It’s Not A Phazon

“Uh, that's okay if you don't want to,” I said, taking a nervous step back, my hands held up in a hopefully placating gesture to the alien. “I just had a huge amount of sex with two other girls, so-YAIP!”

PLOW!

She’d sort of abandoned her bulky armour back there, so I hadn’t expected it to raise its arm cannon and shoot a blue energy ball at my feet. Still pinned to the tree I barely had room to jump to dodge the attack as Dark Samus snarled in my face, “You think that I cannot perform such an act?” she hissed, her voice crackling with anger. “That my biology makes me incapable to reaching the heights of other females?”

“No! No no no! I-I just got the sense that-!”

“Dost thou hate me?”

The way her eyes seemed to be so full of rage made me gulp. Her hand hovered over my neck as her power armour once more charged its laser directly towards me.

“N-no!”

Dark Samus seemed to be using all three eyes to scan my face for lies, “You hate my human-like bosoms?”

“I-I love all your human-like parts!” I blurted out, my survival instincts kicking into overdrive as the armour continued to charge. “A-and the other ones too!”

A light blue tongue emerged from her lips to lick my face. Was she tasting my honesty? I was too scared to even think about it. “Thou shall submit to the mandatory human ejaculation that I crave.”

“I submit! Totally submit!”

“Good human,” Dark Samus grinned, and began to move.

Her body splatted into mine, quite literally. The phazon her body was made of seemed to quite literally melt into mine upon impact, a jiggling softness I wouldn’t expect from a 100% solid gal but made sense from this partly liquidated beauty. Her tongue followed the same logic, oozing phazon around my mouth dominatingly, tasting much more citrusy than I would have expected.

Dark Samus’ hands were already tearing open my trousers with little care for how buttons and zippers worked. My cock sprung free into the cool air, and her warm grasp was quick to tighten around my shaft. Easily stroking the whole length with how liquid she was.

“Your pathetic human genitalia is quite impressively sized,” she observed, her voice still sounding venomous despite the compliment (did she know what pathetic meant?) “The biological imperative is strong within you.”

“Th-thanks…” I smiled, “I-WOAH!”

My body was dragged away from the tree, but was quickly pinned once more. The armour that still acted as a second entity to Dark Samus grabbed me from under the armpits and raised me up. My legs dangling below me as my body was hoisted skywards to the perfect height for Dark Samus herself to not bend over.

She squeezed her light blue breasts together, creating a tight and warm channel for my cock to become enveloped in. Her rhythm was mechanical, yet devastatingly effective, with her natural lubricant causing instant satisfaction in my dick. As warm and as wet as a pussy. Up and down, up and down. A steady and relentless pace quickly formed. I watched mesmerized as my cock disappeared between those soft Samus sized mounds, my human tip emerging with every downstroke, glistening with precum and phazon.

Her tongue got involved again, and I finally got to see just how long of a tool she had to work with. The bright blue taster escaped her mouth like a lizard, flicking against my tip before wrapping around it completely. It didn’t matter that her teeth were jagged, she would probably just regrow any lost limbs easily. Whatever she was tasting she seemed to enjoy it, devouring every bud of my precum she was squeezing out of me with her tits.

I couldn't form words. I could only grunt and thrust, my toes curling as the pressure squeezed out all sense from my mind.

“I… I’m getting close…”

“Preparing for the extraction,” Dark Samus noted, her pace quickening, her grip tightening. The goopy friction was so fucking incredible. A perfect method to go along with her demanding tone, “Orgasm now, human!”

Perhaps as a cosmic **** for the amount of times I guessed Lucina’s climax, I nutted hard on the alien clone’s command. With a final guttural groan, I shot ropes and ropes of cum shot upwards. Painting her blue hair and breasts in thick white stripes. Yet the phazon babe didn't stop moving, milking me for every last drop with her tight tit-pussy, seemingly pleased with the amount of jizz I was producing.

When it was over she was practically coated in it. A drip of my nut from her blue hair oozing down into her top eye, then cheek, and finally smeared onto her breast.

“Your sample is vast,” she commended, “I did not know human males capable of such breeding liquid. I shall absorb it now, for scientific reasons.”

Part of me thought she was about to lick up all my cum, but something much weirder happened. It literally just… got absorbed. Dark Samus had closed her eyes and all of my cum that had covered her body just shifted inside her. Her skin and hair turned temporarily white in those sections that it had landed on before dissipating into her liquid body.

