Pretend I'm something other than this mess that I am

The rest of the date seemed to almost pass Morgana by in a blur. And yet, she loved every second of it. It almost felt like a game. She tried to find things that she could connect with Nick over at each place they went to- and he couldn’t even tell sometimes just how **** she was.

For example, when they went to the Saltwater Taffy Store. The faerie there was a rather eclectic one- rather than being a single uniform color, her hair was streaked like a rainbow and her dress was equally multicolored. It was a fascinating sight, but not nearly as fascinating as the barrels of colored taffy lining the room.

“I’ve gotta say, Morgana, this definitely wasn’t something I would have expected for a date,” Nick said sincerely as they walked through the specialized candy shop.

“Ehehehe… well, what can I say? I’m a pretty odd girl!” Morgana giggled awkwardly. “Saltwater taffy is just… so great!”

…Yeah, maybe she was embellishing slightly. Truth was, Morgana wasn’t exactly a candy fan. She used to be, but not so much anymore. This wouldn’t be her first choice for a date location. But she’d still insisted on it to Holly and Dawn, who were rather mixed about the idea.

“Do you even like saltwater taffy?” Dawn had grilled her.

“Yes,” Morgana had lied.

“Sounds boring. Sweet, but boring. Not that you’re boring! Just sweet, I mean,” Holly said, finding the idea charming but not exactly something worth budgeting that much time for.

“Thank you?” Morgana had said, confused.

So maybe Morgana was trying too hard. Maybe she was attempting to seem cool and hip, like a girl who had everything put together, with hobbies and interests that would look cool to Nick.

What was the alternative? Do nothing and just let the date be boring? Spend another couple hours talking about trading card games, putting Nick and the audience to sleep?

No, Morgana was determined to make this date a success! And since she didn’t have any hobbies even nearly as interesting as her love of socks, that meant pretending she was having a good time, so that he could have a good time as well.

Besides- Nick was here, and he was smiling, and that was enough for her to have fun no matter what they were doing.

“These are really good!” Nick said, trying a sample from one of the barrels. “It’s got great texture, and the flavor is amazing!”

“Why thank you!” The rainbow-colored faerie chirped. “We try our best!”

Morgana looked hesitantly at the barrel of colored taffy. It was a bright sea green color with a splotchy yellow center- apparently, it was piña colada flavor, which she had come to learn was one of Nick’s favorite flavors.

Well… he likes the taffy… I guess that makes sense. All the food on this island does taste pretty good, Morgana conceded. It was rare that she had a meal she didn’t like.

“Are you going to get anything?” Nick asked her, and suddenly she was the center of attention again.

The little jump she made was probably his first clue how unprepared she was for that.

“Err… ye-yeah, I… I will,” Morgana stammered, her eyes flickering shiftily in all directions at once, practically spinning in her head. She chewed her lip a little and scanned the assortment of colored barrels until she found what she wanted.

The black licorice flavor! The only flavor of candy suitable for Morgana’s tastes, black as midnight and practically shining with suggestive malice. Morgana hastily rushed over and dug into the barrel, taking out a handful.

Nick laughed. “Black licorice, I should have figured that would be your favorite flavor,” he joked.

Morgana gave him a shaky smile and nodded. “Yeah… m-my favorite,” she murmured, unpeeling the wrapper with trembling hands.

The smell made her feel a little woozy. But she **** herself to push through, and popped the treat into her mouth.

She didn’t even gag this time! Even though the piece of candy tasted like chewing on an old shoe.

Immediately, Morgana found herself at a crossroads. Every part of her body was telling her not to swallow this disgusting mound of mashed-up tar sludge. But if she didn’t swallow, then she would be **** to keep it in her mouth. And that seemed just as awful a prospect.

So as much as she hated the taste of the taffy, she **** it down, and tried to smile her way through the discomfort.

“It… it was delicious,” she stammered, praying that Nick would be convinced by her smile.

Unfortunately, Morgana wasn’t even close to rivaling Rose as an actress.

