And you think maybe everybody wants it, and needs it, a little bit too

Nick found himself in a bit of a difficult situation. While he really enjoyed how much Morgana seemed to be having fun, talking about something she was passionate about, he was starting to reach his limit. It would be one thing if they were just playing Magic: the Gathering together like before, but Morgana had decided to eschew actual gameplay for what amounted to a thesis statement on “color identity” and “color relationships” and “color theory” and a bunch of other stuff that, if Nick was being honest here, he really couldn’t care less about.

To him, Magic was just a game. An okay game, sure, and one that he found pretty fun, but he didn’t have the sort of obsession with it that Morgana obviously did.

And he was starting to get overwhelmed.

“…Look, Morgana…” How could he explain that to her delicately, though? That was the difficult part here. He didn’t want to make her think he didn’t care, but they couldn’t spend the entire day here talking about this stuff!

“Hmm?” Morgana, sensing something was amiss, looked worriedly up at him and chewed on her lip. “Wh-what is it?” She asked hesitantly.

Maybe it was because of how much she’d matured since coming to the island, but these days she had a much keener perception of when she was wearing thin on people.

Nick **** himself to smile.

“It’s clear you’re really passionate about this stuff,” he said gently. “…But wouldn’t you like to, like, play another actual game? Instead of just talking about it?”

He was trying not to tell her directly that he was agitated and overwhelmed. Because he really DID like how passionate Morgana was about this stuff, he really did!

Still…

“I-I think you’re right,” Morgana said sheepishly, taking the hint and deciding to move on from the topic of conversation. “Maybe we should play another game, before we have to go… we don’t want to spend too much time here, right?”

She reached into her bag and dug out the itinerary that she had planned with the other girls… and when she saw what was written there her eyes nearly bulged out of her skull.

“Oh… oh no!” She gasped, turning pale.

Nick was immediately alert. “What?” He asked worriedly. “What’s wrong?”

“I… we… we spent WAY too much time here!” Morgana was almost on the verge of tears. “Not only do we not have t-time for another game, b-but… we missed out on our library time, too… oh, I… I can’t believe I screwed up…!”

Nick winced, seeing how close to crying she was. “Hey, no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it,” he said, reaching out to comfort her. But she jerked away from him and shook her head sadly.

“It… I am worried about it,” she whimpered sadly. “We… we were supposed to go to the library after this… I wanted… I wanted to do something that you would enjoy, too, but… I was so caught up in everything I wasted all our time… I’m so sorry…”

Today was supposed to be about them having fun together. And Morgana had selfishly squandered the time budgeted for something Nick would enjoy, just so she could bore him to tears with her talk about colors and their relationships with one another in a card game! One of the most boring aspects of the game!

What a shitty thing to do…

Nick could see how hard Morgana was taking this, and he really wished he could say something to cheer her up. But what? She was hardly listening to anything he had to say at this point!

…But…

“…Morgana, it’s fine,” he said gently, trying to soothe her. “Really, it’s fine.”

“B-but… if we push back the library then we won’t have time for all the other stuff…” Morgana sniffled. She looked sadly down at her list. “…No… it… it’s fine… we… we can…”

She was just being selfish. The other activities were things SHE wanted to do. They could still go to the library, it would just mean that they’d have to give up on something else.

That was the right thing to do. It was Morgana’s fault that they were behind schedule, it should be her who gave something up. That was only right, after all!

But Morgana was so caught up in being “right” that she wasn’t even listening to what Nick was trying to tell her.

“Morgana, I don’t think this was a waste of time at all,” he assured her, finally taking hold of her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

…

“…It… wasn’t?” Morgana slowly raised her head and looked at Nick with a stunned expression on her face. “B-but… you love the library… don’t you?”

True, Nick did enjoy getting a good read in at the library. But Morgana was missing the point.

“Why are we on this date?” He gently asked her.

Morgana blinked. “Um… be-because… we’re trying to have fun and get to know each other better… right?”

Nick nodded. “So what do you think is going to help me get to know you better? Sitting here listening to you talk about one of your favorite hobbies, or the two of us grabbing our own books and reading in the library?”

She continued to give him that blank stare, the wheels in her head slowly turning as she processed everything.

A sheepish blush slowly spread across her face.

“I-I guess… I mean… you’ve kinda got a point,” she conceded shyly. “But… I picked that because I thought it was something YOU’D want to do…”

“And I would have liked to go,” Nick said. “Heck- we can still go. But if I had to choose between something that I would enjoy by myself and something that would help me get to know you better, well, today’s all about the latter, so-”

“No!” Morgana shook her head swiftly and firmly. “No, that… that’s wrong,” she stated. “I know what you’re trying to do, and that… it’s not good!”

She rose from her table, carried up by her determination to not fall into this obvious trap. “You’re… you’re just trying to be considerate of me!” She insisted.

Fortunately for Nick, Morgana’s angry voice was distinct enough that it didn’t trigger Sotto Voce, or else he’d be having a very strange boner right now.