“Woah…” I mumbled, “That was kinda cool.”

She clicked her tongue at me, “You finally see my brilliance, human?”

Aliens are crazy man. I’d never have expected her to take my ‘breeding liquid’ in such a way. I wonder why…?

“Wait… when you absorb cum, is that how you’d, like, get pregnant?”

She nodded, rubbing the approximation of where Samus’ womb would be, “Correct. Once absorbed, my breeding cycle can grow an infant with the potential to kill Samus Aran in approximately seven days.”

WHAT THE FUCK?! A WEEK?! I’M GOING TO BE AN ALIEN BABY DADDY IN A WWWEEEEEKKK???!!!!

“B-but you’re not pregnant right now, right?!” I asked, hoping with all my heart that the anti-pregnancy stuff these smash bros Olympians ran on applied to Dark Samus too.

Her face grimaced hard, and her hand stopped rubbing her faux womb. “Correct.” She spat out angrily, suddenly lunging forwards to me once more, “This is why you must release more seminal fluid against my body.”

“What?! Why?!”

“Because you are mine, human.” She hissed, eyes growing crazier by the second, and that’s difficult to achieve with no pupils. “Do you not wish to be mine?”

I gulped, her armour looming behind me menacingly, “I-I-”

“Or have you simply found another human to breed with that you deem ‘superior’?!”

Oh fuck. Futaba really wasn’t lying about the yandere thing. This bitch was crazy! I thought she’d just be, like, a yandere for Samus or something! Not me!

“I just… you know…”

Whatever muscles had relaxed during the titfuck were tense as fuck now as her hand snapped upwards around my neck. “You are my pet, Ren-Ren Amamiya. Say thank you.”

“KkC!” I sputtered out, grabbing at her hand but not being able to make purchase on the liquidy nature of her skin.

“SAY IT!”

“Th-thanks…”

“Good human.” Dark Samus hissed, still not releasing my neck, “You will not see another female. You will return to my den, where you shall breed many young warriors for my future war with Samus Aran. Understand?!”

Olympics sex was getting darker by the second. Just have to go along with this for now and hope I’ll find an opening to escape later, “Y-yes…”

With a satisfied huff, Dark Samus pushed me backwards. I landed inside her battle suit, and the arms and legs seemed to wrap around me, trapping me inside it.

The suit began walking me behind the fatass alien. Not much I could do now, the phazon armour had clamped down on me too perfectly. Only weapon I had free was my dick, but considering that’s what got me in this mess I wasn’t too **** to harden it.

“Come. Then you will cum. And I shall finally kill Samus Aran.”

I clicked my tongue, feeling in the mood to whisper smacktalk to the crazy yandere alien. “Tch. You’re a little obsessed you know… is this ‘Samus’ around here now?”

KRAKAPLOW!

The ground erupted in energy, sending Dark Samus flying away from her armour.

“Gah!” she hissed, looking skyward to where a ship was flying in from above the treeline, “ARAN!”

“SAMUS!” I cheered out, feeling the winds of hope rush out as the ship wooshed by overhead. “CAN YOU PLEASE SAVE ME?! PLEAASEE!!”

“NO! SILENCE PET!” Dark Samus roared at me, then pointing her hand to the ship, “BLAST IT!”

The armour I was in began to move, its arm raising towards Samus’ ship and firing a torrent of phazon energy skyward.

Samus was too quick though. Ejecting from the top of the craft to start firing her own armcannon down to the phazon girl. She scuttled back from the fire as the best power armour in history landed between me and Dark Samus.

She shot me a glance backwards. Maybe it was just the adrenaline but I swear the air between us sparked a ZING! of energy. I was just so damn happy to see her!

Her arm cannon changed shape lightly before a few missiles shot out towards the screeching banshee in front of her. Keeping Dark Samus off her feet, she could spend a few seconds to step towards me and the armour.

“Hold tight, kid.”

It was obviously nerve wracking having her aim the cannon directly at my back, but I trusted her enough to know what she was doing. I winced as I heard another missile go off behind me at point blank range, though thankfully no explosion tore up my human body. Instead I just felt incredibly cold, the armour that had trapped me turning into a solid block of frozen phazon from the ice missile. Once it had become fragile enough Samus placed her hands between me and the suit, ripping us apart while parts of the phazon broke apart.

