You should have seen that girl go shaky at the knees

Neither Sylvia nor Dakota knew how to resolve the difficult position they found themselves in. Both women could tell that something had fundamentally shifted between them- but what that was seemed impossible to say.

All Sylvia knew was that when she looked at Dakota, after holding her close like that while the host broke down, that she saw the woman in a completely different light.

Dakota had always overwhelmed Sylvia, just by her mere existence. How could she not? The host had created her out of nothing, tasked her to be her perfect tool in furtherance of her plans. She was powerful, she was domineering, she was everything Sylvia had aspired to be. She looked up at Dakota with equal parts admiration and fear, and that had all felt nice and natural to her. And even when Dakota erased her from reality and brought her back, that feeling of admiration didn’t change.

Most people would let their fear overcome them at that point- or hatred. But Sylvia was different. Maybe something about her origins had resulted in her brain being wired wrong, but Dakota’s ****, while it hurt, had just felt like something to be expected. After all- she was Sylvia’s idol.

But now, Sylvia had seen Dakota in a different light. Her god had shed tears right before her eyes. She’d been bested. Beaten.

Amelia had told Sylvia once that every child someday reaches a point where they no longer see their parents as flawless, perfect beings, but as people. Well, Sylvia had never thought of Dakota as flawless. She’d known from very early on how many flaws and shortcomings her mother possessed, and had even exploited them in her time as a host.

But even through all of that, her opinion of Dakota had never fundamentally changed. Even with all her flaws, her creator- her mother- still stood as an unimpeachable figure of power in Sylvia’s eyes, someone who she aspired to be like.

Now though…

Now Sylvia saw her as a human. Maybe for the first time ever. It was like a veil had been lifted from her eyes, and all of a sudden the world before her was clear and obvious to the former host.

I was so **** to prove to Dakota that I was alive, that I was a person, before, Sylvia thought, remembering the worst day of her life with vivid agony. But it never even occurred to me… that I should have thought of her that way as well.

Sylvia had yielded to Dakota because of her weakness and doubt. Because some part of her believed, on a fundamental level, that Dakota was correct in all things and that she wasn’t a person. Dakota’s final argument… Sylvia had utterly failed to refute it, and thus, she had crumbled to dust.

But that had never been the case. Dakota- her mother- she was human, just like Sylvia. Flawed. Imperfect. ****.

Suffering.

Sylvia knew then and there that she would never see Dakota as some unreachable, divine entity of righteousness again. No, the woman in front of her was just that- a woman.

A smile slowly crept to her lips and she reached out her hand to take her mother’s, holding her tenderly even as Dakota stared at her in stunned confusion.

“It’s alright,” Sylvia said. “You can go now. You have a lot of work to get done, don’t you, Dakota? You need to make sure this next challenge is amazing.”

Dakota winced at her words. She made a face Sylvia had never seen from her before.

Her pale lips parted but they failed to form words. A shaky sigh escaped and that was that.

She pulled away from Sylvia. It wasn’t a calculated move; she yanked her hand away like a child touching a hot stove for the first time, stumbling backwards and nearly falling to the ground as she did. Her eyes watered as she looked at her creation with a warped expression of pain on her face, and her voice broke as she tried to speak.

“…Syyyyllvviiiiiiaaaaaaaa…” It came out as the croaking rasp of a shattered heart.

Sylvia’s eyes widened, not sure how to process Dakota’s cry. Her mouth struggled to make sounds as well. The two women just looked at one another, and no words passed between them. No words even occurred to them.

What stood out prominently to them both in that moment, could never be defined by something as simple as words.

Then, with the strength of Sisyphus rolling his boulder up the mountain, Dakota straightened her back and held her head up high, and looked into Sylvia’s eyes with a mournful gaze.

“I know I should leave,” she whispered, the most coherent statement she’d made in what felt like hours. She knew that she had to go, because every moment she stood in Sylvia’s presence it felt like more of herself was being eaten away, as if Sylvia was devouring her scrap by scrap until nothing of Dakota remained.