Because Morgana was really talking.

“We can’t make today be all about me!” Morgana shouted, shaking her head. “This is just you… you giving something up for my sake! And I don’t want that, no! I- I want… I want the two of us to have fun together!” She pleaded with him. “Doing something that you would enjoy, Nick!”

Why couldn’t he understand that today wasn’t about her? It was about both of them!

She walked around the table and looked deeply into his eyes. They were wide, and he had a stunned expression on his face. Nick wasn’t used to Morgana making such a passionate case, especially given her usual behavior and attitude towards him.

“M-Morgana…”

“We need to do something you want to do too,” she said firmly, refusing to back down on this. “It’s… it’s only fair that you… that YOU like this date, too.”

She was touched, sincerely touched, that Nick was enjoying himself enough doing something she’d picked out to be fine with giving up something he would like personally.

But that wasn’t enough to change what Morgana knew needed to happen.

This mattered! It really mattered! Nick had been so wonderful and lovely all day today, and Morgana wanted to support him, too!

Otherwise she would just feel so selfish and undeserving off all the sweetness she was receiving from him, and that would be just dreadful.

Nick could see how much this meant to her, and found himself nodding, not wanting to fight her on it.

“O-okay,” he conceded slowly. “Then… if you want to go to the library, we can go.”

Relief washed over Morgana, and she sighed. Now that the immediate problem had been settled, though, things were open for Morgana to start feeling…

Regretful.

“We… we won’t have time for the library before lunch,” she said, looking around the store. “We should head out to eat now…”

Nick could see the complicated emotions playing out over her face. He could tell that a part of her wanted to spend the whole day here, just playing and chatting with him. But she was trying to be mature and do multiple things on their date together; things he would also enjoy.

In Nick’s opinion, that wasn’t quite necessary. But… he didn’t want to **** the issue for her.

It was more important that they had fun? Well, Morgana clearly wanted to have fun on her schedule, so Nick would oblige.

“We can always come back again some other day,” he suggested. “Hey, maybe we can even invite Dani or Carly or someone, they might really like this!”

Morgana’s face lit up, and all her prior **** washed away immediately. “You… you really think so?” She asked, a hopeful gleam filling her eyes. “Yeah… that… that would be so much fun!”

Nick smiled, glad that the issue had passed. Now, they just needed to go and get lunch, and hope that the day worked out according to the plan.

Lunch was going fine enough, Nick thought. But it was a little stressful.

Mainly because rather than focusing on her food, Morgana was focusing on reworking her schedule to try and fit in a trip to the library.

“Come on, Morgana,” Nick said, trying to get her to relax a little. “It’s really not a big deal. If you can’t find somewhere to fit it in, then we’ll just go some other time.”

“No!” Morgana’s head snapped up, her eyes wide. She shook like a leaf. “We… we NEED to do this, Nick! It’s vitally important!”

She didn’t know how she’d be able to live with herself if she just selfishly pushed the thing Nick would enjoy off to the sideline, and leave it for another day. That just wouldn’t work at all!

This date was supposed to be about the both of them. About them enjoying themselves and having fun together.

More than anything, Morgana wanted that. So she was going to make herself miserable trying to fix the problem!

…Wait…

“Morgana,” Nick said gently, placing his hand over hers, “if you’re going to be stressing out over this, then it kind of defeats the purpose, don’t you think?” He asked her. “I’m having fun on our date. Are you?”

Morgana sanke into her seat, her cheeks flaring up crimson. “I… I’m…”

She chewed regretfully on her lip and let out a sigh. “…I’m really not,” she conceded, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, Nick… I… I know I should be, it’s just… I feel so bad for messing everything up! I’ve gotta fix it…”

“You got carried away with something you’re passionate about because you were having a good time,” Nick said gently. “That’s not ‘messing everything up’ Morgana, that’s just… I don’t know, doing a normal thing! It’s alright, really.”

Morgana blinked. “It… it is?”

With how thoroughly Dawn and Holly (mostly Dawn) had scheduled everything, she’d assumed that was just how adults did their dates. And by not sticking to the schedule, she’d made a huge mistake.

But now Nick was telling her that it was alright.

Well… what was she supposed to believe, then!?

With a sigh on her lips, Morgana hung her head in exasperation.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized gently. “I just… I really want today to be a good date… but…”

“And it has been,” Nick assured her. He had no idea the kind of life Morgana had been living where she thought going off the schedule even slightly was basically a war crime, but he wasn’t thrilled that she felt so ****. “I’ve been enjoying myself, Morgana. Really. I have! And you’ve been having fun too, right?”

He didn’t even need to ask. Morgana’s expressions while they were in the card shop had been bright enough to light up a skyscraper.

The goth girl nodded tentatively, a sigh on her lips.

“Still…”

“Morgana.” Nick leaned forward and looked her in the eyes. She jumped, a little stunned by the sudden act of forcefulness on his part.

“…Y-yes?”

“The card shop was fun. Yes or no?”

