Surprise!, Part 5

Andy didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he stepped into the noise and warmth of the ballroom and let it out. The influx of guests had driven the party past its tipping point: laughter rippled in every direction, the food table had become an impromptu open-mic stage for Chloe and Candy, and somewhere in the back half of the hall, Dawn and Emily were teaching a dozen people how to play an extremely physical game that involved a lot of yelling, blindfolds, and cookies.

For a moment, Andy just watched. The domed glass ceiling had fogged up from all the bodies, beads of condensation tracing rainlines across the panes. It felt like the inside of a snow globe, the whole room suspended in a bright, impossible present.

He found Arabella by the window. Not the Host-Arabella, poised and camera-ready, but the softer, more human version he’d started to see these past weeks: hair loose, dress just a little rumpled at the waist, where a rose-shaped ornament held thin threads of diamonds, her gaze fixed outward as if she’d lost the thread of her own party for a minute.

She didn’t turn when Andy approached, but he saw her register him in the reflection. “Enjoying yourself?” she asked, voice pitched low so it wouldn’t carry past the two of them.

Andy let out a breath, nodding. “You’re really letting me have it, aren’t you?”

She smiled, then half-turned, one elbow on the sill. “You make it sound like an ambush. But yes, I suppose we did.”

He glanced around the room, then back at her. “You should see yourself from out here,” he said. “You look almost… relaxed.”

Arabella arched a brow, then shrugged. “A good Host never upstages her guests.”

“Is that why you invited half the Harem Hotel alumni association?”

She laughed—a real, unguarded laugh—and the tension in Andy’s neck unwound by half. “It seemed right,” she said. “You’ve done more for these women than most Masters do in a whole season. They wanted to thank you. I merely… facilitated the kind of party they wanted to throw you.”

Andy didn’t buy the humility, but he let it stand. Instead, he gestured to the wall of photos, now completely covered as guests had layered new snapshots and candid polaroids on top of the old ones. “That was your doing, wasn’t it?”

She followed his gaze. “Partly. Your harem did the heavy lifting—Claire and Erin, especially. But yes. I might have provided… raw materials.”

Andy eyed the Polaroid. It still sat dead center, the one of him and Laura on the hood of the car. “Where did you even find that?” he asked, not masking the awe or the suspicion.

Arabella’s eyes softened. “It’s amazing what you can find in the lost-and-found of the multiverse,” she said.

He blinked. “Seriously?”

Arabella didn’t answer, just watched him watch the wall.

After a moment, she said, “How did it feel? Seeing it again.”

Andy hesitated. “Like getting hit with a memory stick,” he said. “But not all bad. I don’t… I don’t hate the kid in those pictures anymore.”

She nodded, understanding. “He grew up well. Even if it took a while.”

“Still working on it,” Andy said.

Arabella reached over and touched his arm, the gesture light, almost perfunctory. “You’re allowed to rest, you know. Just for tonight.”

He considered it. “You mean before the next round of disaster?”

She shook her head. “No more disasters tonight.” She caught his gaze, and for a second her eyes were wide and guileless, the usual Host mask stripped away. “You are doing well, Andy. Better than I expected, to be fully honest. You should be proud.”

He tried to think of something self-deprecating, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, he just nodded, the old, battered gratitude swelling up where it always did, behind the ribs.

Before he could respond, the double doors at the end of the hall swung open. There was a hush—a real one this time, the kind that rolls across a crowd in a slow, heavy tide.

Andy turned. Four people stood framed in the doorway: a tiny, perfect Host in an elegant blue dress; a man built like a refrigerator and dressed like a professor at a tech conference; a figure behind them, still in shadow; and a woman so stunning it took Andy a full second to register her as human.

The Host went first. She strode in with the brisk, self-contained grace of someone who expected to be obeyed, her blue dress swirling just below her knees, her hair braided and looped around her head in a crown. Her skin was pale as salt, her eyes like the ever-shifting hues of the ocean, and her smile was practiced to the point of weaponization.

Behind her, the man followed with a careful, measured gait, as if he’d calibrated every step in advance. He was even taller than Andy, at least seven feet tall, built like a linebacker. But somehow, either his clothes or his mannerisms gave Andy the impression of a linebacker trying to sneak into a library.

The woman at his side was the exact opposite. She moved like she was born for spectacle, her brunette hair falling in waves, her body dominated by absolutely massive breasts above an impossibly small waist, legs wrapped in a flowing skirt that made her look like she’d been painted into the world, not born to it. She had a beauty that was almost aggressive, the kind that dares you to look away and punishes you if you do.

