Startup 67: Heart to Heart

Rova 25, night

Eternal flames are pretty nice, but they share a lot of problems with electric lights. It’s very easy to lose track of time when your only source of light is unaffected by the sun. I had no idea what time it was unless I looked at the clock on the mantel. Being entirely untethered from time made Cog’s explanation of the situation take so much longer. I won’t bother with the details, because all he really said was that he couldn’t secure a twenty thousand gold piece loan.

He stalked from one end of the room to the other, obviously agitated, as he went on at length about High Priestess Dindreanne. I was a bit surprised to find out that she was his mother; he had mentioned his mom was a cleric, but never that she was the queen bee.

Or wasp, I suppose.

Thinking through the implications of that occupied my mind while I waited for him to cool down.

“I’m so sorry, Cog.” Sosima said from beside me. “That’s absolutely horrid. She simply refused?”

Sosima and I sat together in the large chair Linu had provided for Filli. It wasn’t quite big enough for two people who didn’t like each other, but neither of us were bothered by a bit of pleasant proximity.

“Yeah!” Cog growled. “It’s to punish me, I’m certain of it. I try to do something she doesn’t like one time-“

“Does she normally give out twenty thousand gold piece loans?” I asked, cutting him off. “It didn’t come up in any of the discussions about the temple’s business model. Filli is surprisingly good with numbers once I started teaching her, so it might be a path for her to look into.”

Cog turned to look at me, fury replaced with confusion.

“No?” He said. “It’s a brothel, information broker, and sometimes a house of healing, not a bank. They certainly have a lot of debtors, but it’s not because they give out loans.”

“Ok so you’re telling me that your mom refused to give you enough money to buy a midrange ship?” I asked, “When that’s not something she normally does for people?”

“No, but she could.” Cog said, “She spends thousands every year on herself.”

“She probably budgets around doing that.” I said, shrugging. “It was a long shot. Thanks for asking, but I’m not surprised she said no.”

“How can you be so calm about this?” Cog demanded. “Sure, she’d need to shift some money around, but she could manage it by the end of the month. She’s just being petty.”

And you’re being an entitled prick. That’s not your money, and she’s probably not just sitting on a pile of gold like a dragon.

I groaned, tried to think of a diplomatic thing to say, and gave up.

“Because she doesn’t owe us anything, Cog,” I said. “Grow up. I’m an adult. So are you.”

A flush of red crept up Cog’s neck to his face.

“Watch yourself, “ he said, “You don’t know anything about this.”

This specifically? No, but I’ve seen this type of family drama at the frat way too often to care. Usually with dads, but still.

“No, I don’t,” I said. “I can tell it pisses you off more than anything I’ve seen from you before, so it’s probably pretty bad. Unfortunately, you haven’t said anything productive or even informative in the last half hour. Go meditate or something; you need to calm down.”

“Emrys!” Sosima said, squeezing my arm.

I pulled loose.

“Look, if you can’t have a conversation with her without going nuts, you shouldn’t be asking her for favors,” I said. “You asked. She said no. It sucks. Do whatever you’ve got to do to get over it, and we can get back to the task at hand.”

“Fuck off,” Cog said, “I’ve been helping you, no questions asked!”

… and the moment I do something you don’t like one time…

“I’m paying back a favor.” I said, holding his gaze, “The first real conversation we had, I’d just seen Sandara die. I was pissed. You told me to calm down and change my perspective. You refused to even talk to me until I’d thought things through.”

“That has nothing to do with this!” He roared.

I stood up and glared at him. He was several inches taller than me, but I didn’t care.

“Why? Because no one is dead?” I asked, “Do you need a corpse in line of sight for Pharasma’s teachings to matter, or are those just for other people?”

Cog took a swing at me, which I dodged easily. He wasn’t focused.

“You know I’m right.” I said softly. “You’re better than this.”

I met Cog’s gaze. He blinked first, turned, and pulled on a hooded cloak he’d hung by the door.

“I’m going back to the ship.” He grumbled, “Syl’s been stuck on guard duty.”

I let out a breath when he left, and turned to look at Sosima. When I did, I saw Rosie standing in the doorway to her bedroom, arms crossed. They were both glaring at me.

“What in nine Hells was that?” Rosie demanded.

“Exactly what I said it was.” I said, then let out a sigh. “I was repaying a favor for a friend.”

“I don’t think the friend agrees.” Sosima said skeptically. “You were awfully harsh.”

“Yeah, I was.” I said. “Maybe I could have said it more diplomatically, but I don’t care much for hypocrisy.”

“She’s family!” Rosie said. “Family helps! That’s the only reason you have a damn lawyer!”

“Dindreanne seems to disagree.” I said, leaning against the wall. “So did my mom. So do a lot of parents I know of.”

