Sexy Escape Room

Day 2

Takumi was awakened by the smell of a well-cooked meal right in front of him. For a moment, he thought that perhaps he was back home, and that his mother was making him breakfast downstairs, but then he remembered exactly where he was. Sitting up in his bed in surprise, he found a tray with a fresh omelet, orange juice, and a side of perfectly cooked sausage waiting for him over his lap.

“Good morning, sleepy head!” an unfamiliar voice shouted next to Takumi. “It’s a good thing you didn’t let this meal get any colder, or else I might have had to punish you for your laziness!”

Takumi turned and saw a very strange person standing before him. It sounded like a woman, but her clothing was so conservative that there weren’t any outward indications of that. She was wearing a thick black coat that covered most of her body with matching pants and undershirt, and black high-heeled boots. And on top of that was a perfectly white chef’s apron, spotless white gloves and a mask that looked like a giant green tomato that obscured her entire head.

“W-what the he- mmph!” Takumi was interrupted by a forkful of food being shoved into his mouth. “Mmmph… this is actually pretty good.”

“Of course it is,” Scarlett said as she walked into Takumi’s view. “This is Ketchup. She’s known in the Red Light District as ‘The Ultimate Chef.’”

“A title I have rightfully earned, though I easily could have bought it from the has-been who used to have it. I’m the real reason why everyone says ‘Ketchup makes everything taste better’!” Ketchup proclaimed. “I use only the best ingredients, many of which are hand grown in my own garden, and my recipes are all secrets passed down through my family for generations!”

“The… Ketchup family?” Takumi asked through another mouthful.

“Hmph! No, I’m afraid my actual name and lineage must remain secret,” the tomato woman replied. “But I can tell you that my true name belongs to the richest, most powerful, most brilliant and influential family in human history!”

“I see… and if that’s true, then why are you here in the Red Light District, making food for me?” asked Takumi. “And… what’s with the mask!?”

“Fool! Don’t you dare waste time trying to rationalize the decisions of your betters!” the chef answered.

“Well, I can answer at least one of those questions,” Scarlett interjected. “She’s here because I hired her to cook food for you during your stay at this hotel. This will not only provide the proper energy and nutrients to fully enjoy your stay, but the food is also laced with various performance-enhancing **** that will make three ejaculations in a single day seem celibate by the time your stay here is done.”

“I see… wait, you put what in my food?” Takumi blushed and tossed his covers to the side, revealing the rather large tent he suddenly had in his boxers.

“Oooh, I see it’s already off to a good start,” Scarlett said, adjusting her glasses as she stared intently at his groin. “It’s hard to tell through your clothes, but it seems to me that it’s added at least half an inch to your length.”

“Of course he did! Johns can always expect the best when they hire me!” Ketchup laughed proudly to herself. “I’ll be back tonight at 6 PM sharp with my famous home-made curry! Don’t be late!”

“Er, yes ma’am!” Takumi replied, bowing in reflex.

“Oh, don’t mind her. Unlike me, she’s mostly just talk,” Scarlett said once the chef left the room. “Feel free to enjoy your meal, but you need to be ready to go in less than an hour. I’ve got an appointment booked for your first activity, and we won’t want to be late.”

“Yeah, yeah, I understand.” Takumi sighed and began eating his breakfast as fast as he could. “So, what’s this first ‘activity’ going to be anyway?”

“A… sexy… escape room?” Takumi said, his mouth agape as he stood inside a small room in a strip mall adjacent to the main Red Light District. Around him were various decorations and set pieces that wouldn’t look out of place in a Fallout game, including fake bombs, rations, old-timey posters and soda machines, a jukebox, jumpsuits, and gas masks. The whole room was made to look like a concrete bunker as well, and the only source of light aside from the open door behind him was a small light bulb hanging in the center of the room.

“That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” Scarlett replied behind Takumi. “This place is run by a friend of mine, Elpis, and she’ll be the one guiding you through this excursion!”