“…You okay?” Nick asked, seeing her discomfort smeared all over her face. “Did it go down wrong?”

Morgana’s eyes bulged. She shook her head frantically. “No! It- it was really good! I l-love the flavor! Yeah…”

He wasn’t buying it. She could see it in his eyes how much he wasn’t buying it. Her heart started to pound in a blind panic.

“N-Nick…”

Now he was walking towards her! Oh no… she needed to pivot, now!

“DAWN!” Morgana screamed a silent emergency towards her best friend. The connection was immediate.

“Geez, Morgana, what!? What happened?” Dawn had been hoping, since it had been hours since Morgana had last contacted her, that the date was going well. But now she wasn’t so sure.

“We’re at the Saltwater Taffy Shop! And… and Nick, he thinks I don’t like the taste of the taffy! What do I do!?” Morgana rambled at her friend.

“…Do you like the taste of the taffy?” Dawn asked after a moment.

“No, that’s not important though!”

“…Kinda is…”

“It’s disgusting! It tastes like I’m chewing on tree bark and burnt tires!” Morgana was just assuming, not knowing how either of those things tasted like, but it was her best estimation of the residue lingering on her tongue.

“What? Saltwater taffy is delicious,” Dawn said, confused. “What flavor did you get?”

“Black licorice, obviously, it’s my favorite flavor,” Morgana answered, wondering how Dawn could be so clueless.

“…”

“Dawn?!”

“…I think I know what the problem is.” Morgana’s mental link couldn’t convey tone, just the words. And yet, just from the way the sentence popped into her mind, she could almost hear the exasperation in her best friend’s voice.

“What? What do I do?! What should I say?!”

“For starters, how about trying a different flavor from black licorice? Just a suggestion. Go for something sweet, like strawberry, I don’t know.”

“What? That’s not goth at all!”

“Sure it is, strawberries are red, like blood or whatever. Look, Morgana, I can’t fix your problems, you wanted to handle your date, handle your date.”

Morgana could feel that, from Dawn’s side of things, the conversation was over. Her heart began to pound in her chest. What had she said that had caused Dawn to lose her patience?! This wasn’t good, no, this wasn’t good at all…

Even worse was the fact that the world didn’t go on pause while Morgana was having her mental pleading session with her friend. So now Nick was staring at her with a concerned look in his eyes, like he was looking at someone who had just fallen into a coma while standing up.

“Morgana? You okay?” He asked, his voice aching with worry. The way he was staring at her, the anxiety on his face… he was just so…

Morgana began to tremble as her legs lost their strength. Nick had been so great today, how could she keep lying to him like this? She couldn’t!

“Nick…” she whimpered out, fighting back her tears. “I… I don’t like saltwater taffy… I’m sorry… I don’t…!”

“Huh?” Nick was thrown by that response. He’d been worried that something serious had happened or that he’d said something that was making her self-esteem take another nosedive, but it turned out that she was just upset because she didn’t like the taste of saltwater taffy?

Morgana was starting to hyperventilate a little.

“I know… I know it’s bad,” she mumbled out, trembling. “I brought you here, and told you about how it’s my favorite treat, but… that’s because I wanted to look cool and fun, not… not because it’s how I really felt! I’m sorry!”

She was doing it again. She’d tried to justify it to herself as not being a big deal, but the fact was that she was just a liar, playing games and messing around with Nick like this… she wasn’t being sincere at all, not really.

“…Morgana…” Nick honestly didn’t know what to say to the goth girl. He just looked at her, confused. She was getting this upset over taffy?

“I lied again!” Morgana wailed.

She didn’t stop sobbing until Nick stepped forward and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s fine,” he said gently. “Don’t cry.”

Morgana stopped outright blubbering, but she was still sniffling up a storm. “B-b-b-but… b-but…!”

“Look, you were trying to impress me, right?” Nick checked with her.

She nodded hesitantly.

“Well, that’s just it,” he said, “that’s another totally normal thing to do on a date, more or less. Playing up your interests so you look cooler to your partner, I mean. Maybe don’t outright lie, but there’s nothing wrong with exaggerating a little, right?”

