Joanie Bites Back

Joan stared at him. As if she was in shock, the glistening leftovers of her last dare had apparently been forgotten. Life went on. She was staring intently at Harry. I felt a jealous pang. Now that Paul had let her down, would she transfer her interest to Harry? You don't have any reason to be jealous, I chided myself. Me and Harry weren't anything. That was how it should be, long before he had done anything gentlemanly or not tonight. The old guilty feeling lapped at me.

"Is it true you and Jack both had sex with a girl once?" she asked.

It was a one two punch. First, the thought of– no, I couldn't bear to think of it. Those two. Covered in sweat. And– no! Second was that those words had come out of Joan's mouth. Normally she layered any passing reference to sex behind twelve different, polite euphemisms. Three short minutes were all it took to bring it out of her. Food for thought.

Harry hesitated. That was as bad as the first time. Is this who he was, deep down? Every question thrown his way seemed to reveal a very different side from the sober, thoughtful intellectual I thought I knew. Again, he got to his feet and made for the desk. This time I wasn't able to restrain myself.

"Are you serious?!" I said.

He turned back to me like a deer caught in the headlights. His hand drifted toward the desk. I wanted to protest again, but my throat was all closed up.

"Hey, he just wants an excuse to try the good stuff," said Jack, almost serious. I glared at him. It had to be his fault. I still couldn't fathom a Harry that would do these things without that devil on his shoulder.

"Oh, sure, Jack, whatever you say. He's really craving it," I snapped.

"He probably is, I've been giving him coke every few days the last month and a half!" Jack said. Again I was stunned by how straight he was looking at me. This wasn't a dumb joke, that was real.

"Jack, man, what the fuck!" Harry shouted.

"Who cares, dude?" Jack shot back, looking irritated. "Just be honest about it, it's such a pain in the ass to do this sneaking around shit. What, you think Vi won't want to slob on your knob if she knows you're a junkie?"

My mouth opened as Harry shut his. That didn't last long, though. "I-- I-- I don't want," I stammered.

Jack and Harry had a heated exchange. "They're right, man, fuck off," Harry said, and then bent over the desk to snort some more of the white stuff up his nose. So that was how it was. Both boys ignored me. Whoever that girl Joan had heard about was, she was probably just another game between those two. I wanted to tell them to just kiss and leave us out of it, but that would require a voice, and mine had run away on me.