“I see; I suppose it would look like coddling after the harshness you’ve endured.” Sosima said, her tone gentle, “You can hardly compare the parenting of drow to-“

“Not another word.” I said, locking eyes with her. “I’m not going to let you call my mother abusive because she didn’t give me everything I wanted.”

I don’t actually know Carys very well, but my real mom wasn’t exactly generous either. Having a tiger mom sucked sometimes, but it fucking worked.

“I was given everything she thought I deserved, and it was more than most people’s parents can provide.” I said. “Maybe Cog’s mom is genuinely awful, but she raised him, trained him in a trade, fed him well, and didn’t disown him when he abandoned her religion. That’s a higher bar than a lot of people seem to think, and I’ll give her credit for that much.”

Rosie’s glare softened, and she nodded. Sosima shook her head.

“I think I understand what you mean, but you must understand,” Sosima said. “It is quite common for those in power to use that power to train obedience. To be magnanimous when pleased and to withhold aid when displeased. It’s a common tactic among chelish nobility.”

Rosie snorted.

“I’m pretty sure that’s a common tactic with control freaks everywhere.” She said, “Landowners on Bag Island do the same thing.”

“That’s called a negotiation. He has something she wants, and it just so happens to be compliance.” I said bluntly. “He should stop asking for tens of thousands of gold pieces from his mom if he doesn’t want her to have leverage. He’s not even trapped; he’s got enough gold to live off of for a few years if he’s frugal, just from his time on the Enterprise. It’s not like his mom threatened to send assassins after us, and I know for a fact that she has those.”

“Seriously?” Rosie said, “Your standard for a good mother is that she won’t send assassins to kill us?”

“I said that she’s done her job well enough that she deserves some respect.” I said, “I stand by that. That doesn’t mean she’s a good mother, and honestly she does sound like a real bitch.”

“Then why antagonize Cog?” Sosima demanded, “He’s clearly distraught.”

“Yeah.” I said, letting out a sigh. “I might have been a bit harsher than I needed to be. Maybe it’s the hypocrisy, maybe it’s that I just learned that he’s been neglecting his other relationships.”

“Other relationships?” Sosima asked, cocking her head to the side. “Do tell. He’s always been quite taciturn when I’ve tried to ask about family.”

“Linu, the priestess sponsoring us.” I said, “To hear her tell it, he kicked her door down, shoved Filli into her hands, and left. I don’t imagine he was any more tactful when he talked to his mother.”

As I spoke, I walked across the room to several stacks of papers wrapped in twine.

“Speaking of family, there’s something I want you to have.” I said, “I haven’t had time to read them myself, but I figured I could save you a few Rituals of Inquiry.”

“Oh?” Rosie asked, trotting over. “What’s that?”

I handed the papers to Sosima whose golden eyes grew as she read the first few pages. I had skimmed the introduction, but only knew the broad strokes.

“House Aulamaxa remains a minor but ancient Chelish noble line, rooted in Kintargo since the time of Aspex the Even-Tongued. Traditionally apolitical, sustained by artistic patronage and deliberate harmlessness. Current net worth modest but secure, primarily through Ostenso warehousing, bardic academy endowments. Empress Abrogail Thrune II’s recent reforms have **** them to grudgingly become more engaged in military matters.”

“Why?” Sosima asked, her voice quavering.

“Because I knew it bothered you.” I said. “I’ll admit I ordered the commission before everything with Dovnu started; I’m not sure if I’d have been willing to spend a hundred gold on this if I’d known I needed to get my hands on thirty thousand.”

Sosima stared at me, her ever present poise broken for once. I saw tears glistening in her eyes.

“Do you need a moment?” I asked, reaching forward and stroking her hair. “I didn’t mean to ambush you with this.”

“No.” She said. “It’s wonderful.”

She leafed through the first set of papers breathlessly, mostly an overview of her family’s structure and finances. Her mother, Eldonna Aulamaxa, was an old widow still in charge of the house. She was in her 80s, and from the included sketch she had a similar face to Sosima.

“I know you don’t want to be a bother,” I said, “but I really do think you should consider getting in touch while your mother is still alive. I’m planning on trying to find something new to carry letters to Goatshead; I can ask about Kintargo too, if you’d like.”

Sosima shook her head vigorously.

“No, no, that would be a terrible idea,” She said. “If anyone found out I’m still alive and on a Shackles pirate crew, it would be no end of trouble for my family.”

“Bullshit!” Rosie said, “They deserve to know you’re alive!”

“Rosie!” I snapped. “We don’t know enough to weigh in, and she’s obviously still processing.”

“Oh?” She asked, “Are we being considerate now?”

I winced at that.

Fair point.

“They probably do,” Sosima said, “but I shudder to think what they might do in response. I can tell from the first page alone that they have their own problems.”