Nick wasn’t sure he was giving her the best advice, but at this point he just wanted her to stop crying so they could continue their date.

Morgana looked like she wanted to believe him, which was good. But he also saw the uncertainty in her eyes, too.

“Nick…” Her lip was still trembling. “Nick, I… I don’t… I don’t like taffy,” she admitted again, this time without bursting into tears. “I like the idea of taffy, and this cool, rustic place… it’s so awesome, you know?!”

She wasn’t wrong, the store was very nice. It was styled to look like the inside of a boat or some seafood-themed restaurant, very much a throwback sort of shop. Nick definitely appreciated the ambience.

But that wasn’t the important thing here.

“…The taffy though… it didn’t taste very good,” Morgana said, looking shamefully down at the mountain of black candy in front of her. “I’ve tried eating it, even in the past, but… I don’t like the flavor, I just don’t…”

Nick looked at the black licorice taffy and was reminded of their breakfast that morning, when Morgana had insisted on ordering a black coffee but couldn’t stand the taste of it.

He fought back the sigh burning across his lips. “Well… maybe this barrel just went bad or something,” he said, suspecting it was more to do with Morgana’s tastes than anything.

As he tried to console her, he spared a moment to glance at the faerie behind the counter, who was not looking too pleased at his assertion. She crossed her arms over her chest and flung a scowl at him that he couldn’t argue with.

“But… I’ve had other taffy before,” Morgana said, not convinced. She glanced at the barrel again. “And it always tastes that way… same with other candy, too.”

“Black licorice flavor, you mean?” Nick asked.

Morgana nodded. “It’s the best flavor for me,” she said, a flash of pride returning to her voice as she puffed her chest out. “After all, it’s the gothiest flavor of candy. So obviously it’s my favorite!”

Right, sure, of course. Except for the fact that she hated it.

Nick fought back the urge to roll his eyes.

“Well, what about trying a different flavor, just to see if it tastes any better,” he suggested instead. “I know that some of these flavors taste pretty good, so like I said, maybe it’s just a bad barrel or something.”

Morgana recalled Dawn’s prior advice about trying out a different flavor. Maybe they were onto something…

“Well… I-I guess,” she conceded, not wanting to argue with him. But if the licorice flavor tasted that bad, she didn’t even want to know what the other flavors would taste like.

But Nick had seemed to like them. That was enough to push Morgana over the edge and agree to try, at least. It didn’t seem fair to ignore Nick’s recommendation when they were on a date together, after all, not when he was being so kind…

So Morgana summoned her courage and walked over to another barrel, and fished out a piece of taffy that was a nice blood red color with little black flecks speckling it.

She swallowed with fear.

“Go on, try it,” Nick encouraged her, forcing himself not to smile in amusement. “I’m sure it won’t taste that bad.”

Her fingers were trembling so much she barely got the wrapper off. It tore in several spots and in other places remained glued to the taffy. But she powered through, and freed the piece of candy from its shell, and now she was stuck with it.

Left with no other choice, she decided that she would get this over with as soon as possible, and tossed it into her mouth.

In an instant all of Morgana’s plans went right out the window. Suddenly, any thought of chewing and swallowing the candy vanished in a puff of smoke because it was SO DELICIOUS! She couldn’t believe her tongue!

“Thish ish-!” Morgana blushed and let out a little yelp, realizing far too late that she’d started talking with food in her mouth. How rude of her! But… what was she supposed to do? Swallow it? She couldn’t! She wanted to savor this flavor for the rest of her life!

She chewed and chewed and chewed as fruity goodness blossomed through every corner of her mouth, washing away the vile taste of black licorice for good. And far too soon, she found her jaws and tongue working against her, forcing the wad of taffy down her throat before she could stop herself.

And just like that, it was gone.

A tiny whine escaped her mouth and she winced, looking sadly down at the shreds of clear wrapper that were the only traces of the delicious salty treat.

