Arithmetic

Defia paced the floor of her cabin. This was a clear waste of energy, she knew. In theory, she should have shifted to a low power mode while awaiting the designated time for her interaction with the prime unit. But, somehow, moving helped her to maintain a state of moderate calm in her emotional simulations, and so she paced. The alternative - turning off her emotions - was not viable, not when she was finally feeling.

Most of the reason for her tenuous grasp on calm was down to the fact that this was the fifth day since she had announced her desire to join Dustin’s lovers; in the days in between she had spent time with several existing members of his harem, including a wonderful afternoon discussing fusion injectors with Rye, and a highly confusing morning exploring biological culinary practices with Naera. The chef had been on edge the entire time, but seemed to have relaxed when Defia had joined her in laughter at the poor state of the rogue Fractal’s baking.

Pausing in her pacing, Defia mused on that. Naera had been quite clear - “baking is science, so it should be easy for you” - and then when the cakes had turned out looking like paving slabs, the Caenii woman had been unable to prevent herself from giggling. “How… how do you of all people fail to follow the recipe exactly?” the plant woman had wheezed in between bouts of laughter, her giggles proving infectious. Defia wasn’t sure if she’d succeeded in getting Naera to like her, but if nothing else at least she did now have a positive memory of the pair of them sprawled on the floor laughing while the brick-like attempt at baking sat cooling slowly on it’s tray between them.

No, that had gone well, she was sure of it. The issue now was that she was the second of the trio of applicants to spend time with Dustin, and she was pretty sure judging by conversations that she had totally not eavesdropped on, and microscopic shifts in body language from both the prime unit and the others that she had definitely not analyzed (as doing both of those things would be highly invasive to the privacy of her fellow crew) that Aricia’s date had gone very well.

Biting her lip, she didn’t even bother turning at the end of her next pace, just reflowing her body so that she was facing back the way she came before starting to stalk off across the floor once more. It would be fine. All she had to do was convince a bunch of biological lifeforms that she was not just acceptable as a colleague but as a lover, despite her species being responsible for multiple horrific crimes against biological life. And ensure that the prime unit would be happy with her. And… She paused, falling face-first onto her bed and letting out a low whine; she’d noticed that voicing frustration into her soft furnishings sometimes also helped with stress. This time, it did.

Dustin paused outside Defia’s door. He’d arrived a quarter hour early - should he call through, or should he just wait…? As he deliberated, the door slid open with a hiss, the rogue Fractal standing right in front of him on the far side. “Statement. I appreciate that you are significantly early. Enquiry… do you think the others will mind if I am cheeky and take the additional fourteen minutes and fifty-one seconds of your monopolized time?”

It took him a moment to work out what she’d asked, then Dustin grinned. “I think the others will be fine with us ending our… date, I guess these all are? Our date, at the planned time. Just because I got here early doesn’t mean I also now need to leave early.”

The rogue Fractal nodded. “Statement. I have analysed a significant amount of data on human mating rituals. I then decided to ignore a significant percentage as firstly I am not human, and secondly your stated objective today is ‘getting to know me’. This is problematic, as until separation from my prior cluster, I did not have a significant ‘me’ for you to get to know. To that end, I have produced an optimized routine that I believe will allow you to better understand ‘me’ as I am now. We begin this way.”

Defia took off down the corridor, Dustin having to scurry to keep up. “Statement. Itinerary stop number one. Main engineering.”

The engineering bays were as hot and noisy as ever. The addition of a significant number of people besides Rye working in industrial conditions had done little for either aspect; Defia strode through with only slightly less confidence than the head engineer usually exhibited in her domain. As she went, the rogue Fractal waved or smiled periodically to various technicians who paused their work to nod in her and Dustin’s direction.

“Statement. You wish to understand me, so we should start from the basics.” She paused in front of one of Sola’s massive reactors. “I begin as machine. Logic, processes. Silicates and electricity in the place of carbon and blood. From there, I develop. Observe.” She held out a hand, and the surface bubbled up into increasingly complex molecules, then small oozlings, tiny models of Fractal drones and eventually a model of Defia herself. “I begin as machine, but I am no longer just a machine. This reactor does not have friends. I… feel, that I have friends here.”

One of the nearby techs gave a snort from where he was working on repairing one of Sola’s many transport drones. “You better have friends here red-eyes, ‘cos otherwise I owe you about a months worth of wages for that painting you did of my wife. Barely made it to my shift on time the day I gave it to her, woman was so delighted with the thing.”

Defia turned and smiled; Dustin realized with a start that she’d been doing so repeatedly ever since they’d reached engineering. The rogue Fractal never normally smiled when the general crew were around - despite all her work with emotions, her mouth remained far too creepy and her teeth way too sharp for the average crewman to handle.

