She lives in the place in the side of our lives where nothing is ever put straight

Everyone reacted with surprise at Dakota offering to let Emmy have her own room. She didn’t even try to haggle or negotiate out any benefits for herself. No, she’d just accepted Emmy’s request without issue.

It was the kind of response that left everyone feeling nervous. Especially when Dakota disappeared a second later with a tap of her cane.

“Come back to the Banquet Hall around lunchtime,” she said, popping back into the room. “We can work out the details then. In the meantime… I have other things to do.”

Carly and Marley both suspected that Dakota was giving them the runaround, or at least setting things up to suit her own ends later. Neither of them believed it was a coincidence that Dakota would leave them hanging like that.

Even though this time, she wasn’t playing any games. She didn’t have any issue at all with giving Emmy her own room.

No… the reason she’d left the Banquet Hall was completely unrelated.

The fact was… Dakota needed to be alone with her thoughts.

It should have been quite simple given her dominion over the whole island. With a flick of her cane she could be anywhere she wished; deep down below in the grotto Serenity had made her home, or up on the peak of the mountain Gina had tossed Dani off of.

But in practice…

Gina… so that’s what you decided to go with? Even though Dakota could do most anything she chose to occupy her thoughts, watch any move her heart desired, there was only one thing that compelled her actions right now.

Spying on Nick and Gina’s date.

Some might call it childish, but it was Dakota’s prerogative as the host to observe and report on the activities of the master and the women he was courting. There was nothing to be ashamed of at all for following the two of them on their date together and seeing how they were getting along.

…Assuming Dakota was being sincere in her motives and only watching through the lens of a concerned host.

As anyone could tell you, that was very much not the case.

“Hey Dakota! What are you doing?” Nola popped into the room with a bright expression on her face. “You watching a movie? Oh, wait, you’re watching Nick’s date, I see! Yeah, it looks like it’s going great! Don’t those two look so cute together? I think they look so cute together! Although I bet they’re not as cute as me. Well, maybe Gina is, in that dress. I wouldn’t say pink is necessarily her color, but it sure is nice! At least I think so, anyway. You know, because of my pink hair? I don’t think Gina would look good with pink hair, personally, but I don’t think she’d look bad with it. What do you think? Gina with pink hair, yes or-”

“Nola,” Dakota sharply interrupted the rambling leprechaun. Nola snapped her lips shut and stiffened up straight, eyes wide as Dakota coolly turned her gaze towards her.

She just stared at the leprechaun coldly until Nola scrambled off, mumbling something about needing to help Mary.

Good girl.

Dakota sighed and slumped back in her seat. It seemed that even when she wanted to be alone she couldn’t get so lucky. An unfortunate reality of being herself.

Gina wasn’t sure what to expect from Nick’s date proposal. After all, he’d built this date up pretty big so far; she wanted to meet his expectations (she’d gotten a new dress and everything!) but what was Nick planning for the two of them to do today?

Anything she could think of were just activities that she already liked doing herself. That was the tricky part here.

So what would a guy like Nick even think a romantic date would entail? She questioned as they left the café. Nick had been unusually cagey about their destination. Even before coming to this island, I wasn’t exactly the girl people dated. Usually I’d skip all that nonsense and just go straight to the sex, unless we wanted to go to a party or a bar first.

Her experiences with men weren’t exactly the best. Maybe that’s why I’m so apprehensive about this whole “sincere date” thing, she considered, biting her lip. I’ve been with a lot of stinkers. Shitty guys who only cared about using me to get off. But this… this is the first time that someone’s really cared about me.

It was hard to imagine. But it really shouldn’t have been. Gina’s **** to be with Nick stemmed from her own doubts and insecurities. She was perceptive enough to understand that much, at least. Guys don’t usually treat me like this. And Nick, he’s always telling me that I’m worth it, but… that doesn’t mean I know what to do. What if I’m not good enough? There are other women in his life that he could be really happy with… I know I want to be one of them, but… I don’t know how.

Most people probably thought that Gina was scared of a relationship beyond the surface level, or that she felt she wasn’t good enough for Nick, or that she was trying to run away from something real because it was too difficult for her.

Truthfully… she just didn’t know how to make a date like this work. While she was usually a pretty passive person who just went with the flow, when there was something that she really wanted she would set her mind to it and try to actually achieve her goals. She could be pretty determined in fact, with the right motivation.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t good enough right now. Because she didn’t know how to be the kind of girl Nick deserved.

He just wants me to be myself because that’s who he likes. Me. But what… what kind of girl does he deserve? She questioned. Who should I try to be… for his sake?

That was the question that left her feeling stuck, like she didn’t know how to move past where she was right now.

Gina could reach out and take his hand… but her doubts kept her from doing that.

“Hey…”

Gina flinched when she saw Nick turn to her, concern blazing in his eyes. She stiffened up straight and her cheeks turned pink. All the while, she tried not to let her embarrassment show on her face.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked. “You’ve been really quiet since we left the café.”

