Chapter Five: The Scent of Books in the Library and the True Feelings Beneath the Mask

"I made this skull of yours."

Xiaoya's words struck me like a thunderbolt, exploding in my chaotic mind. I looked up abruptly, staring intently at her, as if trying to find evidence that her words were a joke on her warm, smiling face.

But her eyes were clear and open, without a trace of joking.

The most renowned head stylist in the Kig circle, the mysterious master known by name but never seen in person, and revered as "Master Ya"... is actually this seemingly ordinary short-haired girl working in a coffee shop?

This is even more surreal than me falling down in a shopping mall while wearing a bunny girl outfit.

"You...you are 'Master Ya'?" My voice became sharp and even cracked from shock.

Xiaoya was amused by my reaction. She winked playfully and said, "Doesn't it seem like it? Or do you imagine 'Master Ya' to be a burly man with a big beard and picking his toes?"

Old K and Ah Hai were also shocked. Clearly, they only knew that Xiao Ya was an insider, but they didn't know that her true identity was so significant.

“Heavens… Xiaoya, you…” Old K opened his mouth, unable to speak for a long time.

"Alright, alright, we'll talk about that later." Xiaoya waved her hand, interrupting everyone's astonishment. "The most important thing right now is to get A-Zhe back safely. K-Brother, you drive through the back alley, I'll go with you. A-Hai, I'm leaving things here to you, remember to issue a statement!"

"Don't worry." Ah Hai nodded solemnly.

And so, in a state of near sleepwalking, I slipped out of the coffee shop through the back door, escorted by Xiaoya and Lao K. My "sacred relics" were carefully packed into a huge black garbage bag, carried by Lao K, and looked like an ordinary bag of odds and ends.

On the way back, the atmosphere in the car was quiet. I sat in the back seat, and Xiaoya sat next to me. I could smell a faint, clean scent emanating from her, a scent that brought a strange sense of calm to my still-shaken heart.

I couldn't utter a single word. Words of gratitude stuck in my throat, sounding so pale and powerless. If it weren't for her today, my life might have been completely ruined. This kindness is so heavy that I don't know how to repay it.

She seemed to sense my embarrassment and broke the silence by asking, "Are you alright? Should you get your knee injured?"

"No...it's nothing, just a minor injury." I quickly shook my head.

"That's good." She paused, then said softly, "Don't think too much about what happened today. Treat it like a nightmare; it'll be over when you wake up."

I watched the street scenes rushing past the car window, a bitter feeling welling up inside me. How could I possibly go? Those countless gazes, those disdainful and mocking expressions, were etched into the depths of my soul like a brand.

“I…” I mustered my courage and turned to look at her. “I probably… will never wear it again.”

As I uttered those words, a sharp pain pierced my heart. Giving up "Sakurajima Mai" felt like tearing a piece of my flesh from my body. She was my fantasy, my refuge, my only haven from reality. But now, that haven had been defiled, exposed to the cruelest sunlight.

Xiaoya looked at me quietly, without immediately refuting me. After a long while, she slowly spoke: "That's your freedom. But, Zhe, the tools themselves are not wrong. Whether it's Kigurumi or cosplay, they are just ways for us to express our love. What's wrong are those misunderstanding and malicious looks."

"Don't punish your passion because of other people's mistakes."

Her voice was soft, yet it struck my heart like a small hammer.

The car quickly arrived at my apartment building. Old K handed me the large black bag, patted my shoulder with a complicated expression, and said, "Zhe, get some rest. I'm sorry."

“It’s none of your business.” I shook my head.

“Um…” I turned to Xiaoya, mustering the greatest courage I’ve ever had, “I… could I have your contact information? Thank you for today…”

Xiaoya laughed heartily: "Of course."

We added each other on WeChat. Her profile picture was a chibi version of Mai-senpai, and her nickname was simply "Ya". Simple and direct.

Watching them drive away, I carried the heavy bag and walked upstairs step by step. The bag contained my shattered dreams.

When I got home, I didn't clean those "parts" as usual. I just stuffed them, along with the bag, into the deepest part of the closet, as if that would seal away everything that had happened that day.

I took off my clothes and stood in front of the bathroom mirror. Looking at the crisscrossing marks on my body and the scabbed wound on my knee, I finally couldn't hold back anymore. I hugged my knees, squatted on the floor, and cried silently.

***

The following week passed in a daze.

I took annual leave and locked myself at home, afraid to go out or go online. I was afraid to see my disheveled face on any social media platform.

The WeChat profile picture of "Ya" lies quietly in my contact list. I've opened her Moments countless times, only to immediately close it again. Her Moments is very clean; aside from occasionally sharing some anime news, there's almost no content about her personal life.

I didn't know what to say to her. Say "thank you"? That felt too weak. Ask her about the skull? That made me seem like I had ulterior motives.

I was like a cowardly turtle, hiding in my shell, licking my wounds.

