It's the final countdown

“So, what do you want to do?” Charley asked, breaking me out of my musing.

“I thought you said Kill Bill was next?” I replied.

She shrugged. “Yeah, we could watch it. But we’re ahead of schedule anyway – we could do something else if you want.”

“Such as?”

“I don’t know, it’s just that all we do is hang out here. I was thinking of maybe going out and doing something else.”

“Are you saying … I’m boring you?” I placed a hand on my heart, feigning hurt.

She rolled her eyes. “I obviously meant with you, you moron.”

I felt a slightly embarrassing shiver run down my spine. It almost feels like she’s … asking me out. I was probably just overthinking it, but I could have sworn she looked a little jumpy. Like she knew there was a subtext to what she was asking.

“Yeah, I’m down.” I shrugged. “But I kind of figured you wouldn’t want to risk one of your friends seeing us out together in public or something. Because of our thing.”

“What are you talking about?” she laughed. “Our thing might be secret, but we’re still stepsiblings, remember? We are actually allowed to be seen out in public together.”

Her words gave me mixed feelings. I felt happy, as I always did whenever Charley would suggest spending time together, but I wasn’t sure how to feel about her pointed reminder that we were just stepsiblings. Was it that she was pressing home that family was all we would ever be? Or maybe she was just being careful, not wanting to risk losing the sparks of something new. I had no idea whether I was reading into everything too much or too little.

“Don’t worry, I’m not planning on yanking down your pants and going to town out in the middle of the street,” she continued. “I can control myself for a couple hours.”

“If you say so,” I smiled weakly back at her. “I just know how you get, that’s all.”

“Uh huh,” she replied, rolling her eyes again.

“Where’s all this coming from, anyway?” I asked. “You never seemed to have a problem with the two of us just hanging out here before.”

Charley reached over and took my hand. “Luke, I’d be happy to spend time with you anywhere. But I don’t know, I’ve just been thinking … things are different now. I want to do more stuff with you. I’m gonna start at JP Morgan soon, and we won’t be able to see each other as much. And then not long after that you’re off to Tokyo.”

‘Right.” I looked down at my hands. The last few weeks really had hammered home just how much I was going to miss her. I couldn’t believe how much things had changed since the beginning of the Summer, when I was looking at my year abroad as a convenient way to escape the nagging sexual thoughts. Now, only a few months later, I was still excited about going – but that excitement came with a very real feeling of melancholy about how long I was going to be apart from her.

Unfortunately, I must have been displaying just how crestfallen I was clearly on my face because Charley noticed it and chuckled.

“Heh. You really are gonna miss me, aren’t you?” she said with a smug smile.

I shot her an unimpressed look. “And I’m apparently the immature one. But…” I sighed. “Obviously my year abroad is another story, but we can still hang out while you’re working, right? I mean, you’re not going to be in the office twenty-four seven.”

“You know I’d like that, Luke,” she replied. “But I’ve heard some pretty scathing reports about the work-life balance for new recruits. The first couple months at least, I’ll be working irregular hours with some pretty late nights thrown in there. It would be unfair to just expect you to fit everything around my schedule.”

“You’re kidding right? I’m Mr. Nocturnal, remember? I don’t mind waiting. I’ll stay up all night if I have to.”

Charley stared at me for a long moment, before breaking out into a huge smile. “Wow. You really, really care about me, don’t you?”

My face immediately started to feel hot. “No. I take it back.”

“Aww,” she laughed. “It’s fine, you don’t have to be embarrassed. You should have told me this before – if I knew my little brother was so **** to spend time with me, I would have taken a job with less intense hours.”

I glared at her. “I really dislike you, you know.”

“Okay, okay,” she giggled. “It’s decided. But when I swing by at one in the morning, still in a full suit and probably smelling a little funky, I don’t want any snide comments. Okay?”

“Full suit, huh…” The image popped into my mind as soon as she described it – her lithe and toned figure clad in office wear, professional-looking and authoritative; her cropped blonde hair pinned back like a hot businesswoman. I’d never really thought that this whole corporate thing did it for me, but in that moment I genuinely felt like I might start drooling at the idea of Charley coming home to me after a long day at work.

Charley clearly noticed it after a second, because she snorted and cracked a massive grin. “Oh my god, stop!” she laughed, punching me lightly on the arm. “If you’re going to perv on me in your mind, at least have the decency to wait until the conversation’s over.”

“Sorry. Just something about the idea of a hot older girl in a suit.”

She paused. “So, you’ve been giving me shit all these years for being old when the whole time it was actually a turn on?”

I shrugged. “Of course it was always a turn on. Doesn’t change the fact that you’re practically a grandma, though.”

“I see. That’s what you’re into, huh?”

“I guess so,” I smiled. “There’s just something about you GILFs.”

She smirked and got up to swing a leg over my own, sitting on my lap and facing towards me. “Is that so? Well, this grandma’s gonna make use of her hot young boytoy then.”

“Boytoy?” I sniggered. “God, you're old.”

Charley raised an eyebrow. “Now’s the part where you shut up, Luke.”

“Got it.” I gently pulled her down into a kiss, caressing the back of her neck and relishing in the feeling of her playing with my hair.

But all too quickly, she slipped her tongue in my mouth; and after sensing that this might be leading to something less family friendly the doubts wormed their way into my head again. A few seconds later, I pulled back.

“You wanna take this to the bedroom?” she murmured, apparently not understanding why I’d stopped the kiss.

I hesitated. I’d made the decision to tell her I loved her today – did I really want to say it just after sex? I felt like that would be a bit awkward, like maybe I’d just gotten caught up in the moment. Or maybe it would be more meaningful after we’d slept together – fuck, I really was a complete mess of nerves and indecision.

No idea how I wanted to play it, I panicked. “Um … I thought you wanted to go out and do something,” I blurted out.

She frowned. “Seriously?”

Oh, shit. “Uh, that’s fine though. Bedroom … right.”

She shot me a strange look and leaned back a little. “Dude, you’re being weird.”

It was pretty clear that I wasn’t far off blowing it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep my nerves at bay. I couldn’t allow myself to devolve in the nervous wreck I’d been when she’d first come back in June – our relationship was so far past that now.

Besides … however today went, this was Charley we’re talking about. I trusted her.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I just got a bit distracted, thinking about all that stuff from before – you starting work, me leaving.”

“Hmm.”

I slid my hands up her legs up to her waist, and after a second she relented and let me pull her back in. “I’m here now. One hundred percent.”

“Are you sure?”

“I promise.” I looked up at her and smiled, seeing the hints of concern in her beautiful features. “Can I have another chance?”

Her face softened. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”