A bride for Doctor Benedict

It’s a glorious day, a day you have waited far to long for. But it is finally here, today, you meet your bride. Finally you will have someone to share your life, your passions, your dreams with. Not that you haven’t tried before, it’s just your other attempts at marriage didn't go well. But this time it will go better, this one will be fool proof.

You think back three years, to your first attempted wedding day. That one went bad because you hadn’t calibrated the jetpack for two people and failed to get more than a few feet off the ground. That damn city councilman with the long arms ruined everything, grabbing your love’s ankles and pulling the both of you down to the ground. At that point you had to leave her behind, there wasn’t any choice at all. It was sad, obviously, that you were torn apart so soon, but you had grown to accept that it wasn’t meant to be.

Two years ago it was the girl herself that was the problem. You had improved the jetpack, but no one told you that your bride got motion sickness and she threw up all over the intake and blew the jet engine half a mile from town square. I mean there are stories of embarrassing weddings that one could laugh at later, but destroying your jetpack within only a few minutes of meeting each other? That was too much. You sigh, she had been very pretty, and her screams were delightful.

Last year it went bad from the start. You flew with your now vomit-proof jetpack to the beauty pageant to announce you were going to marry the newly crowned Miss Springdale and were immediately tazed and handcuffed. It still infuriated you. You’d think a freeze ray would be plenty enough to deal with the Springdale Police **** but there were so damn many of them. It was incredibly rude, you hadn’t even invited them. And besides, where did they get off spending your tax money on that many cops? I mean, if you did pay taxes, which you of course don’t. You laugh, give yourself a moment to delight in the little things.

That laugh was good, you needed that. You take a breath, focus. This year will be different, this year you are perfectly prepared. This year you will swoop in, take your true love in your arms, and fly her back to your impenetrable mountain hideout. Once there, safe from interference, you shall dine and dance and maybe even lose your . . . but that was getting ahead of things. One step at a time you remind yourself. You had learned from your past mistakes, you had studied the Springdale police response, accounted for the new weapons and gear they had purchased in the past year. You were ready. More than ready you thought with a gleeful grin. And besides, the news would be far too busy covering the chaos you were going to unleash in the streets to worry about what you were getting up to. You let loose another deep laugh. Yes, finally, today, all your romantic dreams will come true.