“Thaaaaaat’s right!” a woman with long blue pigtails, a striped black and white sweater, a short black skirt, and makeup on her face that made it look like her teeth were exposed on one side while a cute little heart sat beneath her eye on the other. “Don’t worry, I know it’s a little ‘out there’, but trust me, you’re gonna have a blast!”

“If you say so,” Takumi said skeptically. “But if you don’t mind me asking, what exactly inspired you to create this place?”

“Well, my original idea was to make a sexy version of the killing game from Danganronpa, but that proved too hard to do logistically, and everyone kept complaining about the fake blood getting on their clothes, so I swapped to this as the next best thing!” Elpis explained.

“Ah, I see… that makes perfect sense,” Takumi lied.

“Alright, I’ll be back to take you to your next stop when your timer runs out in about an hour,” Scarlett said as she left. “Have fun, you two.”

The door shut behind her, and that left Takumi alone with Elpis in the dim light of the play bunker.

“Alright, so here is the scenario that I have for this month’s escape challenge!” Elpis began excitedly. “The world outside has been ravaged by the horrors of nuclear war, caused by tech overlords from the future sending bombs back in time to kill rebels before they were born. You managed to escape the blast, but the fallout from the bombs mutated the common cold to kill 100% of all males on earth except for you! But unfortunately for you, the bunker that you’ve taken shelter in has been commandeered by a madwoman, played in this drama by myself, who has separated you from the other survivors and is forcing you to solve puzzles for her amusement! Can you solve them all in time and escape before the nuke in this room goes off so you can enjoy repopulating the earth, or will you go the way of the dodo and disappear?”

“Did that backstory seriously need to be that complicated?” asked Takumi.

“Yes, it did,” said Elpis. “Any other questions before we get started?”

“Yeah. That’s just a prop knife you’re holding, right?” Takumi pointed to the shining blade Elpis had been holding this whole time.

“Er, right, totally! Just a prop!” Elpis hastily hid her knife behind her back. “Now, for the first puzzle! I hope you like sliding tiles~”

Approximately 45 minutes later, Takumi was turning the key in the final lock in the room, unlocking the door to the next area and letting natural sunlight flow into the bunker once more.

“Wow - you actually did it! And with 15 minutes to spare!” Elpis said, clapping her hands. “I must admit, I’m quite impressed. No one has been able to solve my puzzles this quickly on their first try before - they either fumble until the last five minutes, or they have to try again the next day.”

“Well, it wasn’t too hard to figure everything out once I understood what the theme was,” Takumi replied with a shrug. “I didn’t even have to finish that one puzzle with the periodic table to know the answer was going to be ‘Uranium’, for instance.”

“Ah, I see; very clever,” Elpis said with a proud nod. “If we ever get locked in a scenario like this in real life, I’m definitely handcuffing myself to you so you can try to protect me.”

“Er, thanks, I guess…” Takumi replied, feeling a surprisingly genuine sense of flattery. “I gotta say, though, I don’t really see what made this a ‘sexy’ escape room. Sure, the premise is slightly risque, but otherwise, it seems pretty tame.”

“Oh, that’s because of your prize,” Elpis replied. “Remember when I said you were separated from the other survivors? Well, those survivors are a group of five ripe and fertile women of breeding age, being played by five of my friends in the next room. And since you won the game, you get to do whatever you want with them!”

“Wait, seriously?” Takumi gasped. “Wow, that’s quite the prize!”

“Yeah, it would be, buuuuut you might have noticed that the timer on the nuke in the room is still counting down,” Elpis pointed out. “Well, the plot twist of this month’s room is that my character was lying about being able to disarm the countdown. The bomb is still going to go off, so you’ve only got until time runs out to enjoy your winnings.”

“Wait, what? I only have 15 minutes?” asked Takumi.

“Actually, it’s closer to 10 minutes at this point,” said Elpis. “So if you want to bust a nut, you better get going!”

Not wanting to miss out, he dashed into the room and began hastily removing his clothes as he went.

“Boy, that sure was fun,” Elpis said to herself as she took a lollipop out from her pocket and began idly sucking on it. “He said he’ll be here for 98 more days, right? I wonder if he’ll be back next month? Heh, if he is I better make the puzzles extra challenging~”