“We might be able to help them,” I pointed out. “I haven’t read through the report, but I am pretty sure the things I do are out of the ordinary.”

“For a reasonable fee, I imagine?” Sosima asked, composing herself.

“Probably.” I said, “I like to help my friends, but I’m a bit strapped for cash at the moment.”

“No,” Sosima said, “If you were anyone else, perhaps, but you are a drow and a free captain of the Shackles. It would be a scandal, at best.”

Ok, direct aid is out. Maybe I could hook them up somehow or use a proxy?

“Maybe the Shae? House Ankari could probably use another trading partner.” I said, “I’d serve as a facilitator, but it would be very hard to track anything back to me if I’m just providing Nightmares for shipping.”

“The Shae are considered enemies of Nidal.” Sosima said, “It would be better, but my family is ill equipped to make an enemy of the church of Zon-Kuthon during a time of war.”

I blinked.

Really? Small world.

“Ok.” I said. “I’ll tell you if I think of anything else. There has to be something.”

“Stop!” Sosima said, “I told you no! I don’t want you entangled with my family!”

I straightened my back, looking at Sosima. She really seemed angry.

“Alright.” I said. “I was just trying to help.”

She looked away, clutching the file to her chest.

“I’m sorry.” She said, “If I think of a way you can help, I’ll tell you, but for now it would be best if they remain unaware of my return.”

I nodded quietly, but I couldn’t stop thinking of possibilities in the back of my mind. Even if I never implemented any of the plans I was coming up with to contact and assist House Aulamaxa, I wanted to know how to do it. After all, she wasn’t the only person on my crew who was separated from family.

Anything for Salyar or Syl would be pretty rough thanks to the whole anti-outsider thing going on in Rahadoum. It might be nice to get in contact with Carys, just to build up that contact. She’s not my mom, but she is Emrys’s and she seemed decent for a drow.

I gave Sosima space, and settled across the room from her with my own Callistrian intelligence report. This one was for a somewhat less personal matter.

“The Dread House Thrune.

After the **** of Aroden, former patron god of humanity, the noble House Thrune seized the throne after thirty years of war. It is believed that they secured backing from extraplanar entities by promising to instate the Church of Asmodeus as state religion and propagate and codify the style of magic known as Spirit Binding, which was nearly unknown before the Thrune ascendancy. Little is known of the details surrounding these pacts, but more than a century later both have become synonymous with Cheliax.”

I flipped through the papers until I reached the individual profiles, each of which included a sketch. I leafed through until I found a familiar face. My smile grew as I read the file.

Admiral Druvalia Thrune, 37th in line for the throne. Binding prodigy, youngest admiral in the Chelish fleet, bisexual, and known to send her clones abroad in secret.

“Hello there, Varossa.” I said, smiling, “How interesting to see you here.”

Going by the pictures alone there was at least a small chance that Varossa was actually Druvalia’s sister, but nothing except for her face fit. Asaoul was apparently a perpetually drunk party girl that was mostly known for constantly cheating on her husband. She wasn’t even a strong enough binder to make clones.

If she was secretly running a spy network, I don’t think Asaoul would be fooled by Sandara pretending to be a horny ditz. Game recognizes game.

“Druvalia is considered arrogant even by her peers, and spends much of her time outside of the capital city of Egorian. She has only been seen in the presence of Queen Abrogail Thrune II rarely, and there is not believed to be any warmth between them despite being of similar age. She is known to create clones, as is common for Thrune binders, and distribute them to exotic locales.

When she deigns to speak on the subject, she claims this is so that she can focus on her work while also accumulating good memories. However, she routinely reports successful battles with Shackles pirates that do not exist in our records, which we believe may serve as a form of money laundering. These have mostly been funneled through agents in Bloodcove, distressingly close to the Shackles.”

If I’m not entirely off the mark, I know where she gets that money: treasure hunting and at least a few businesses here in the Shackles like that ranch Cog found in Dragonsthrall. It’s not a bad business model, assuming she can keep her expenses low. Then again, her clones don’t seem to eat or drink, so there’s one of the biggest expenses knocked out right there. The fake wins against imaginary pirates are probably good for her career, too.

So, the real question is this: do I report what I know to Fairwind now or later? If I do, she’s probably going to get arrested or placed under observation. Either way, I doubt she’d want to work with me anymore, and I don’t know where the rest of the Three Reasons to Live are or what to do with them to get Redclaw’s treasure. That’s half a level worth of missions, even before factoring in the rewards or the treasure itself.

Eh, the Shackles haven’t exactly earned my undying loyalty. I’ll get my bag first, then decide what to do about Druvalia later. The moment I know where all three keys are, though, we are done.

