Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone

Gina felt exhausted. She’d had a really chill day of just hanging around not doing anything, but she still felt exhausted. And it wasn’t because she’d actually bothered to do her laundry today (without being asked!) that was ridiculous.

No, her exhaustion was entirely thanks to being **** to handle Dakota and her current mental breakdown, which she was very much not equipped for. She could hardly take care of herself! And now she was expected to take care of a woman with absolute power over the island, who could make her life miserable with a flick of her cane?

Gina had a sleeve of tattoos covering her arm that burned as testament to why you shouldn’t mess with the host of the show. And as many mistakes as she may have made in her life, she was quite capable of learning her lessons.

But… Gina cared about Dakota. All the bad, awful things Dakota had done in her life, none of that mattered to the punk girl, not really. She cared about her friend and wanted to be there for her, so she would do whatever she had to.

Which was why right now she had led Dakota back into the bar, where they could have some privacy and Dakota could cry herself out.

It was actually a stunning sight to see. Gina had a lot of vivid memories of her old friend crying like this, including the night of the first time they met. But that was when she was a little girl. This was the first time she’d ever seen adult Dakota really bawl.

Fortunately, the Lounge Bar in the hotel was actually pretty high-class. And that didn’t just mean the liquor selection, either; there were comfortable couches to relax on instead of stained, peanut-smelling tables and stools, and she helped Dakota sit down on one.

“It’s gonna be alright,” Gina said awkwardly, not having a lot of experience being in this situation. Usually she was the one being taken care of, whenever anyone actually bothered to care about her. “Hey, let’s get some water in you, help you breathe a little bit…”

Gina looked towards the bar, but it was empty. If she wanted she could have grabbed all the free drinks she liked! (Though why bother? Everything was free here anyway.)

“I sent her away,” Dakota muttered, her tear-filled eyes drilling holes into the floor. “The faerie. Who fucking needs her, anyway…”

Gina bit her lip and looked anxiously at her friend. She didn’t really know what to say in response to that, so she just sighed and scratched her head.

“Well, I mean… I guess I can get you something, then.” She got up and went to go get a glass of water for Dakota… and then mixed something really strong for herself.

She had a feeling she’d need it, to get through tonight.

Dakota downed her glass like she’d been wandering in the desert for forty years. Then after her last swig she let it fall to the ground, not caring if it shattered on the floor. Luckily the plush carpet absorbed most of the impact.

Gina could see from the bleary look in her friend’s eyes that she wasn’t at all interested in talking, if she was even capable of it. Dakota may not have been able to get drunk, but she was definitely impaired in a different sense.

Maybe Gina wasn’t the only one who was feeling incredibly exhausted dealing with all this drama.

“Let me get you some more water,” Gina said, picking up the glass and returning to the bar. Her own drink remained untouched, even though she would have given anything to not have to get through this sober.

“I don’t get it…” Dakota’s bitter voice touched Gina’s ears and she froze mid-drink preparation. Gina looked back at her friend with a curious look and saw Dakota staring somberly up at her. Her eyes were a little more focused now, which was good.

“…What don’t you get?” She asked quietly, walking back over to her and handing her the glass of water. Again, Dakota drained it to the last drop in a single sip. She really was thirsty, it appeared.

Once she was done, she set down her glass this time, and looked up at Gina. She seemed much more sober now.

“Why are you doing all this for me?” Dakota asked quietly.

Gina blinked, surprised by the other woman’s question.

“…I told you already,” she said. “Weren’t you listening? It’s because we’re friends, Dakota.”

“And I told you already,” Dakota sneered at her, “that playing ‘friends’ with me is as stupid an idea as any you’ve ever had. And you’ve had quite a great many stupid ideas in your life, haven’t you little girl?” She hissed.

“I don’t think you’re one to talk about that, even if you ARE a few months older than me,” Gina replied with a scowl. “You want to talk about stupid ideas? Fine. We can talk about stupid ideas.”

Gina knew she should have been trying to talk Dakota down and not work her back up, but she lacked the patience of an actual shrink, so all she could do was let her emotions leak into her voice as she tried in vain to stop herself from inciting her friend even further.

She couldn’t help it. This was a long time coming.

“Do you remember when I told you not to go on the climbing wall at camp, that it was only for the big kids, and you’d hurt yourself?” Gina demanded, grabbing her drink and draining it dry herself. “But nooooo, you knew what you were doing, that’s what you said! And what happened? Exactly what I said was going to happen, you fell because you couldn’t reach the next rock, and you sprained your wrist! Yeah, that was a real brilliant idea you had there, Dakota!”

It felt so good to let that out!

“And then there was the time you convinced the three of us to sneak away from the rest of the Turtles and go down to the river! Remember? They practically shut down the whole camp trying to find us because you snuck away and hid under the bridge!” Once Gina started going, it was hard to stop her. Her parents had yelled at her all night for doing that, and it had been all Dakota’s fault! She’d been a good girl back then, and Dakota kept getting her in trouble. Now she could finally let her old friend know how much those moments had hurt her!

