Has Anyone Seen Any Ninja Turtles Down Here?

You never feel so truly thankful for showers, cleanliness, and those cheesy air fresheners you get at car washes than you do whenever you are ankle deep in sewer water. The smell of literal shit and other drainage muck wafting from the rushing water into my nostrils…

Yeah, not exactly the most sexy thing to read about in these porn books, huh?

Trust me, it’s not like I wanna be here either. However, after the week I’ve had it may as well end up here, because quite literally: It stinks. I’ve got more pressure on my shoulders than a fallen elevator, and more people yelling in my ear than a tourist in the middle of Time Square.

Now this entire week culminates to me, running next to Ninja Turtle piss, chasing after one of the freakiest fucking things I’ve laid eyes on. It’s easy following the path of destruction, claw marks, ripped up pipes, but every once in a while the trail goes cold, and I have to wait for the occasional roar or scrape from down the path to make sure I don’t lose its trail, all the while every second it gets further and further away from me.

My heart was in my stomach, my brain was racing a thousand miles an hour, and my spider senses were practically screaming at me every second now. It was like I was surrounded by danger that I couldn’t see. My world was being flipped on its head, and it was all my fault…

Fuck, now if you’ll excuse me, that giant, tail whipping shadow up ahead is telling me that I am getting close to my main destination. So, if you wouldn’t mind, why don’t you go back and learn about what got me in this shit show? Don’t worry, I’ll be here whenever you get back!

…hopefully anyway!