Behind them, a gynoid with a matte surface, bright red hair, and wearing a black dress that seemed bolted into her frame walked unconcernedly, unbothered by the chaos.

Tracy, perched on the drinks table, clocked the man instantly. “Damn,” she whispered to Laura, “is he, like, the world’s biggest nerd or the world’s most muscular nerd?”

“Both,” Laura replied, her tone making it clear she was withholding judgement until more data was in. “And it takes a lot to be nerdier than Andy.”

Arabella’s whole posture changed the second she saw them. She straightened, smoothed her dress, and crossed the floor in three long strides. “Cassandra!” she called, her voice brighter than Andy had ever heard it.

The tiny Host beamed, then closed the gap in a few brisk paces. “Arabella,” she said, her tone a blend of affection and mischief. “Lovely as ever.”

They hugged. Not the polite air-kiss kind, but the real kind, arms tight around each other, heads pressed together. Andy felt the room relax, the tension draining away as the other guests realized this wasn’t an ambush or a challenge, but something else entirely.

When they broke, Arabella gestured to Andy. “Let me introduce—”

“No need,” Cassandra said with a bowing flourish, giving Andy a once-over that managed to be both appraising and approving. “I’m Cassandra. We’ve heard all about you. Mark here was eager—”

“You’re Andy Cooper,” the man interrupted her, eyes narrow and sharp behind wire-rim glasses. It wasn’t a question. “Cass insisted we come, not that we minded.”

He nodded. “And you’re…?”

“Mark Garret,” the man replied, extending a hand built for bench-pressing tree trunks. His grip was surprisingly measured, the squeeze more a check-in than a show of dominance. Then, in the blink of an eye, he was replaced by a woman not even five feet tall, with long black hair, sparkling green eyes behind rimmed glasses, and wearing a black strapless dress barely containing her breasts. “Or Mary, while like this.” Andy had a moment of near-vertigo as he adjusted to the sudden change in height of the person in front of him. Mary was more than two feet shorter than Mark. And apparently, Mark’s ability to transform affected his clothes, too. Convenient. “This is ASTRID,” Mary continued, pointing to the gynoid, “and this is Ellen. Ellen Thompson.”

The gynoid stared at Andy without speaking, completely expressionless. Uneasily, Andy wondered whether he was looking at a real gynoid, or someone who had suffered an elimination. He eagerly turned away from his examination to greet Ellen.

The brunette woman, for her part, hovered a step behind. She looked like she could shatter glass with a glare, but her eyes flicked from Andy to Arabella and back, calculating the social landscape like a chessboard. For a heartbeat, Andy thought she was going to offer her hand as well, but instead she gave a single, perfectly-pitched nod. Her lips curved in a smile that flickered between invitation and defense.

“Welcome,” Andy said, and meant it, though he still wasn’t sure if this was a delegation of peace or a surprise inspection. “Arabella didn’t mention we’d have you dropping in.”

Cassandra, the petite Host, laughed. Her voice was pure mischief. “Oh, Andy. We can’t resist a good party. And Arabella’s taste is impeccable.” She let her gaze land on the spread of food, the chaos of the dance floor, and then—just for a moment—on the harem, as if she were evaluating inventory. Not in a mean way, but the way a gardener might survey an unruly, thriving greenhouse.

Mary’s eyes hadn’t left Andy. There was a question there, unspoken and slightly raw. Andy recognized the look: the silent checklist of another person who’d spent too many nights on the edge, wondering if anyone else was building their airplane as it nosedived off a cliff. They didn’t need to talk about it. The air between them said enough.

“Hope we’re not intruding,” Mary said, voice a hair too neutral. “Our Host said it was a standing invitation.”

Arabella answered before Andy could. “You’re very welcome here,” she said. She glanced at Cassandra, and the two exchanged a look that was almost shy—like two best friends crashing a sleepover and pretending not to miss each other. “Tonight is for celebration. No games, no scoring.”

Ellen’s shoulders eased, and she let her guard drop enough to take in the room: the banners, the balloons, the swirl of dancers, the laughter from every direction. “This is…” She seemed about to finish the sentence with something dry, but instead just took a breath, and let her eyes soften. “It’s really nice. Thank you.”

Andy gestured toward the buffet, careful not to crowd them. “You’re among friends,” he said, then added, “Or at least fellow kidnapped players.”

Mary smirked, the tightness in her jaw slackening. “Suppose we are,” he said.