Morgana swallowed her doubts and jerked her head up and down swiftly. “It-it was, a l-lot of fun,” she stammered out, feeling completely drained after saying that. She gave Nick a tense look afterwards, but he just smiled at her.

“See? That’s the only thing you need to think about right now,” he assured her with another smile. “Whether or not you’re having fun.”

It sounded so… wrong for him to say that. And yet, Morgana couldn’t help but feel a little happy, too…

“It’s okay if I messed up?” Morgana squeaked out. “Again?”

Nick nodded. “Yes, it would be okay, but personally I don’t think you messed up,” he assured her. “Quite the opposite. You were trying really hard, and things didn’t end up going according to schedule. But it’s not a reason to freak out or anything. As long as we’re having fun, that’s what matters.”

Morgana sank back into her seat, and Nick got quite an eyeful as she did. It was like seeing a person melt in real-time. She went from being stiff and frozen with uncertainty and doubt to something that seemed more accurately classified as a liquid as her body went limp, all the tension draining out of her.

“I’m so relieved…” she mumbled. “I was really stressing out about what to cut… I just… I didn’t know what to do…”

“Well, just think about what we’d have the most fun doing, and start from there,” Nick advised. “Maybe that’ll be the library, maybe it won’t be. But the important thing is not to worry about it, and just try and focus on enjoying yourself.”

It was strange, being the person telling someone not to worry too much and overthink things. Nick didn’t miss the irony of the situation at all.

But it was something Morgana needed to hear. He could see it written all over her face. And that’s why he calmly and patiently tried to encourage her, coaxing the trembling girl to embrace the possibility that even if they couldn’t do a single thing on her schedule that they could still have a nice date together.

“…I’m focusing too much on the schedule, aren’t I?” Morgana asked, sensing the truth before Nick could say it outright.

He slowly nodded, hesitant at first, but determined to be honest with her.

“Maybe a little bit,” he conceded. “I just don’t think it’s something you need to be that worried about, Morgana. Alright?”

He tried to reassure her with a smile. “Just try and focus on having a good time together. That’s the important thing, don’t you agree?”

She smiled gratefully back to him and nodded. “Yeah…” she admitted sheepishly. “You’re right, that… that’s what we should be focusing on, I know… but… haaaah…”

A long, tired sigh passed her lips.

“…I just don’t want to mess this up, you know?”

No, really? Nick was shocked to hear that, nothing could have prepared him for this stunning revelation.

“And you’re not,” Nick assured her. “Yeah, we’ve had some awkward moments today, no doubt about that. But… we just have to go at our own pace and try to have fun in our own way, don’t you think? That’s more important than a schedule.”

The way he said it sounded so convincing Morgana was actually swayed a little. She looked down at the thorough schedule in her hands, and nodded.

“You’re really smart, Nick, you’re actually way better at this stuff than I thought,” she admitted with a sheepish laugh.

Nick wasn’t sure if he should be glad to hear that or not. He looked curiously at her, and saw her cheeks start to turn pink.

“That is… I meant…” Morgana chewed hesitantly on her lip. “…I’m really glad you’re here,” she managed to say.

Man. Morgana could be really cute sometimes. Nick couldn’t deny it if he tried.

“Thanks, Morgana, I appreciate that,” he said sincerely. “I’m glad you’re here, too. And not just because you make me look really experienced in terms of relationship advice, either. I really enjoy getting a chance to see you open up like this and enjoy yourself.”

Morgana’s eyes widened in surprise. “R-really?” She asked hesitantly. “You… you do? That’s… I mean…”

She could kind of guess that was how Nick felt. But it seemed so strange to hear him say it directly to her like that.

Still…

A beaming smile spread dopily across Morgana’s face.

And when Nick saw that smile, he realized something he’d never considered before. About why Morgana was so sensitive about all this.

“Morgana… I think I get it,” he said gently. “Why you’re so focused on the schedule, I mean, and it’s alright.”

“It… it is?” Morgana herself wasn’t completely sure what Nick was talking about. She stared at him with a curious expression on her face.

“You’re afraid of there being a ‘wrong’ thing to do on the date, but there’s not,” Nick assured her. “There’s no magic formula of things to do together that when they’re checked off we both look at each other and say ‘Yeah, that was a good date!’ Dating… it’s just about trying to have a good time together, like all the other dates we’ve been on.”

Morgana was trying to be a little too much like Dawn and Amelia, he feared. Trying to match everything to a set schedule.

“I guess… you’re right,” Morgana sheepishly agreed with a nod. “I’ll stop being so worried about it… and just focus on having a good time.”

“Good,” Nick grinned. “Having a schedule to fall back on is definitely a good thing. Just so long as you’re not so caught up in the schedule that you don’t make time for just regular having fun. Alright? Like we’ve been doing.”

Nick had really enjoyed his time with Morgana so far. And he hoped that the rest of the day could be just as enjoyable. So as she relaxed and they enjoyed pizza for lunch, they were both looking forward to how things would go from here.