Gina’s eyes widened. “Oh! Y-yeah, of-of course I’m okay!” She said, nodding. “Why do you think I wouldn’t be okay?” A shaky smile that wasn’t nearly as casual as she would have liked jumped up onto her face. It started twitching.

“Okay, good,” Nick said, relaxing a little. He could tell that Gina looked nervous- he wasn’t an idiot.

But… that was fine.

He could work with nervous.

“In that case…”

Before Gina could react, he reached out and wrapped his hand around hers. The handcuff on her wrist jangled and Gina’s whole arm went stiff. Her eyes widened with shock and her mouth dropped open, and she stared at Nick in stunned confusion.

“N-Nick!” She stuttered, immediately feeling like pulling her hand away but refraining from doing so out of consideration for his feelings. Instead she just stared at him, her mouth hanging open so wide bugs might fly into it.

“What?” Nick asked with a coy smile, relaxing a little when she didn’t immediately yank her hand away. “We’re supposed to be on a date, right?” He pointed out. “Can’t a guy walk hand in hand with a girl he’s going out with? That’s pretty standard, Gina.”

Her face burned. Who did he think he was fooling? She knew for a fact that he’d never been on any real dates since coming to the island, whereas she… she’d done all sorts of stuff with plenty of guys before! If they were comparing experience…

…

But…

Gina didn’t have experience with a relationship like this one, that was the thing. The guys she used to get with, they weren’t the type who would hold a girl’s hand. And they certainly weren’t the type to check and make sure she was okay with it.

But… Nick was.

He was being gentle with her. Tender. Treating her like a real girlfriend, as if that was what he wanted from her.

It was an experience that was wholly alien to a girl whose only experiences with men was being passed around like a party favor between a bunch of faceless dudes, just focusing on the pleasure in order to drown out her pain.

Gina noticed her vision was starting to get blurry. As she met Nick’s eyes she saw his face morphing into an expression of worry that was slowly getting harder to make out clearly. “N-Nick…”

“Hey, are… are you okay?” Nick’s voice had a note of panic in it and he squeezed her hand tighter. “Gina?”

If Gina could see her own face, she would have seen tears rolling down her cheeks. As it stood now, though, the only thing she could see was her own doubt and shame, as she found herself on the receiving end of more kindness than she knew what to do with. It was sweet, and it was wonderful… and it was something she wished she could share back with him.

The warmth of his hand around hers… it made her feel safe and cared for in a way that she’d never thought she deserved. And she wanted so desperately to return the favor and give Nick the same wonderful feeling she was getting from him… but she didn’t know how to do that.

She wasn’t sure she could.

Not knowing what else to do and not wanting Nick to think that she wasn’t overwhelmed with gratitude for all the care he was showing her, Gina just let her body move on autopilot. She moved forward with a suddenness that surprised Nick and pressed her lips against his, sinking into an overwhelming kiss as she squeezed his hand tightly and just let her feelings come pouring out.

Unlike all her other kisses with Nick, this one felt… different. It wasn’t about pleasure; not her own, or his, either. It was almost innocent, with Gina not going beyond just the feeling of their lips pressed together. Just feeling that electricity flowing between them, it made her feel tingly all through her body and she relished that feeling- it was all she ever wanted, just more of this.

All the time, if possible!

As Gina squeezed his hand back and kept kissing him, she was brought back to that first time. Her very first kiss, and his too, as far as she knew. Back when they were kids, clumsy and innocent and just expressing their feelings in that way curious, childish kids do without fully understanding the weight of their actions.

Or the consequences.

Right now though, Gina didn’t care about the consequences. Not in her usual “Fuck it, shit doesn’t matter anyway, let’s just do it” freewheeling “Not caring about the consequences” but in a more pure, primal way.

Consequences were for the future, after all, and Gina didn’t want this kiss to ever end.

Right now, she wasn’t thinking about Dakota or what had happened in the past. And she didn’t have to be the perfect date for him, so long as they were kissing. If they just stayed linked together like this, making out for the rest of their morning, then wouldn’t that be good enough?

Couldn’t she just do that, instead of putting herself back in that sensitive situation she didn’t know how to handle, with a guy seriously trying to look out for her and treat her in a way that she didn’t know how to be treated?

This was so much easier. It was so much simpler.

Couldn’t they just keep kissing forever, losing themselves in the moment and just letting everything pass them by?

…

It was Gina who pulled away from Nick first. She looked him in the eyes, her tears all shed and her face burning with excitement as she met his heated gaze. She could see it in the way he looked at her, just how excited that kiss had gotten him. Not in the sense of sexual arousal or anything like that, but… aroused by the prospect of what was to come.

Gina could see the future between them, in that hot moment their eyes met. She could see what Nick wanted from her, and honestly…

A part of her really wanted that herself.

After a lifetime of not finding herself suitable dating material, part of her so desperately wanted to prove the doubts wrong.