“Are you serious right now!?” Dakota couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “All this time, and you’re still harping on irrelevant nonsense like that?!”

“It’s not irrelevant to me!” Gina replied. “Those… those were some of the best days of my life, Dakota. Because I had friends. It was only two weeks every summer, but those three years… they helped me get through a really difficult time in my life.”

Dakota winced, seeing the troubled expression on Gina’s face. She may have been dealing with her own shit right now, but she could still see how hurt her friend was.

And as much as Dakota denied it… she DID care about Gina. The part of her that cared may have been small an insignificant compared to her duties to her job as a host, but it still existed, and Dakota… Dakota didn’t want to act like it didn’t matter to her.

Because it did matter. Gina mattered.

Even if Dakota didn’t know… how she was supposed to handle her old, dear friend.

“…Those memories… they’re trash,” she muttered bitterly, shaking her head. She couldn’t acknowledge what she’d been left with. She couldn’t accept it. “Just forget about those times. That girl you knew back then… she’s gone. That isn’t me anymore.”

Gina winced when she saw the pain in Dakota’s face. She understood how hard it must have been for her, to say something like that.

“…They still mean something to me,” she said quietly. She reached over and placed her hand over Dakota’s. She was stunned that the other woman didn’t pull her hand away immediately like touching a hot stove.

Maybe she didn’t even have the strength for that.

Dakota just sat there with a bitter expression on her tired face, and looked up at Gina. It was clear that all she wanted to do right now was leave. But she couldn’t. She didn’t even have the strength to do that at this point.

“Then you’re a fool,” she bitterly muttered. “Do you think I actually cared about you back then? …What am I saying, you probably do. You were just a naïve little girl back in those days.”

Her eyes ran over Gina, and there was a contemptuous light in them. “You weren’t the skanky cunt you are now.”

Gina wasn’t that dumb. She could see clearly what Dakota was trying to do, because she’d done it all herself. She was being rude and hostile and aggressive to try and drive Gina away, because she didn’t like being accountable to someone who was trying to help her.

How many people had Gina herself pushed away, in her downward spirals?

The answer was “Too many” and it was because of that that Gina knew better than to take anything her old friend said at face value. Dakota would say anything at this point if it would get her what she wanted… and apparently what she wanted was for Gina to feel as miserable as she did right now.

Well… mission fucking accomplished. Gina already felt terrible, but it wasn’t because of anything Dakota was doing or saying.

She felt terrible because her friend was in a bad place right now, and Gina knew that nothing she said would be able to help her. That was a horrible feeling to have, that sense of powerlessness and despair, like nothing you said or did mattered and even your presence didn’t make a difference.

The only reason Gina could keep going was because she had to believe that it wasn’t true. She had to believe that her presence DID make a difference somehow, even if Dakota didn’t verbally acknowledge or accept it.

As long as she could be here for her friend… she had to hope that would be enough.

“Dakota…”

“No, shut your mouth,” Dakota snapped, cutting her off with a sharp glare. “Gina, you don’t understand a damn thing, you got that?”

Gina looked at her in surprise. “D-Dakota-”

“I never cared about you!” She hissed, curling her lips into a snarl. “I didn’t. I was just using you, Gina, that’s all! From the moment we met!”

Gina frowned. “Using me?”

“That’s right!” Dakota’s golden eyes were shining, so unlike the bright blue eyes Gina remembered from when she was a little girl. Her pale lips spread into a wicked grin. “I didn’t ever really care about you. NICK was the only one who mattered to me. The only reason I even talked to you was to make him jealous, remember? He went on that hike with Amelia and his dad, and I threw a tantrum and didn’t want to go. But since he left anyway, I had to make him pay. So I went to play with the other kids, and there you were. A silly little girl all by herself, singing on a log. No friends, but so obviously **** for them. And I thought ‘Well, now isn’t this useful? What a lucky coincidence for me!’ and went to go talk to you. Because I knew that if I gave you even a little bit of attention that you would be fawning all over me. And once THAT happened, and Nick saw how easily I could replace him with someone else, he’d come crawling back to me and we would be friends again, and that would be that. So if you thought I actually cared about you, that we became friends because of some deep, unspoken bond we shared being the two loners at camp, forget it. You were just a sad girl **** for friends, but I had everything I needed already.”

It clearly took a lot out of Dakota to say all that. When she was done, she needed to catch her breath. She looked up at Gina with a triumphant expression on her face, one that was almost expectant. Like she was looking forward to what the other woman would say.

Maybe she wanted to see if Gina was going to cry.

But Gina wasn’t that fragile. Maybe that little girl on the log would have burst into tears hearing all that, but Gina had gone through way worse in her life. She’d had plenty of other two-faced friends betray her, take advantage of her, and throw her away when she was no longer useful.

Did Dakota really think that something like this would rattle her?

It was actually kind of insulting, to be honest.

“…Is that all, then?” Gina asked, giving Dakota an even stare.