Why shouldn’t she?

She had so much experience with it, at this point. Running away from Amelia. From Mary. Trying to flee from Gina. Then Amelia and Mary again. Running, running, running. So many times now Dakota had fled when she could no longer confront the pain of her own existence.

So why couldn’t she do it now? Why weren’t her feet listening to her? Why, when it had been so easy all those other times, did she not just tap her cane and vanish into the eternity of the island once again?

“Dakota?” Sylvia could see the hesitation in Dakota’s eyes, but she had no idea what it meant. She could see the turmoil playing out across the host’s face, and could feel that she was responsible for it, but the details of the conflict remained a mystery to her, almost as much of a mystery as they were to Dakota herself.

But, as the agonizing seconds ticked on and Dakota continued to waste away, consumed from the inside, a fundamental truth that she couldn’t bring herself to accept continued to reveal itself.

Dakota didn’t want to go.

She wanted to go, but she didn’t want to go. Another absurd hypocrisy of her heart, a fundamental contradiction that presented itself yet again, spitefully mocking her like Mr. S’s tormenting laugher in her ears.

It shook her to her soul, like her answer to Amelia’s question, a revelation that felt like a lifetime ago, but was just days to a woman who had lived through an eternity of loneliness and torment.

Just as Dakota had been **** to acknowledge that she didn’t want Sylvia to leave her… now she was **** to acknowledge that she didn’t want to leave Sylvia, either.

Madness. Utter madness! Every second she stood in her creation’s presence she felt like she was losing herself a little bit more! All those things that made her Dakota, the loyal, determined host devoted to Nick’s happiness, they were all collapsing around her, eaten away by Sylvia’s expression of frantic concern.

It felt like the tapestry of Dakota’s very existence was coming apart at the seams, and while every part of her wanted to stop her destruction, she couldn’t do the one thing that would prevent it.

And Sylvia… Sylvia just stared at her, not knowing what to say. Not knowing how to reach her mother, how to comfort her… how to love her, the way she felt Dakota deserved to be loved.

She wanted to extend her hand again, to tell her that everything would be alright… but she couldn’t lie to her mother anymore. Not now. Not after she’d seen the sincerity on Dakota’s face.

So Sylvia stood there, frozen, and watched Dakota come to pieces before her eyes, crumbling into sand the way she herself had crumbled at Dakota’s own hand.

And then… it was done.

Dakota closed her eyes, and engulfed herself in the darkness. She clenched her teeth, she pictured Nick’s face, and put to work that indomitable, unstopped **** of will she possessed, the overpowering determination that had kept her sane in those long years of isolation on her island prison.

She grabbed the fraying strands of her existence and pulled them back, forcing her crumbling soul to rebuild itself one cell at a time. With Nick as her guiding star she used her powers as the host to resculpt her existence just as she’d reshaped the Harem Hotel in her image.

Sylvia took a step back as the whole island seemed to tremble. She could feel the abundance of power radiating from Dakota in the way that only someone who had tasted that power for themselves could understand.

The rest of the island felt a faint shudder, barely a 2.0 earthquake on the Richter Scale.

Nola nearly pissed her panties with terror, falling over with a yelp.

And then… it was done.

Dakota opened her eyes once again, and they glimmered with a radiant golden glow. With a sigh she reached up and swept her sweat-drenched hair out of her eyes, fixing her fringe back into place, and as her fingers passed over her sticky ebony bangs, they cleaned themselves up.

In a matter of moments Dakota looked like she’d just stepped out of a salon. Her pale complexion glowed in the sunlight, and her fair lips parted in a thin smile as she raised her head, and looked Sylvia in the eyes.

Sylvia swallowed, unable to read her mother’s expression. Her heart pounded in her chest as Dakota’s lips opened wider in proclamation, and she awaited her mother’s words with bated breath.

“Thank you, Sylvia.”

