They call me MISTER…

She sees the puzzled look on my face. “You don’t know your own name?”

“It’s a little complicated. I find myself at a crossroads. I’m about to carve my name upon this world. I need to make sure it’s a name that will strike awe in the hearts of those who hear it. I can’t ever imagine anyone uttering the phrase: Run for your lives! It’s…… Bob!”

Selina bursts out laughing and I can’t help but chuckle. “See? Could you picture yourself cowering before The Dark Lord Barry?” Another wave of laughter comes over her.

“I see your point. So do you have an idea?”

I nod, “I think I’m going to have to take inspiration from my old life. Yes! This world will know me as Fenrix. You can call me Lord, Sir, Master or just Boss. How does that sound?”

She makes an overdramatized bow, “YES! Oh great master! I am but your humble servant.”

“Humble? Something tells me they couldn’t draw humility from you with a white hot poker. I leave how you address me up to you. But I must insist on proper etiquette when necessary. Think you can do that?”

Selina calms down, “Yeah, I an do that. You a count on me, Boss. We should get going. It’s about 2 miles to the road and a day and a half to the nearest town.”

“You look like you know this area, anything we can forage? I’m kinda hungry."

"I mean, sort of. I don't really know much about plants, but something tells me you could take down almost any monster that we come across."

"Wait," I stammer, "Monster? You all eat monsters here? Don't you have domesticated animals?"

She waves her fands around, "Hello? We're in the middle of a forest! The only cows we come across here will be standing upright and trying to kill and eat US! The only domesticated animals would be..... cow, pigs and chickens. Anything else would be considered wild game."

"Anything else? Like what?"

“Well,” she continues nonchalantly, “you have the standard wild game like boars, elk, deer, bears and if you don’t mind stringy and gamey, wolves. But there are also the monstrous creatures. Minotaurs, goblins and Urikan. Oh! Dragons are supposed to be real tasty, but not many people are willing to put their lives on the line for a bite of food.”

“Minotaurs, Dragons? ORCS?! This is making my head spin!”

“Not Orcs!” She sounds genuinely upset, “Urikan! Orcs are Demi-Human. Trying to eat them will get you killed.”

“Let me see if I get this straight, Urikan are pink skinned walking pig-monsters, Orcs are green skinned muscle machines?”

She nods, “Now you’re catching on. Minotaurs and Garan are monsters, Taureans and Lycans are Demi-Human. See, when the gods..”

“Whoa, whoa, hold on.” I interrupt, my stomach growling, “Theology AFTER lunch. Let’s see if I can do this.” I scan the forest, “Observe!”

Small pop-up screens appear on the trees and a few plants. Elm, Oak, a few Maple, some poisonous mushrooms, but something catches my eye. “Hey, what’s a Travelers Apple?”

She perks up, “Those are an apple with a unique quality in that a single apple can serve as a full meal and keep you satisfied. So if you’re going on a long journey, or, y’know, traveling, they make for great provisions. Did you find a tree?”

I point to the trees.

She is instantly on alert, drawing her bow. “Travelers Apple trees are usually guarded by..”

A rustling of the bushes interrupts her as a black boar the size of a horse charges us. She send the arrow flying into its side but that does little to slow it down. “SHIIIIITTT!!” She yelps as she scurries behind me.