Dakota’s mouth twisted into a pained “O” shape as she looked at the other girl, irritated that Gina had taken what she said so well.

“That’s not enough for you?” She spat in disgust.

Gina shrugged. “Well… what do you want me to say?” She asked plainly. “Dakota, I don’t know what you think you remember about yourself, but you weren’t some insidious mastermind as a kid, not even close. Even dumb, naïve little me could tell you were just trying to use me to get back at the boy you liked. But I didn’t care. Because I liked you, and I wanted to be your friend.”

Dakota’s face reddened with frustration.

“So you admit you’re an idiot,” she muttered, shaking her head.

Gina shrugged. “I’m definitely an idiot,” she agreed. “But this has nothing to do with that.”

She didn’t shirk under Dakota’s withering glare. She met it directly, looking deeply into her friend’s eyes without flinching.

“I was lonely back then, and you came up to me to be my friend,” Gina pointed out. “For a little girl who had nothing, no friends, who was going to spend the next two weeks at a mosquito-infested swamp with no TV and no video games, you coming to talk to me was the happiest moment of my summer. I didn’t care that you were just trying to get back at Nick, Dakota. I was just happy to have someone I could call my friend.”

She remembered the smile Dakota gave her. That was a real smile. Dakota might have been able to rewrite history in her own mind and convince herself that there was never anything genuine there, but Gina didn’t accept that.

Their friendship was a genuine one. She knew that, because she had seen Dakota at her lowest point.

“Do you remember how happy you were to have a sleepover with me?” Gina asked.

Dakota flinched, and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. She glared two golden pits of fury at the punk girl and gnashed her teeth.

“Don’t talk about that,” she demanded coldly.

Gina shrugged. “Why not? It’s just a harmless memory, after all. You were so happy to finally have a girl friend, you wanted to snuggle up next to me in bed, remember? I still feel your arm wrapped around mine.”

“The only reason I wanted to sleep over at your cabin was to make Nick jealous, that was it,” Dakota snapped. “Just because you remember it in a way that’s convenient to you-”

“I remember you wetting the bed,” Gina bluntly interrupted.

The color drained from Dakota’s face and she clenched her cane tightly. She locked her jaw and leered furiously at Gina. “You swore you would never say a word about that.”

“That’s right,” Gina nodded. “I swore. To my friend. Because that’s what you were, Dakota. My friend. I never would have upset my friend by spilling her deepest secret.”

Dakota blinked. Then she sank into the couch and laughed a broken laugh. “…So that’s your game then, huh?”

“What?” Gina looked confused.

Dakota sat up in her seat and sneered at her. “You’re trying to extort me, are you? ‘I only keep secrets for my friends. So either you stay my friend, or I’ll tell Nick everything that happened that night!’ Very clever, Gina. More calculating than I would have expected from you…”

Gina’s mouth fell open in shock.

“What!? No, that’s not what I-! Are you nuts?!” She couldn’t believe Dakota was taking her statement like that.

Actually… she could believe it.

Dakota was in a really bad place right now, and was viewing every interaction she had with anyone as entirely transactional.

It wasn’t such a surprise that the host would see this as a **** attempt, but…

“I don’t care about that!” Gina’s face reddened with fury. “I’m not going to tell anyone, EVER! Because we’re friends! That’s what you’re not getting here!”

She rose to her feet and glared down at Dakota, who just stared vacantly back up at her.

Then Dakota sighed.

“…It doesn’t matter anyway,” she muttered, shaking her head. “Tell whoever you like. I don’t care anymore.”

Gina’s eye twitched in frustration.

“Listen, Dakota, I don’t care! I don’t CARE that you don’t want to be my friend anymore, or that you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you never were, or that you’re just lying to yourself, or ANY of it! Okay!? None of that matters to me!”

Dakota glared up at her.

Gina glared right back.

“…You wet the bed because you were nervous about sleeping over with a new friend,” Gina said, revealing what she knew to be true, no matter how uncomfortable it made the other woman. “Unless you’re going to tell me next that you were just the kind of ten-year-old who wets the bed regularly, in which case-”

“Of course I wasn’t!” Dakota roared, jumping to her feet and glaring at Gina.

Now they were eye to eye.

Gina smirked.

“No, of course not,” she said, shaking her head. “You were bawling your eyes out, about how it was an accident, remember? First time I ever saw you cry.”

Not the last.

Dakota looked like she was about to shed tears of fury now, though, as she dug her fingernails into her palms.

“You… you don’t know a damn thing,” she muttered, shaking her head. “You fucking piece of… listen, you!”

Gina braced herself for the worst. In her present condition, Dakota could do just about anything to her, and she’d have to take it.

But… Dakota didn’t.

She just unclenched her fist and sank back down onto the couch, looking like all the resistance had been snuffed out of her.

It hurt Gina to see her friend in that state. But there wasn’t anything she could do for Dakota. There just wasn’t.

All she could do was sit down next to her and be there for her, so that’s what she did. Because that’s what a friend would do.