Test Anxiety

Walking back into that classroom was absolutely nerve wracking. I haven’t felt so out of place since my actual first day on campus. Of course, to everyone else, I didn’t look much different to them. But I knew exactly what I was, where I was, and how wrong it was for me to be here.

“Heya! My name’s Gabbie!” Said a very quick and perky voice next to me. I let out a very quick yelp in surprise and jolted to meet the woman’s eyes, who only giggled at my reaction.

“So sorry! I totally didn’t mean to scare you!” She says quickly, but her giggle didn’t exactly assure me much to the truth of that. “Today is already nerve wracking enough, right?” She asks, cocking her head to the side slightly as she waited for me to respond, though I just stood there stuttering a bit as my brain wasn’t processing this situation fast enough.

“Sorry! I’m um… I’m the TA?” Gabbie continued, trying to speak more calmly now, but it almost sounds more like she was speaking to a child. “Can I get your name, hun? I can point you to where you’re gonna be seated.” She says, before motioning to the rest of the room, and I quickly realized how many people were staring at me right now.

“Um… I… yes! I’m sorry.” I stutter a bit as I fumble with the books in my hand, looking more ditzy by the second as I try and pull myself together. “My name’s Jennifer. Jennifer Lee?” I say, my voice almost questioning of my own identity. Though I guess for now I’d have to get used to it, as I’m stuck like this for a week.

“Jennifer… Jennifer… oh!” Gabbie says as she scans the list, but then chuckles a little bit more as her cheeks grow red. “Ooooooh~! Riiiiight~! Jennifer.” She giggles again, a hint of something in her voice that makes me think she knows more than she’s leading on. “Follow me to your desk, Ms. Lee.” She says before escorting me to the front of the room.

“The test is three hour long sessions.” Gabbie says as she puts the test in front of me and the person next to me. “You can move forward at your pace but once a section is over you cannot turn back.” She finishes with a quick smile on her face before cocking her head to the side. “Any questions?”

Silently I just shake my head, and then watch as she skips off to the front of the room. I glance back down at my test, my head spinning slightly, but I take a deep breath to calm myself down.

I’ve passed this test before… I can do it again! I just need to think… And that is when I picked up my pencil and got to work!