It wasn't until a week later, in the afternoon, that my food supplies finally ran low. I had to put on a mask and hat, wrap myself up tightly, and sneak out like a thief to the nearby university town supermarket to stock up on supplies. Our home isn't far from the local university town; the supermarkets there are cheap, and there are lots of people around, so I figured it would be safer.

The university town was brimming with youthful energy on the weekend. I walked briskly among the smiling students with my head down, feeling like an outsider, a shadow that couldn't bear the light.

In the supermarket, I grabbed instant noodles, bread, and a few bottles of water and hurried to the checkout. While waiting in line, I glanced up and my eyes swept across the university library across the street.

Through the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, I saw a familiar figure.

With shoulder-length short hair and a slender figure, she sat at a table by the window, intently reading a book. Sunlight streamed through the glass, casting a warm golden glow on her, making her appear serene and beautiful.

It's Xiaoya.

My heart skipped a beat uncontrollably.

What is she doing here? Could it be... that she studies at this university?

For some inexplicable reason, I abandoned the idea of ​​queuing, put my shopping basket back where it was, and walked out of the supermarket. I stood under the shade of a tree opposite the library, watching her from afar. I don't know why I did it; I just... wanted to see her a little longer.

She was engrossed in her book, occasionally picking up a pen to jot something down in her notebook. Sunlight brushed against her hair, making the fine downy hairs dance in the air. Occasionally, she would look up at the window, her gaze unfocused, as if deep in thought.

At that moment, she was a completely different person from the calm, decisive, and commanding woman she had been in the coffee shop that day. Now, she was just an ordinary female college student, immersed in her own world.

I was engrossed in watching her when she seemed to notice me. Suddenly, she turned her head and looked directly in my direction.

I was startled, like a thief caught red-handed, and quickly lowered my head, pretending to look at my phone.

Oh no, I've been found out. Will she think I'm a stalker?

My heart was pounding, and my palms were sweaty. It took me a while to sneakily lift my eyelids. I saw she had already stood up and was tidying up the books on the table. Then, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and left the library.

She walked straight towards me.

My mind went blank, and my feet felt like they were nailed to the ground; I couldn't run away even if I wanted to.

She stopped in front of me, backlit, so I couldn't see her expression.

"Ah Zhe?" she tentatively called out my name.

"...Yes." I awkwardly took off my mask, revealing my face.

“It really is you,” she laughed, her eyes curving into beautiful crescents. “I thought the back view looked similar, but I didn’t expect it to be you. What a coincidence.”

"Yes...yes, what a coincidence." I was so nervous that I could barely speak. "I...I live nearby and came here to buy some things."

“I study here.” She pointed to the library behind her. “In the architecture department.”

It turns out they really were students.

We fell into a brief awkward silence. I didn't know what to say, and she seemed to be trying to find a topic to talk about as well.

"Are you... alright? These past few days?" She spoke first, her tone tinged with concern.

"Yeah, it's alright." I nodded.

"That's good." She put her hands behind her back and lightly drew circles on the ground with her toes. "Um... is your knee injury healed?"

"Ah...it's all better now." I subconsciously touched my knee.

"Hmm..." She fell silent again.

A subtle atmosphere filled the air. I could smell her pleasant, sunshine-like scent.

“Actually…” she suddenly looked up, looked into my eyes, and said very seriously, “I… lied that day.”

"Huh?" I was stunned.

"I didn't make that Mai-senpai's skull."

"Huh?" I was even more confused.

Seeing my confused expression, she couldn't help but chuckle. "I said that to put your mind at ease. Actually, I'm 'Master Ya's' apprentice. I'm still learning, mainly responsible for sanding and painting."

“The head shell was made by my master. But I did the painting and hair styling.” She scratched her head a little shyly. “So, I guess you could say I got half the credit.”

So that's how it is. I breathed a sigh of relief, but a strange, inexplicable feeling welled up inside me.

“My master…she admires you very much,” Xiaoya continued. “She saw your photos and said you perfectly captured the soul of her work.”

"She... wants to see you."

"See me?" I was flattered and waved my hands repeatedly, "No, no, no, I... I've stopped playing."

"Don't jump to conclusions so quickly." Xiaoya took a card out of her backpack and handed it to me. "This is our studio's address, also near the university town. This weekend, we're having a small internal meeting where we can all play games and chat. My mentor will be there too. You...would you like to come and take a look?"

Her clear eyes were filled with anticipation.

I looked at the card in her hand, then at her sincere face. The door to my heart, the door I thought was locked forever, sealed shut, seemed... to have been gently pried open a crack by her in a tender way.

Through that gap, I seemed to see again Mai Sakurajima, gazing at the kitten in the midnight park.

"Don't punish your passion because of other people's mistakes."

Her words echoed in my ears once again.

I hesitated for a long time before finally reaching out and taking the card.

"I...I'll think about it."

"Okay." Xiaoya smiled even more happily. "I'll wait for you."