Cassandra, meanwhile, had already started orbiting Arabella, the two Hosts exchanging updates in a flurry of sotto-voce asides. Andy caught snippets—“…did you hear about the Dungeon?” “…honestly, Azure’s a disaster, but the ratings…” “…I’ll send you the documentation later”—but most of it was pure code, the kind that only Hosts could parse. At the edge of the dance floor, the harem watched with undisguised fascination.

Chloe approached Ellen with a plate of cookies. “First time in another set?” she asked, as if it was a perfectly normal question to ask a woman who looked like a cross between a lingerie model and a high priestess.

Ellen accepted the plate, her posture relaxing. “Movie sets? No. Harem Hotel sets? First time I leave ours, yes,” she said, and the dry humor Andy heard in her voice was instantly familiar. “Is everyone here always this…”

Chloe beamed. “Mostly. Sometimes we have **** mysteries, but the rest is cake and cookies and…” She gestured to the writhing, half-naked chaos on the dance floor. “You get used to it.”

“Sure,” Ellen said, looking over the crowd. “I bet.”

Andy caught the exchange out of the corner of his eye and felt a flicker of relief. The tension had been thick as syrup for a minute there, but the room was already absorbing the newcomers, folding them in with the same easy hunger it had shown every other lost soul who’d washed up on the island.

Arabella and Cassandra, meanwhile, had moved to the far side of the room, deep in conversation. Andy caught Arabella’s eye for a moment; she flashed him a brief, private smile, then turned back to Cassandra. Whatever they were talking about, it was important, but not urgent. The room was safe, for now.

He turned back to Mary, who’d drifted closer. “How’s your season?” Andy asked. “You look… mostly intact.”

Mary genuinely smiled. “Really good, to be honest. A few hiccups, especially with my newest contestant, but I would say it’s going great.” She raised her left hand, showing off a wedding band. “In fact, just got married, sort of, it’s in the future but time travel shenanigans.”

“Congratulations,” Andy replied, honestly relieved. “Glad to hear the season is going great. I’ve heard too many seasons going the other way,” he added, glancing at Harper and Caleb.

“Yeah…” Mary glanced towards the two of them, “sort of weird meeting people you thought were works of fiction. I recognize quite a few faces here, even though I never met them, like Laura, Tracy and Candy over there, or Harper and her wives over there,” she sounded slightly embarrassed, “or Caleb, Lily and Stella.” She paused. “So, heard you have **** elims, got a plan for the last one yet?”

Andy blinked for a moment, then shrugged. “Maybe. There’s always the possibility the girls get their three Achievements in time. Norah did.” But his tone was a little too casual.

“Have you considered asking her to take a dive? Or sharing all the achievement names with your girls.”

Andy shrugged sheepishly. “I should get around to that, but… I hope it won’t be necessary to do either. After all, the Audience did speak, in a way. I’m just not sure they realized it.”

Mary nodded, clearly unsure. “Well, good luck. I'm glad I don't have to deal with **** elims. I've heard of and seen alternate mes that have that and... well those seasons aren't particularly pretty.”

Andy nodded. “I’m sure. I’ve seen some nasty eliminations, myself. I’m not going to let any of my girls go down that path if I can help it.”

“Yeah, I made the same promise. No matter how I feel about any of them, I won't let them get eliminated if I can do something about it. A little concerned about my newest addition self-destructing, though. I got twelve like you, sort of… one of mine has alts of herself, that will eventually be part of my harem. Either way I expect quite a few more.”

Andy winced at the mention of a self-destructing new addition. “I had one of those in the last round. Self-destructing, I mean. She was ready to go down in flames. And if she could have taken me with her, she would have. I had to put my foot down and have a conversation with her, and I had to dredge up memories I hadn't allowed myself to fully relive in years, so I could show her what she was really doing. Worked out—she's not self-destructing anymore, at least.” He sighed, glancing to Riley, who was busy arguing with Norah and the imp-like Stella by the drinks table, “Depends on the day.”

Mary snorted in amusement, “I hear that." Mary raised her glass to Andy. “To barely keeping it together.”

Andy grinned and clinked her glass with his own. “To hoping one day we won’t have to put out new fires every time we turn around.” He sipped his drink. “Want to see my fairer side, by the way? I suppose it’s only right.”

"Sure. Fair warning, though, my host has a habit of not putting limits on how my TFs affect women, so don't blame me if you suddenly think I'm the sexiest thing after your change, or my smell makes you horny.”