Three words Sylvia wasn’t sure she’d ever heard from her mother in conjunction before.

“H-huh?”

“I was lost,” Dakota said, stepping forward. She radiated newfound confidence like she’d just emerged from a nuclear reactor. Her fingers kissed against Sylvia’s cheek as she cradled her creation’s face. “But I found myself again.”

Sylvia was happy for her mother, she really was. The pleasure in Dakota’s voice reflected the joy she saw in her creator’s eyes.

But for herself… she was less certain.

What did Dakota mean by “finding herself”? That was a statement with a thousand meanings, and Sylvia was not sure any of them were good.

“…Yay?” Sylvia squeaked.

The smile immediately vanished from Dakota’s face and she dropped her hand. “No,” Dakota chastised her sharply, shaking her head. “Not ‘yay’.”

“…Not yay?” Sylvia was only getting more confused- and anxious- with each passing second.

Dakota shook her head again. “You should be upset,” she rebuked her creation sharply, crossing her arms over her chest. “In what sense is finding myself again a good thing for you, Sylvia? Shouldn’t you be concerned that I would resume tormenting you once more?!”

Sylvia gulped. “B-but… you’re happy now, right? Before, you were being kind of scary… and now you’re just being a bitch. So, like… that’s pretty normal, right?”

Dakota gave her a sulky look.

“I see, so you’re just trying to piss me off, is that it?” She snapped.

Sylvia shrugged. “I just want to see you happy,” she cooed, batting her eyelashes at her mother. “And it seems like you can only be happy when you’re picking on somebody, and since that somebody’s usually me…”

“That’s not true!” Dakota protested like a child. “I torment more people than just you! …Wait, that’s not what I… I meant, I can be happy without tormenting people, Sylvia! Watch your tone!”

“Or what?” Sylvia stuck her tongue out and placed her hands on her hips. “I’m not scared of you, I’ve got Daddy on my side! You won’t do anything to me as long as he’s here, looking out for his favorite little girl!”

Sylvia could feel the change in Dakota’s demeanor, and it filled her chest with confidence. Now that Dakota no longer seemed to be moments away from a breakdown every minute of the day, Sylvia felt comfortable taunting her again.

Oh, how she’d missed this feeling! Even if only served to enrage the host further.

“You’re a spoiled little brat, you know that?” Dakota seethed, clenching her cane tightly as her lips morphed into a furious smile. “It seems like all those lessons I gave you not to taunt your betters have been completely forgotten-!”

“Well, you were a shitty mom, so of course I wouldn’t learn my lessons!” Sylvia fired back, galvanized by Dakota’s juvenile response. The anger was different now, less venomous. It felt almost like the good old days. Before Dakota reclaimed her position as host.

Only now, Sylvia wasn’t trying to earn her mother’s favor or impress her. She was her own woman now, and she was saying all the things she’d always wanted to say.

“You’re right, I was definitely a terrible mother to you,” Dakota agreed without hesitation. The admission left Sylvia momentarily stunned. She looked at Dakota with wide eyes, not sure what to say for a moment.

Dakota seemed uncertain of how to proceed, either. Hesitation broke across her face for a moment, like she hadn’t intended to say that specifically but she could no longer take it back.

“…So where do we go from here?” Sylvia finally asked, breaking the silence. Something in their relationship had fundamentally shifted, and it frightened her. Before, she knew where she stood with Dakota, and that gave her a sense of stability. But now it was as if the ground beneath her feet had been turned into sand, and she wasn’t sure how to proceed. One wrong step and everything could crumble beneath her.

“You don’t ever have to forgive me,” Dakota said bluntly, shaking her head. She tightened her grip on her cane. “The way I treated you is beyond forgiveness. And I have no intention of pleading for it. Perhaps, I should apologize… that would be the decent thing to do, would it not?”

Sylvia winced.