“Statement. You are too kind, unit Craig. Apologies, but I cannot stay and chat. Dustin, if you do not mind, we need to progress to itinerary stop number two. We will take the turbolift.” Defia took his hand as she lead him out of engineering, while Dustin processed the fact that she seemed to have genuinely made friends among the tech staff.

Their next destination was the observation deck. Sola had just completed a short-hop weave jump and they were coasting across the orbit of a gas giant on the way to their onward transit point. Pausing in front of the huge window, Defia waved vaguely outward at the planet and it’s distant star in the background. “Statement. From my moment of disconnection from the cluster, I began to change. By the time you found me, Dustin, I was almost fully shutdown. You restored me to functionality, whether intentionally or not. Even without the changes I have undertaken to better integrate with our cluster, I have been able to see things differently. Please allow me to demonstrate.”

The rogue fractal held out a hand, frowning with concentration as it flowed into the form of a pair of glasses. “If you do not mind looking through me, I will attempt to show you a little of how I see the cosmos.”

Dustin leaned forward, peering into the void of Defia’s palm - before suddenly the void rippled and he was staring at the planet beneath them in overlapping layers of colour and light. Defia was clearly adjusting her visual range down into a spectrum he could see to let him perceive her sight, but even so… The gas giant wasn’t just a swirling ball of gasses through her eyes, it was alive with patterns; emissions outside the human visual range danced across the surface, while the rogue Fractal’s electrical senses picked up the dancing forks of lightning forming in the storms that boiled deeper in the atmosphere. Pulling back, Dustin blinked before turning to Defia with marvel in his eyes. “It’s… beautiful.”

Defia tilted her head. “Statement. I… did not perceive it as such until my emotional simulations began to function. But even before then, I recognized that patterns were worth preserving. We should go to itinerary point three.”

Once more, Dustin allowed himself to be led along the corridors - this time to a storeroom not far from Defia’s quarters. “Statement. I requested the use of this space to store finished paintings. It also houses the painting I am struggling the most with.” She gestured to the wall panel rather than touching it as anyone else on the crew would need to in order to gain access, the door sliding open to reveal a gallery of sorts.

Pictures of plants, planets and people were stacked haphazardly against the walls. In contrast to everything else the rogue Fractal did, here there was chaos - up to and including the large canvas sat in the middle of the room, which… Dustin paused. “Is that a self-portrait?” he asked, studying the unfinished piece.

“Statement. It is intended to be. I am struggling with accurately depicting myself. That is to say, I am able to accurately replicate my physical form via my canvas, but does it truly depict ‘me’? It is an ongoing project. This is attempt thirty-seven; attempts one through thirty-six are stacked at the back. I am… aware of my imperfections, and am trying to follow them to see who I am.” Defia’s words were oddly unsure as she stared distantly at the unfinished artwork, before shaking her head in a very human manner. “Statement. This tour was intended to show you how I came to be what I am now - or how I perceive myself. We have a little more time than expected due to your early arrival, so please observe the art if you wish before we return to my quarters for the final itinerary point.”

Dustin did as she suggested - before following her back to her room with a lot on his mind. The rogue Fractal was far more complex a person than he’d previously registered; even without her emotional synthesis. At her door, she paused. “Sola, as previously discussed, disable all privacy settings for my chamber for the remainder of my allocated time with Dustin.” Turning, she smiled at him. “Statement. I was informed by the other women that due to my… condition, they trust me not to attempt to ‘seduce’ you when we are in my quarters. Regardless, I will allow them to remotely monitor if they wish.”

Stepping inside, she gestured to the immaculately made bed. “Please sit. For the final segment of our date, I would like to attempt a traditional human mating ritual; we are going to watch a film. Rather, I would appreciate you watching it with me; I can multitask, and would like to paint you while we watch.” In reply, Dustin nodded and sat on the bed, while Defia fussed around to ensure he was comfortable. After doing so, she pulled up an old Earth classic on the screen, sat next to him with her canvas on her knees, and began to sketch out her painting.

Time flew by - Defia’s choice of a film about a man meeting a woman who came from a very different background but never the less fell in love with her was quite clearly intended as a bit of ham-fisted messaging, but it was a fun movie to watch even if it was practically prehistoric given it’s release in the early 1990s. Watching a fifty-something year old film distracted Dustin enough that he was surprised when Defia held out her canvas as the credits rolled. “It will need time to dry. But it will be a gift - how I see you, Dustin,” she said softly - and Dustin’s heart caught in his throat as he looked at a painting of himself, Defia’s overlaid vision worked in oils so that he looked like he had a halo of light and veins of gold.