

She backed away from the cabinet to let me look in the drawer.

I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for. Durex. Trojan. Lubricated. For her pleasure. For his pleasure. Ribbed. Glow in the dark.

I was tempted to ask Cass how I figured out the size.

The blonde leaned on the counter with an exaggerated whisper. “Look at him.”

The brunette smirked. “He looks like he’d rather unclog another toilet.”

“They’re just office supplies,” Amanda said evenly. “Let’s all act like adults.” That somehow made me even more embarrassed. “Are you looking for a specific type?”

Fuck. I stammered, “A bigger size.”

Now it was the two girls turn to blush.

Amanda slapped her head like she was an idiot for not putting it together herself. (She had seen my dick multiple times). She bent down and pushed condoms around the drawer. She pulled out a black and gold box. “These should work for you.”

As she turned away, I noticed her left hand resting briefly against the edge of the desk. My eyes lingered for a moment on the faint pale line where a ring had once been. It was gone. The mark remained.

She caught me looking. Not angrily. Just long enough for me to realize I’d been staring.

I looked away.

Outside the office, I stepped back into the afternoon sun. Behind me, I could still hear the blonde laughing about something. Cass climbed into the driver seat, “It’s always the dopiest motherfuckahs that have the Dumbo sized dongs.”

I ignored her jabs. The giggling of the two girls now very curious about my dick. My thoughts kept drifting back to the woman with the BMW, the color-coded sticky notes, and the story she still wasn’t ready to tell.

The girls at camp were just play. She was the one I really wanted.