I stumbled forwards, but Samus grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me backwards before I could fall in front of Dark Samus. Before I could fully comprehend it, I was being bridal-carried by the tall amazonian warrior.

“GIVE ME BACK MY PET!” Dark Samus screeched, charging forwards as a beam of blue surrounded us. “REN-RENNN!!!”

For a moment I thought we were being sent to a match, but once the teleportation was complete I could see that we’d been beamed into Samus’ ship.

Without wasting a beat we flew away from the forest, leaving Dark Samus in the dust.

I was placed down in a comfy chair that somehow deployed a safety blanket as soon as I was in it. I appreciated it, I’m still feeling rather twitchy from all the craziness that just went down in the last few minutes. The quiet of the ship as we orbited the skyline felt so much more poignant. I sat there, watching as the mansion passed by below me, all while Samus had moved on to a different part of her ship to work on something.

She returned with a cup of coffee and her helmet removed, showing off her soft smile.

“You alright, kid? You’re safe on my ship, don’t worry,” she said, sipping her own coffee, “I’m Samus by the way. What’s your name?”

I had to remind myself that I’d been to ‘space’ before.

Okumura’s Big Bang Palace had also been a space station, orbiting the fake Earth. Just like I was in a Metaverse version of Samus Aran’s ship right now… probably.

I’m saying this because otherwise I was an actual fucking astronaut. The little guy from Japan that got imprisoned for trying to stand up against a bald rich man in a suit, flying above the globe in a futuristic space ship, getting to see the stars in all their majesty… though it’d probably be more poignant if I wasn’t still topless.

Samus had saved me from her evil yandere clone. I’d introduced myself, explained who I was and where I was from, and she seemed happy enough that I was safe. Samus apologised that her clone did what it did to me, and said she’d be happy to show me a nicer part of the galaxy, which I couldn’t exactly say no to, could I?

Apparently we could have teleported there with one of the warp stations near the mansion, but we both agreed the scenic route would be nice. Hence the sights of space I got to experience on our way to watch a ‘Big Blue’ race.

The journey would take about an hour. I was still wearing my space blanket and drinking my space coffee as the smooth ride continued onwards.

Samus was just resting in the captain’s seat, idly driving as a badass woman of few words. Still wearing the majority of her power suit, though I got to have a decent look at that beautiful face of hers. How someone like this could go through saving the galaxy, battling giant dragons and pirates, and yet still look like the hottest, glamour model of all time is-

“Thought you wanted to admire the view?”

I blinked as she turned to look at me, a lowered eyebrow that made me quickly look away, “S-sorry…”

“That was your chance to say ‘I am’.” she smirked, shaking her head a few times, “Blew the line, Ren.”

I sat down next to her, smiling back at the joke, “I’ll flirt better next time. Though I appreciate any tips.” she smirked and gave me a nod, leaving us once more in a comfy silence for a few moments.

Interrupted by another ship flying right by the window.

“Woah!” I marvelled at the angular spacecraft. The way it barrel-rolled around Samus’ ship, doing small drifting manoeuvres in space before rocketing forwards into the distance of space was cool to see so close up. “Who was that?”

Samus didn’t seem as impressed by the display, “Falco. Show-off.”

She may have seen it all before, but my eyes couldn’t stop being beholden to the majesty of it all as I stared out the window, “Man… I can’t wait to tell Skull about all the crazy stuff I’ve seen…”

I could feel her slightly mocking smirk on my back, “You talk to skulls?”

“No, he’s my best friend. The Phantom Thieves have codenames based on our outfits, mine is Joker, his is Skull.” I explained. “There’s also Fox, Mona, Queen, Noir, Panther, and Oracle. She’s so going to lose it when I tell her I flew in Samus’ ship, hehe.”

Weirdly, Samus seemed to grow a little colder as the list of names went on. “Big team. Sure you have a lot of girls waiting for you back home. Lucky guy.”

“Huh? Uh, yeah, I mean… they were acting weird before I left, but I don’t think they’re actually into me. We’re more a team of friends on a mission.”

“Mm, it’s cute.” she said, a smile returning to her face. I’m so bad at knowing when people are flirting with me man, it sucks. “So the names come from your outfits. What would mine be then? Cannon?”

“Your codename? Hm… knowing the way that our discussions usually go, we’d go back and forth on a few options. Panther would suggest something cute like ‘Starshine’, Fox would go too artsy like ‘Nebulous Crimson’, Oracle would say something no one would understand like ‘Justin Bailey’, I’d think about suggesting something funny like ‘Bird Lady’, before we’d probably get reigned in by Queen and call you ‘Hunter’ or something.”