“Well? Did you like it?”

Morgana jumped about ten feet in the air (if you asked her, anyway) and took a lifetime to come crashing back down. She whirled around, her eyes bulging in shock as she met Nick’s gaze, and saw the look of encouragement in his eyes.

“I-it…” Her eyes spun in her head and her mouth flopped open and closed as her whole body started to shiver. What should she say to him? What could she say to him?!

“Looks like you liked it,” Nick answered his own question, and Morgana turned as red as the candy she’d just eaten.

“It… it was amazing!” She finally blurted out. “It was so sweet and fruity and great and chewy and salty and-and-and… …Is that what saltwater taffy tastes like?!” She looked at the barrel again, finding it hard to believe that something so delicious could be made by the same people who made that other one she’d eaten.

“…I mean, yeah, that’s what it should taste like,” Nick said, nodding slowly. “It’s supposed to be delicious… it’s candy, after all.”

“…O-oh…” Morgana blushed, looking down bashfully. “I guess you’re right, it’s just, well… the other kind was…”

“Yeah, because it was black licorice flavor,” Nick said. It was getting really difficult not to laugh at Morgana, but he persevered because he cared about her so much. He knew she was trying her best to do her own thing, and laughing wouldn’t help anybody.

Morgana looked so sad and weak, though, he just wanted to give her a big hug!

“What’s wrong with black licorice?” Morgana mumbled. “It’s my favorite flavor…”

Even though she didn’t like the taste.

“Morgana, is the only reason you eat black licorice because of the color?” Nick asked.

Her eyes widened with alarm. “No! That’s not why! It’s also because of the flavor! Everybody says that black licorice is disgusting because of the bitterness, but they’re wrong! They just don’t understand how cool and complex it is, that’s why it’s the perfect candy for goths!”

Yep, that was about what he suspected.

“You don’t have to explain the merits of black licorice to me,” Nick assured her with a shake of his head. “It’s actually one of my favorite flavors.”

Morgana blinked, surprised. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I actually really like it. But it’s a bit of an acquired taste.”

“I know!” Morgana nodded rapidly. “Other people, they just don’t have the refined palate that we do to properly appreciate the complex flavor of black licorice, so they say it tastes awful and it’s disgusting and all that other stuff!”

Even though she didn’t like the taste.

Nick just gave Morgana a calm stare, and let her finish. “Morgana, do you really like the taste of black licorice?” He asked when she was done. “Or do you just like the image of yourself eating black licorice, because you think it suits your goth demeanor?”

Morgana looked like she’d just eaten another piece of black licorice hearing him say that.

“Uh-um…”

“It’s alright,” Nick said gently, giving her a soothing smile. “I get it. It’s alright not to like something, you know. It’s alright if you don’t like the flavor, it doesn’t make you less cool or anything like that.”

“I…” Hearing Nick say that was like he was giving Morgana permission to finally be honest with herself. Even though she hated admitting it, her body knew the truth.

“Besides, it’s cooler to be yourself, that’s what everyone says, right?” Nick knew how cheesy that sounded, and he internally cringed a little. But it was sappy stuff like that, that had the best chance of working on the girl in front of him.

Morgana looked up at him in amazement.

“R-really… um… …Okay, you’re right,” she finally conceded, hanging her head in shame. “I don’t actually like… the taste of black licorice. Or black coffee!” She wailed. “I just… I thought it was something I should like, so… I kept eating it… but it’s so gross! I can’t stand it, I can’t!”

She felt like a traitor to goths everywhere, admitting that. But it also felt so liberating. Like she was finally allowed to be honest with herself.

“I want sweet! I want fruity!” Morgana exclaimed, stomping her feet and flinging her hands wildly like she was throwing a tantrum. “That was delicious before! I want more of it!”

Nick couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she was acting. “Well, we’re here,” he said, waving his hand around the shop. “Why not try some flavors you might actually like?”

As Morgana rushed to another open barrel, he wondered if he had just created a monster. But if he had, at least she was a very cute monster, that had to count for something.