Andy shrugged. “Arabella mentioned suppressing bothersome transformations for the evening. I assume yours would qualify. Only one way to find out, though.” And almost instantly, he was replaced by Andi, long brown hair flowing loosely on her button-down shirt, clothes still fitting even though slightly oversized. She was shorter, now, but only by four or five inches, and still considerably taller than Mary. She sniffed the air. “Nope. You look adorable, but that’s pretty much it. Sorry.” She grinned.

“Good, because I have enough women coming after me. I don't need more. You look nice like this, too. You have anyone get you off like this yet?”

Andi shook her head. “Not yet, at least. To be honest, it feels perfectly fine to be a woman, but I still feel weird about sex as a woman, if it makes sense. Anyway, Sam and I have no interest in sleeping with each other, whether I have boobs or a dick. Liesa seems to prefer me as a guy. Riley… we’re not even going there in this conversation. And the others are into guys. So, I suppose it may be a while. Not sure who the last contestant will be, though, so that may change.”

“Fair, I would consider trying it yourself. It is far more intense. Maybe in front of a certain portrait.”

Again, Andi was caught aback for a moment. “You know about her? It sounds like Cassandra’s briefing was thorough. Among my women, only one knows for sure, and I think one or two suspect, or at least don’t know she can move and communicate, yet.”

Mary shrugged. “It's sort of like I got the cliff notes, of what the audience would see.”

“Got it.” Andi drank another sip from her glass. “Sounds like what Arabella gave us when we were answering fan mail, last time.”

“Speaking of that. Cass has included mail from my cast with my present, she said to open it after the party. Which is odd, since there is a letter from me in the pile, but I definitely haven't written it yet.”

“Ah,” Andy nodded, “Not that uncommon, actually. Harper had the same experience once or twice. It has to do with the relative time flows of our seasons, I understand.” She grinned. “I may already have responded, and I don’t know it yet.”

Mary grinned back. “Oh I apologize in advance for Cass's gift. She thinks she is funny. I do see the humor but... well... you might not find it as amusing. Ellen got you a real gift from the two of us. One I know you will appreciate.”

Andi smiled. “Thank you, I appreciate it. It wasn't needed, truly. To be honest, I was always curious to meet you, ever since Harper mentioned you and your season. And Arabella mentioned once that there are more hidden similarities between our seasons than just our gender-swapping shenanigans.”

“I believe that. Also, be careful about one of Harper's girls. I already threatened her myself, but it wouldn't surprise me if she might try and **** the issue, trying to make you female Andi permanently. As far as similarities... I guess, though, you actually know most of your contestants fairly well; most of mine were missed chances at happiness. Though I would say they are both fairly positive in nature. As for the gift, I actually wanted to give you something else, but was informed no dice. Also, gifts are a tradition. Though there is another gift I could give you, if you wanted. It would actually help me, too.” Mary said with a mischievous smile.

“Ah yes, I assume you’re referring to Glitterdust. She tried the same with me, and I informed Harper of it. She tried to smuggle a scroll with a spell that would either **** me to be a woman, or die. Fairly gnarly, to be honest. Arabella caught the scroll but left the note, so I’d be aware.” She paused. “Yeah, I don’t think Arabella meant in terms of where the harems came from. You’re right, I knew most of mine even before The HH. Well? Some, perhaps. Erin, Sam, maybe Liesa. Others were definitely missed connections. Claire, Emi, Chloe. And some I guess you could classify as ‘full what-ifs’, like Marissa or Dawn.” She looked at Mary curiously. “You know what? Hit me. I trust you.”

Mary extended her hand to grab Andi's as she bumped up Andi's bust size. Andy’s breasts swelled to I-cups, her clothes mercifully adjusting to accommodate her enhanced chest. She took a step forward, caught slightly off-balance, but recovered quickly, just in time to notice how Mary’s own breasts had grown obscenely, far more than Andi’s had. Her hips had also flared out substantially. “Wow,” Andi said, cupping her new breasts, “This is almost Erin-sized. How long does this last?”

“A full round. Not the end of the round but to the same day next round. Enjoy.”

Andi smirked. “Really trying to make your case about playing with myself as a girl, huh?”

“I had an orgasm as a woman within…” Mary considered for a moment. “Like 6 hours of being a woman. It was great. I will say I only recently actually got penetrated. I honestly worked that up more in my head than was warranted. It feels great if different. Then again, I don't know how your sex swap works. For me I very much am a woman like this.” Mary swapped back to Mark, “And a guy like this. Cassandra said that my TF didn't make me more comfortable with being a woman either. I have people I trust on my staff that confirmed that too. Plus you could always go back to being a guy too, if you don't like it.”