Luckily she seemed amused by my antics, “I can get behind Hunter. Queen sounds like a smart girl.”

“Yeah… you’d probably get along,” I admitted, suddenly feeling a little sad I couldn’t actually introduce them to each other. The vastness of space does sort of make one realise how much you miss home. “Maybe one day…”

Samus seemed to sense my drop in mood and was the one to change the subject. “You got in last night, right? Met anyone other than my clone?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Before they got called away I was with Lucina and Wii Fit Trainer.”

“Mm. That trainer is one tasty dish.”

“Don’t I know it,” I nodded emphatically. Hopefully after we get back to the mansion she’ll be done with her fight. “I also bumped into some princesses.”

“Mushroom princesses or Hylian princesses?”

“Mushroom.” I said. After a few beats I realised what the question was implying. “Wait, Hylian princesses, plural? Is there more than one Zelda in the tournament or is Midna here too?”

“Both. There's something around ten Zeldas here.” she said.

“Wow, ten?” I asked. “I knew they added like three Links, but still... Have they added a girl Link yet? That was something Panther kept asking about.”

She began pressing a few buttons on her console before a floating list of names appeared in front of me. “Let's cut out the middle man, here’s the fighter list. Always good to keep tabs on who I’m going to be in a tournament with.”

I scanned the list. Out of vanity I mostly just wanted to see if Samus had my name, but she didn't. Guess even she has a somewhat incomplete record. After that I confirmed the fourth Link, multiple Zeldas, only one Ganondorf... and then a lot of people I didn't know. If I’d known I would be fighting in it I’d have paid more attention to the Smash Bros roster when I got to play it at Ann’s house. Some of these names only seem vaguely familiar to me… like who the fuck is ‘Simon’? Is that just some guy? Was he even here to fight, or just like be another hot guy for these olympians to fuck? He might be some legendary breeder with a long lineage for all I knew…

In fact, for all I know again, this isn’t even a 1:1 copy of the game. This multiversal tournament could just resemble Smash, and I’m just assuming shit about it based on my bad memory. I definitely don’t think they added ten different Zeldas to the game… unless they’re all alternate outfits or something, I don’t know.

“Yeah, there’s tons of people I haven’t met…” I admitted to Samus. The roster really did seem vast when they’re all just in a list here. “Who is ‘Isabelle’?”

Samus took a quick drink of her coffee, “Isabelle is a mayoral secretary.”

“Oh,” I said with a blink. Doesn’t sound like much of a fighter. Is the mayor from like Doom or something? Or is it just one of the calmer Nintendo games I don’t play much? …or is it that she’s brought in to be the female version of Simon? A sexy secretary lady for the Olympians to mess around with? “Is she also a… ‘tasty dish’?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t crossing any lines.

Samus chuckled at my question, “If you like canines.”

“What?” Like she owns a lot of-?

“She’s a dog.”

“Ah.” I cringed at myself, hoping Samus wasn’t judging me too harshly. I may look at Ann’s ass a lot when she’s dressed as a cat, but I swear I’m not a furry! “To be fair she could be like… one of those anime girls that just have vague dog features, right? Otherwise I retract my dish comment…”

“I’m just teasing you, Ren. She’s hot.” said Samus, shaking her head with a smirk.

“...cool.” I said, returning my embarrassed gaze to the list.

How did I even get to this conversation, man? I swear my libido needs to chill out. The aches I’m feeling down there usually only come around when we do a week long Palace stint and I haven’t had a chance to drain the hog. Not ‘just fucked two women and an alien’ levels.

Samus flicked her gaze over to me with a knowing look. She’s the smartest bounty hunter in the galaxy, of course she could tell if I was just being a horny loser. I sighed, “It’s not my fault… There’s just so many hot girls here already! Are you telling me… ‘Wendy’ isn’t some hot piece of ass?”

“Wendy is a 3 foot turtle.”

“...okay, but what about ‘Nana’?! That sounds like some tall milfy girl!”

“One out of two,” she replied with a small chuckle under her breath, seemingly enjoying my weird obsession. “Anyone else on there catch your fancy?”

I scanned the list with a playful scratch of the chin, “Hmm… this ‘Samus Aran’... now THAT lady sounds hot!”