“…But why should I?” Dakota asked. She stepped forward. “Because I hurt you? Because I treated you so terribly? I should apologize to you, shouldn’t I? Get down on my knees, lower my head to the ground, and beg for your forgiveness like a dog?”

Well… Sylvia didn’t think she had to go that far. Was an “I’m sorry” really too much for Dakota, though?!

“I’ll acknowledge I wronged you,” Dakota admitted. I wronged you more than you could ever know, she silently added, as the truth she’d arrived at played out in her mind.

To rebuild herself, Dakota had been **** to acknowledge that fundamental truth that she had struggled for such a long time to deny.

Dakota loved her daughter.

She couldn’t keep rejecting it. In her fervor to deny that side of herself, she had nearly ripped her very soul apart and crumbled away. And the only way for her to move forward at this point was to accept what she had tried so very hard to reject all this time.

Dakota loved her daughter… and she had denied Sylvia that love. And why? Because of some childish notion that loving Sylvia was a betrayal of Nick.

I should have accepted it a long time ago. Hating Sylvia in order to keep myself from loving her… Nick would have never wanted that from me. He wouldn’t have cared if I broke my promise. If I loved her more than I loved him. He would have been happy for me.

Dakota could have loved Sylvia. All this time, she could have, and she’d refused because she was stubborn. Because she was a child.

And now it was too late.

As she looked at Sylvia’s sulky expression, the young girl obviously frustrated at Dakota’s stubborn refusal to apologize, Dakota felt all the more confident that she was making the right decision here, for Sylvia’s sake.

After all, what would an apology even accomplish? What would begging for forgiveness matter? I denied her a mother’s love because of a childish temper tantrum, an act of spiteful **** for making me feel guilty.

Yes, Dakota was a terrible mother and would have to live with that fact. But she didn’t need to make that Sylvia’s burden.

Dakota’s apology would only be yet another act of selfishness. A plea for Sylvia’s forgiveness solely to make herself feel better about how she’d treated her creation- her daughter- so she could salve her broken heart and feel like less of a monster.

Dakota didn’t have much experience with apologies, but she knew that an apology should be for the sake of the wronged party, not to make the guilty party feel better about themselves.

She didn’t deserve to feel better about herself.

No, what Sylvia needed…

“I messed up. But I won’t beg to you,” Dakota asserted, holding her head up high with her usual pompous arrogance. “I’m sorry if that bothers you, Sylvia, but that’s life. If you’re going to hold a grudge, feel free. You’re definitely owed it.”

Sylvia barely heard her. She was too busy trying to understand what that look in Dakota’s eyes meant. She struggled to figure out what had changed about her mother, and why she was saying such uncharacteristic things to her.

Forget the apologies, Sylvia didn’t care about that!

But Dakota acknowledging that she’d done something wrong? The closest the woman had ever come to that was when she’d said making Sylvia had been a mistake! And when that was the only item on her track record, Sylvia could be forgiven for being utterly flabbergasted by her mother’s unnatural declaration.

“I… I don’t need an apology,” Sylvia said, shaking her head. “I just want…”

What did Sylvia want?

“…I just want us to get along,” she said, extending a hopeful hand to her mother. “I won’t forget everything that happened… I can’t. But we can move past it together, don’t you think, mom?” She asked, her eyes watering with her plea.

Move past her mother’s mistakes. Accept them for what they were, internalize what she felt, and proceed with their lives.

Couldn’t Sylvia and Dakota do that?

Couldn’t they get along, even if not as parent and child?

Dakota’s face morphed into a look of derision. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed, shaking her head. “Move past it? What a farce. Don’t think it’s possible for you and I to ever get along, you presumptuous child.”

And with that she turned and stormed away, finally free from her chains and able to leave her daughter’s side, ignoring the girl’s exasperation at her mother’s stubbornness.

Get along? Certainly not. You foolish girl.

All “getting along” would accomplish would be letting Dakota off the hook for her actions. Just another trick to make herself feel better about what she’d done. As if Dakota deserved something so sweet as a salve.