Shopping!

I walk out of the kitchen into the living room, and see that Alice has a guest: A tanned, six foot man with short black hair, a leather jacket (currently zipped up), khakis, a blue office shirt (I can see the collar), and black tennis shoes. He's broad-shouldered, blue-eyed, clean-shaven, square jawed, and what little I can see of his neck and arms suggests he works out a lot.

He immediately coughs and turns around while Alice licks her lips and stares openly. Oh, right, my clothes are still in the dryer. “It's fine,” I roll my eyes, “I don't care.”

The man turns back around and gives me a quick once over, his gaze then settling far below my eyes, “So… Dan, was it?” He walks up and extends a hand, “good to meet you.”

I shake, being careful with my claws, and guess back, “Detective Adam Silver, I presume?”

He lets go easily, and answers, “The one and only. Can I ask why the nudity?”

I shrug, causing a cascade of motion in organs I should not have, “My only clothes are in the wash, and it's not like it's ME you're seeing. But if it's distracting…” I focus briefly, and a Disguise Self spell covers me with illusory clothes. Ah, the joys of Mythic: Inspired Spell gets me anything on my class list of a level I could cast as a Swift action… and Mythic Outpouring means it's free. It just works out to a caster level of six (two class levels, Magic Is Magic to stack both sides of the Gestalt, and then another two points from Inspired Spell), but that means it lasts an hour.

He blinks and looks up, finally meeting my gaze, “Ah… right. She said you were magic, but that is a lot bigger than she let on.”

“Oh, that,” I shrug again, “That's because Alice had rats.”

“Ah, how's that matter?” My lover looks confused, “Thanks for cleaning up, by the way.”

Hmm. How to explain experience and leveling up quickly to someone not used to gaming? “I killed the rats and absorbed their essence, then used that to give myself more options.” It's not quite right, but it works well enough.

“Oh, so like leveling up in an RPG,” the tall guy nods.

I guess I could have just said that, then… “Yeah.” Exactly like that.

“Cool, so you have a summon clothes spell now?” He takes a close look at the suit I faked, then his eyes widen.

“Just an illusion,” I shrug, “which can be seen through somewhat. I should still go shopping, obviously.”

“Yeah…” his mouth sounds dry.

And… huh, didn't bother me all day, but my chest feels full now? Weird. Anyway… “So… anything you'd like to ask?”

“Ahh…” he begins, and trails off. Oh, right. This body would shut down the higher functions of most men.

“So not at this time, okay,” I shake my head, “So… Alice, what's the shopping budget?”

We go over the details as she leads us to her car. I end up in the back seat, Adam taking the front while Alice drives… and I clean up the garbage while we drive, using Prestidigitation to make everything sterile, and sacking the trash in the available used fast food bags for easier carrying. Ugh. We get to the thrift store, I toss the bags into a trash can by the entrance, and we go hunting for things for me.

After much looking, we find a breast pump (used, obviously… but it has all the parts, including the wall charger, and is clean), a couple sweatshirts that will fit over me (although I will still show a lot of this body's cleavage: The neck holes make it clear that they were intended for grossly overweight people), a few skirts I can get on, and something I can use as a brassier (a single piece of slightly stretchy black fabric, about two feet wide and thirty long; the intended use is as a wrap up baby carrier, but it should work to keep the giant orbs in check… not that my back hurts). No actual underwear that fits my proportions, though, so I'll be going commando.

As we leave the store, I tilt my head, my chest starting to ache, “So… why are we dragging you along, Adam?”

“Oh, couple of reasons,” the male detective shrugs, “don't worry about it,” which, of course, makes me worry about it more.

A quick stop at a mega mart for a cheap prepaid smartphone, and we're heading back to Alice's place, under budget.

Assign as we walk in the door, Adam takes a slow breath, “Do you mind putting on some real clothes? I like being able to think.”

I shrug, and take the purchases to my suite to get dressed. I find it's really easy to listen in…I have full ranks in Perception, always roll twenties now, and can maximize a Mythic Surge to boot.

“So, what's the verdict?” Alice's voice as 9 dismiss the illusion.

“She… he… whatever… isn't playing you,” that's Adam as I'm starting to work on the wrap… ugj, those jugs are tender, I should probably fogure out the pump soon, “Dan's legitimately into you, and doesn't seem to have an ulterior motive.”

“So that's a pass, then?” My host again as I'm tying off the wrap.

“Well…” the deeper voice sounds like he's cringing as I fasten a skirt.

“Out with it,” Ms. Silver, as I warm my way into a sweater.

“There are some deep wounds there, still fresh, and earned fairly… but still deep wounds.” Mr. Silver takes a breath, “Just because you're not getting played doesn't mean there won't be some very serious issues. I don't have a handle on exactly how, but your new crush is broken in a very fundamental way, and there's no telling what form the scars will take, what will set off that powder keg, or what the blast radius will be. She needs some damn counseling.” Well… I can't say he's wrong… other than the pronoun.

“Do you know of one that wouldn't throw him in the looney bin for how absurd the story is if he doesn't prove it,” she takes a breath, “and wouldn't make him into a freak show for the world with proof?” Fair point, ma'am.

“No…” he sighs, “...and cutting them loose would mean a big bang when we're not looking, because not many people know how to manage trauma at all: We at least had the police academy course on crisis management. Letting you keep dating her under our deal is the least bad path forward that I can see… but keep in mind: It's still a bad path. Just… keep your eyes open, all right?”

I chuckle as I head back into the main room, now wearing real clothing. No point in deceiving… “So what's the deal, exactly?”