“So I’ve heard,” she said, giving me a nod, “Didn’t blow the line that time.”

“I do what I can.” I shrugged happily.

My charm stat must be through the roof in this world! Never thought I’d be this good at casual flirting with a 10/10 like Samus. Still, I doubted that she was the ‘olympics’ type like some of the others. The loner bounty hunter is unlikely to be as horny on main as the other girls, unless she has some vibration functions in that suit I don’t know about.

To be honest, while I know a lot about video game Samus, I don’t really know her as a person that well. Some weird comments by Dark Samus made me think about what Samus even was. Which part of her timeline are we? If there’s a bunch of Zeldas this could be early Samus for all I know. She knows who Dark Samus is so that’s unlikely… I really shouldn’t be using incomplete game knowledge for this, she’s right there. We still have a while to go, may as well just ask.

“Hey, any chance I can ask you some stuff?”

“Chance away.” she replied.

“Umm… best planet you’ve ever visited?”

“Petrotera. Hot springs planet.”

“Toughest fight you ever won?”

“Ridley.”

“...which time?”

“Every time.” she replied coldly, clenching her controls tighter.

Jesus, avoid that topic Ren, you idiot. Must be later in the timeline if they’ve fought repeatedly though. After Fusion?

“What’s it like being, like, part-Chozo, and now part-Metroid?”

Samus frowned, once more shooting an eyebrow at me as she waited to answer. After a little assessment of my intentions I assume she answered, “Same gig as it’s always been. I’m still me, no matter what the DNA says I am.” she said, once more turning back to space, “You seem to know a lot about me, Ren Amamiya.”

“Yeah, sorry. In my world your adventures are told through video games, and I got kind of obsessed with playing some of yours.”

I think the concept has been shared around, because Samus accepted the answer pretty quickly. Though she wasn’t fully stoked on it either, “Hmm. They better not have shown you everything.”

“Hehe, n-nah. They’re usually just your action packed missions.” I said, pretending my hand was her gun and pewing a few times as a demonstration. “Not like down time stuff.”

She reached forwards and pet her dashboard, “Been needing some new upgrades for my girl. Think I’ll get any royalties from those ‘video games’?”

“Uhh,” knowing Nintendo? I don’t know, they’d just think she’s some cosplayer… but still, she is Samus. “Who could say no to you?”

With a shrug she turned back to the space in front of us, “Hmm. Any other questions about my biology you wanna ask?”

“Kinda.” I admitted, earning me my third eyebrow in as many minutes. “Sorry! I just… Dark Samus kept talking about how the biology she cloned from you was driving her to act all… sexual towards me. I guess I-”

“I get it. Just ask so we can get past this.”

I nodded. This was awkward, but maybe I could understand her clone a bit better if I know the facts. Dark Samus was gonna be staying in the same mansion as me, after all. “Okay. How do Metroids reproduce?”

“There’s a queen that lays eggs,” said Samus.

“Right right,” I think I remember that boss fight, “And the Chozo?”

“Eggs, no queen.”

“Hmm…” I hmmed, scratching at my chin in thought. “Doesn’t fully explain her attitude though… it was like she was thrown into heat or something. I guess maybe between human-like, bird-like, jellyfish-like, and insect-like DNA all mixing together, that stuff like breeding cycles would go crazy… creating some kind of intense heat periods?” I hypothesised, Dark Samus may just be a **** to her own biology… “Hm. Maybe with a bit of space she’ll be more tsundere than yandere, eh?” I asked, seeing that Samus was just staring forwards. Wait. Dark Samus is a clone. “Hang on… would that heat cycle stuff affect you too?”

With a curt frown she nodded, “Mmhm.”

“Oh shit.”

Her grip seemed to tighten slightly on her ship’s controls. I may have touched a nerve. Mating cycles are no joke, especially if you don’t have a partner to help subdue the urges. And the Samus I know has always been a bit of a loner…

“That sounds rough, I’m sorry. You become part Metroid to save the day, then routinely get a biological urge to breed? I hope these big hand guys let you take your heat cycles off. When’s your next one, soon?”

“Very soon.” she said, lowering her head slightly so I couldn’t see her eyes behind her bangs. “Sorry Ren. I forgot what day it was… no wonder my clone was all over you…”

“I-EEP!”