But… they still sat there, rooted in her chest, reminding her of the state of her reality like some twisted prank.

If only this could have been where we started that day, Gina thought bitterly. If only all those nightmares with Dakota had never happened. If we had just been together like this… wouldn’t that have been so wonderful?

Gina had gotten a glimpse of what that world would look like in a previous challenge. When she saw her other self. Dressed in pink, hair as blonde as the sun, a sweet, wholesome girl who had been **** to change her image.

But that girl lived in a different world from Gina. She had lived a completely different life than the one Gina had lived.

Gina… Gina wasn’t her.

It’s impossible to remove Dakota from the equation, though. Even without consciously acknowledging her, Gina could still feel Dakota’s presence looming over their date. And looking Nick in the eyes, she knew he could feel it too.

Where they were now in their lives… where they’d come from, the pain they’d been through, it was all because of her. Because of what had happened the last time they’d kissed so chastely like this, and who had suffered for it.

Guilt welled up in Gina’s chest as she realized how she felt. She moved to pull away but Nick squeezed her hands tightly and shook his head.

“No,” his eyes seemed to be saying. “Don’t run away from this.”

Gina’s eyes widened in response and she **** her body to relax. She let him keep holding her hands, gazing wondrously upon the man she was falling for, while still seeing the boy she’d been crushing on all those years ago.

“N-Nick…”

He tightened his grip on her hand and stepped even closer into her personal space. Gina’s first instinct was to back away, to maintain a safe distance between the two of them, but her body stopped her from doing that.

Or maybe it was her brain telling her body to stop. She really didn’t know, because nothing seemed to be working correctly right now.

“Nick, I…”

What was she even going to say to him? What could she say to him? This moment, right here, their eyes having met and their hearts pounding in unison with one another, Gina was ultimately and truthfully…

…Uncertain.

What did she want? She didn’t know. Gina seldom knew what she really wanted, she wasn’t really the introspective type. Her hedonistic lack of impulse control tended to be the one calling the shots most days, and today was no exception. So as she looked into Nick’s eyes and pondered what she wanted to do…

No answer came to her.

“It was nice,” Nick murmured, touching his lips with his free hand while maintaining his gaze. “That kiss… I really enjoyed it.”

Gina’s heart thrummed and her eyes opened wide. Hearing that from him, it made her feel…

“You… you did?” She murmured, her lips quivering.

Nick nodded. “I did,” he said sincerely. “It reminded me… of our first kiss, actually.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

So it wasn’t just her. She wasn’t the only one who had been thinking about it.

That realization gave her the courage she needed to pull her hand away and take a step back from him, her heart aching in anxiety.

“I… I see,” she murmured, biting her lip. “So you, too… you also thought… about that day…”

Nick wasn’t surprised by that reaction. He’d been anticipating it in fact. He knew how Gina felt about their past together, he knew how much pain she’d been through. They had both suffered greatly over what happened to Dakota, but right now, it was a much bigger trigger for her than it was for him.

He wasn’t sure if he had the strength to comfort her through that pain or not, but he wanted to try if he could.

“Gina, it’s alright,” he said gently, reaching out and cupping her cheek. “What happened with Dakota… it wasn’t either of our faults.”

“I know,” Gina said. She had blamed herself for what happened that day for so many years, but Nick was right. She hadn’t actually done anything wrong. She’d wanted to kiss him. And he wanted to kiss her.

There was nothing in that desire that warranted shame or guilt.

But still… tears filled her eyes all the same. The pain of that day, the curse that had hung over both their heads like a cloud, it casted a pall over every relationship they’d ever had, including the one they had with one another.

…Especially that one…

Gina’s tears began to fall. But they were stopped by Nick’s fingers as he wiped them away, cleaning her face as he looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“I know you’re nervous about where all this was going,” he said gingerly, giving her hand a tender squeeze. “That’s okay, Gina. I’m nervous, too.”

Gina swallowed. Her eyes widened. “You… you are?” She murmured.

He nodded. “Why wouldn’t I be? Seeing how much effort you’re putting into today… it means I need to give you a date worthy of all that effort, don’t you agree?

His logic was fairly solid. Gina couldn’t really argue with it, not in pure reasoning and rationale. And her heart pounded in her chest as she realized just how determined he really was to show her the kind of good time he felt she deserved.

“…Okay,” Gina mumbled out, still a bit lost in her daze. She slowly nodded her head. “If… if that’s what you want, then… okay…”

She really wasn’t sure what else she could say, if she was being honest. This sort of thing was uncharted territory for her.

And as open as Gina was to new experiences, she was the kind of girl who made all sorts of mistakes, even when she tried her best.

Nick took her hand again. She didn’t pull it away this time. She just let him lead her down the street, her heart pounding with excitement in her chest as she hoped that whatever kind of date he had planned for the two of them, it would be as wonderful as she wanted it to be.