Andi switched back to Andy, following suit. “I should probably celebrate my birthday with the looks with which I was born. But thank you. My swap is what Arabella calls a Gift. I’m as comfortable being a woman as I am being a man, though personal preference is another thing. I assume at some point I will try full sex as a woman, but not yet. Glad to hear your experience, though. I was actually curious.” He hesitated. “I heard most of your girls bought a TF to make them bisexual. That’s not because of Mary, is it? It’s because of logistics?” He chuckled. “Also, is it bad that the Hotel has warped us to the point that we can talk about having sex as women and about the sexuality of our harems within fifteen minutes of first meeting each other?”

“Maybe? Who cares what's normal any more.” Mark shrugged. “As far as the bisexuality... Well, I actually think only three of twelve have gotten it. That being said, a good chunk of mine were already bisexual or pan. It wouldn't matter anyway since as I mentioned before Cassandra made all women attracted to Mary. Much to her chagrin. They got it instead to pursue intra-harem relationships. Currently only two of my contestants aren't dating another one, and one of them... well I expect her to eventually since she was made to fall in love with another contestant.”

“Ah. Entirely different dynamics with my harem. Sam and Liesa are dating, but that's pretty much it. Riley and I are... hell, I don't even know what we are. Not romantic, though, and I don't know that she wants anything more - she lost her husband six months ago. Myra... she's got bigger things to deal with than whether to pursue a romantic relationship with anyone. The others, though, don't seem to be interested in intra-harem relationships. Maybe that will change, maybe not. But several don't seem averse to sharing, which at least makes the logistics easier.”

“Yeah, that's the truth. I don't know how, I would end up dealing with scheduling otherwise. Not to mention the plethora of kids they want.” Mark gave Andy a smirk and nod at that.

Andy chuckled. “Thus far, only two of mine have mentioned kids. Chloe always wanted them, but she couldn't... well, not until she got here. Now she can, although I think she's still scared it's not real. And Claire has been probably calculating all permutations since she got her Feline Fertility TF.”

“Yeah, I'm trying with my wife... and will with one other contestant once she is ready. Honestly when the information that Cassandra gave me about the fertility increases being retroactive for you, well... I'll just say that sort of information isn't really mentioned by a host unless it is relevant. Just saying...”

Andy nodded. “Yeah. Arabella also neglected to tell the girls that any contraception they had was no longer with them. Statistics alone suggests at least one of them is pregnant right now, I know. I suppose I'll find out before long, anyway.”

“Don't even get me started on that. I nearly punched Cassandra when she told me she removed Allie's IUD only after we had had sex.”

“Yeah, the timing of those announcements wasn't particularly inspired for either of us, was it?” Andy glanced to the rest of the Hall. “There's going to be a lot of kids for both of us, isn't there. It's going to be an interesting life, after all this is over.”

Mark laughed. “Oh for sure, my current low end estimation is something like 50 kids, possibly more like 100. Not to mention that some of them are going to be dragons, and possibly even deities for me... I expect total anarchy to break out on my planet without the help of the wish at the end.” He hesitated. “Oh god... dragon babies... I'm going to need a separate building just to house them so they don't burn everything to the ground.”

Andy couldn't help but laugh at the image of flying newborns breathing fire left and right. “That makes me glad I don't have a dragon girl in my group, at least. Also, not sure the genetics work the same for us as they seem to do for you. Still, we'll find out soon enough, I suppose.”

“You don't have a dragon girl, yet... It wouldn't surprise me to find out a few particular audience members would love to see a few of your more spirited girls become a dragon lady. Also fully expect to have a litter of cat girls and maybe cat boys with Claire eventually.”

Andy was about to respond when Claire appeared at his elbow. She wasn’t so much there as she was simply inevitable, cat ears forward, tail lashing, her entire posture a living punctuation mark. She tugged his sleeve with a **** that left no room for negotiation, then steered him on a beeline for the foyer. Andy had enough experience with Claire to know this was the equivalent of an all-hands-on-deck alert. He glanced at Mark apologetically. "Sorry, duty calls. Go ahead, grab a drink and mingle, I'm sure we'll get to talk some more before you have to leave."

Mark, Cassandra, Ellen and ASTRID are from legolus's Missed Connections season. Check it out!