She practically exploded out her Varia suit. The latches ejecting her out into her Zero Suit glory would have been one of the greatest moments of my life, seeing the curvy body of Samus Aran in real life… if only she wasn’t deep in the desires to be bred by the nearest piece of meat, me. The crazed look of hunger was not something I’d have expected from the calculating Samus, but the blush on her nose and drool leaking down her chin certainly painted one hell of an erotic picture.

“Oh crap! Samus Aran is in heat?!” I called out, looking around the ship for some sort of ‘break glass in case of horny’ sign, but to no avail. “What do I do?!”

“The only thing you can do… is coat my eggs until your balls are drained.”

I gulped, wincing as she lunged at me…

Only to find her not kissing me or anything of the sort. Instead she’d thrown herself to the back of the ship, typing something into the ship’s escape pod while she cradled her stomach.

“It would be hypocritical of me to save you from a Dark Samus fate then not give you a chance to run…” she said, panting every third word. With breath so hot it was steaming in the already warm ship. “Ren. If you need to run, run. Get in the escape pod.”

I hesitated for a moment, this woman saved my life! “But-!”

She raised her hand, “I appreciate it, but don’t stay on my account. I-I saw what you’re packing. I could really use a well hung man like you to scratch my itch, but only if you can handle me.”

…well, I mean, I did manage to handle two women already. And, like, Samus is looking at me so pleadingly despite her resolve. Those long legs of hers look ready to give out. I’ve never seen anything close to battle damage on that Zero Suit, yet she was leaking so much it looked like the poor woman had wet herself from need. The smell of her sex permeated so-

Oh fudge it, we all know what I’m going to say.

“Samus. I’m okay with it.”

“Thank fuck.”

She breathed a hearty sigh of relief. In that same breath the Zero Suit–the suit made from hard light energy designed to be a second skin to her–dematerialised in an instant. With almost no build up I was staring at a naked Samus that I didn’t even get to look at for long before she practically tackled me onto the floor of her ship.

Posted by u/Sakurais_Wife to r/smashbros

Why does nintendo always sexualise their characters so much?

Okay I know I'm probably gonna get downvoted to hell for this but I just have to get it off my chest. I've been a Smash fan since the beginning and I love this series to **** but the character designs in Ultimate are really starting to get out of hand. It feels like every other fighter is just an excuse to make another goddamn anime waifu.

Pyra and Mythra? Don't even get me started. Zero Suit? Like come on! Samus is one of the most badass characters in gaming. Why does she have that sleezy two piece with all that skin showing? Its just unnecessary.

But what's really been bothering me lately is how they handle some of the characters from the more quote unquote "innocent" franchises. Isabelle?! She's from Animal Crossing! A game about a human coming to a friendly village of ANIMALS. Why the fuck did New Leaf add a tall leggy human girl with dog ears and a tail that she keeps wagging when you make her happy? I mean, we all know why. It sold like crazy, but its just so weird for a usually wholesome game, you know? They took a cute concept of a dog assistant and made her into… that. Her new Smash victory animation where she stretches and her miniskirt flips up too far so you can see her panties is just uncomfortable. Could have added Tom Nook into smash, but no.

And don't even get me started on Nana from the Ice Climbers. In the original NES game Nana was CLEARLY the best character of the two. Popo is this short king climbing the elements, while Nana is a skimpy midriff bearing curvy woman. Nobody liked that P2 just got a total advantage. But now that their duo characters its totally insane. The height difference alone would be insane, but her bigger hurtbox makes Popo look extra useless when she dies! Why not just make them their own characters at that point. It looks like Popos being escorted to school by his ridiculously hot mom. At least its obvious that Nintendos always been pervy horndogs, but I seriously dont think Nana has a place in smash.

I'm not saying characters can't be attractive. But there's a line between 'attractive' and 'blatant fanservice'. Bayonetta, Palutena, Bowsette, however many fucking Zeldas… may as well just make a smash sisters at that point. I just wish they could focus on making cool, interesting characters without feeling the need to make every female fighter into a supermodel.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

------------

u/alibaba: shut up virgin

u/Phazon_Fiend23: I for one welcome our curvy Nana overlord.

u/GameDevWannabe: Oh great, another "think of the children" post. Bro, it's the year of our lord 20XX. Can we not? Girls can be hot. Just look at girl Link!

u/lezzilazmanos: God forbid a woman does anything.

u/doggywoggylover: I agree with OP. Isabelle made me a furry, and I blame Sakurai for bringing her huge mommy milkers to smash.

u/automod: {Post removed for irrelevance.}