••••••••••

I cast Keep Watch so that Sosima and I could both read through the night. I half expected her to stop at midnight to make an inquiry, but I’m pretty sure she only thought to verify anything well after midnight. After checking the clock and quietly cursing to herself, she looked for a sheet of loose paper and scribbled down a question.

“Does Cadmus really intend for his son to become a Hellknight?”

I didn’t have much context, but I’d be worried too if someone in my family was planning on joining an organization called the Hellknights. She added several more questions over the next few hours, presumably so she’d have a list for future inquiries.

She really needs to come up with a better plan than Facebook stalking her family by binding eldritch demigods, but I haven’t even managed to get her to go 24 hours without magically disguising herself as a Tiefling. I’ve got to pick my battles here.

I finished reading long before she did, turned my keyboard’s volume down to the minimum, and played through some of my go-tos, Undertale’s main theme. It was audio comfort food, taking up just enough focus to let my mind wander. Mom hadn’t really cared if I practiced by mastering game OSTs, as long as I clocked in my hours. I smiled, thinking back on the hoops she’d made me jump through regardless.

I’d used a week’s worth of my free time working with Dad on a power point and made an appointment with mom days in advance. He’d used the opportunity to teach me how to make a proposal presentation, like the ones he made at work. The next time I wanted something, I’d made another proposal in the same format, including price checks, and gotten the weight set I wanted.

I ran through dozens of songs, whatever sprang to mind. I turned over the Thrune report in my head, hoping that I might trigger some shower thoughts, but mostly I just decompressed. It was probably around four in the morning when I noticed that Sosima was listening. I finished and looked at her. She’d only ever listened to me play politely, so I assumed she needed something.

“Are those songs from your homeland?” She asked, “I don’t believe I’ve heard them.”

“Yes and no.” I said, sighing. “I’ll be shocked if you ever hear them anywhere else, but I’ve known them for a long time.”

I felt a smile creep across my face at the idea of a bunch of drow listening to Bonetrousle in concert. I’d heard a few familiar shanties since coming here, but I had no idea how everything worked.

“I’ve never had the opportunity to delve deeply into foreign music. What is the name of that one?” She asked, “It seems quite melancholy to make you smile so.”

“Gwyn, Lord of Cinder.” I said, “It’s not really the song itself, just memories attached to it for me. The song itself is about as depressing as they come. Just an accompaniment for a man who can’t let go of the past.”

“Oh?” She asked, perking up, “Is it part of a larger work? Are there words to accompany it?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to explain the concept of a video game soundtrack to Sosima right there. It was the first time she had really asked about the music I played, and I didn’t want to immediately run off into the reeds.

“It is, but also no.” I said, “It’s meant to be played alongside something else, to enhance a story.”

“What story?” She asked, leaning on the arm of her chair. “I find myself in need of distraction.”

Ok, I guess we are doing this. Gotta condense this down to the parts she’s likely to get.

“Well, Gwyn was a king who found a magical fire that made him and his allies powerful, basically demigods, and he used it to make an empire.” I explained, “He fought monsters, built cities, created a whole golden age. Everything was great for a thousand years or so.”

Sosima nodded; she was still with me. I continued, eagle eyed for the glazed expression that always lurked around the corner when telling pretty girls about video games.

Then again, in a world like this it might be a plausible historical drama.

“Well, that’s not the story. The story is when the fire starts to go out.” I said, “He’s built everything around this fire, and it’s getting weaker. One of his friends tries to create a whole new fire, and that’s a complete disaster. City destroyed, demons flooding out, just awful.”

“What will happen if it goes out?” Sosima asked, surprising me, “Is his life tied to it?”

“I don’t actually know.” I admitted, “Neither does he, actually. No one does. So everyone scrambles to keep it alive, but the only kindling that works is heroism.”

Sosima blinked in confusion.

“Powerful people that refuse to die, basically.” I explained. “If they just stand in the fire, they will burn until they give in and let themselves die, but the fire won’t shrink as quickly. So Gwyn sacrifices himself, and all his men, and basically the entire empire he built, to the fire. Just to make it last a little bit longer. By the end, hardly anyone remembers his name, and he’s standing alone in a bonfire.”

“Perhaps it was to buy time?” Sosima said, looking down at her hands. “Were there people he was protecting? Such a sacrifice could be noble.”

“He had a family, yeah, but I don’t know.” I said with a shrug. “I always got the impression he was just scared. The fire was going to burn out eventually. I imagine they’d prefer to have their dad and his legions of loyal knights when that happened.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” Sosima said. “It can be very frightening to leave behind a way of life.”

It clicked, why she seemed to care about this random story.

There’s no going back. Not for either of us.

I reached out and squeezed her hand. She clutched mine in return.

“We can build a new one.” I promised. “It might not last a thousand years, but I’m sure we can think of something.”