Someone from Heaven decides to interrupt

Eric was about halfway to his next class when he sensed a presence and froze time.

"Hi, Amia," he said, not needing to turn around to know that his chief archangel had heard him and was walking beside him.

"My Lord," she said.

"So what brings you here?"

"Is it not proper for God's chief archangel to meet him at the earliest reasonable opportunity?" she asked. "As requested by the previous God, I did give you a little time to get accustomed to your new authority, and now I am here to ask that you take up the responsibilities of your role as well."

Eric nodded. "If you're going to be down here, I'm not going to let you look like a dowdy middle-aged woman." A very attractive middle-aged woman, definitely MILF material, but not the sort of body he wanted to fuck.

Amia looked down at her altered form; he knew her senses allowed her to see herself from all angles. "I'm an archangel, My Lord, not a university student." She cupped the new rack she was sporting, larger than most on campus, though not as large as Christine's.

"You're whatever I say you are," Eric pointed out.

"My Lord, there are other--"

"If I wanted you to be a street-corner whore giving blowjobs for a dollar, you'd be a street-corner whore giving blowjobs for a dollar," Eric interrupted her firmly. "Your title might be that of archangel but compared to me you are no more important or powerful than any other being under my dominion."

"My Lord, please give a lit--"

"Have I made myself clear, Amia?"

"My Lord--"

Eric took away Amia's ability to speak. "It seems I have not. I am God. You are not. As far as I am concerned, you are every bit as much mine to do with as I please as anyone or anything else is. Your role is whatever I say it will be. Your powers are whatever I let you have. Your responsibilities are whatever I tell you to do. You have no right to question me or lecture me; you have only the privilege of taking orders from me. Am I clear?"

Amia's mouth moved for a time, but since Eric knew her words would still be not entirely obedient, he did not allow her to vocalise them.

Finally the archangel realised the futility of her situation. Eric could tell she had hoped things would be different with a new God. "Yes, My Lord," she said.

"Good. Now that we've got that clear, what did you want to advise me of?"

"Well, My Lord, it would be most helpful if you were to attend to your responsibilities in Heaven and in the rest of the universe. Your predecessor preferred to spend his time getting his dick wet rather than actually ruling the universe, and many suffered for it."

Eric nodded. "Give me an example." In truth, he could sense the prayers flowing to him; he was simply ignoring them.

"Right now," Amia said, "about ten billion light-years from here, there is an immensely destructive war going on between two galactic civilisations. Entire planets are being bombarded into uninhabitability every day, populations completely wiped out. Fleets are destroyed in incessant battles, and everyone suffers. The prayers have been reaching us for decades now, but neither your predecessor nor his was interested in doing anything about it. It's clear that nothing short of divine intervention will bring it to a halt short of total annihilation on both sides."

"And what would resolving it entail from me?"

"An enforced end to hostilities by divine fiat, for one," Amia said. "An equitable peace that only you can determine thanks to your perfect omniscience. Damnation of the leaders of the hostilities to Hell, and, as necessary, restoration of the destroyed planets and resurrection of the innocent dead."

"And this would take me away from Earth for a little while?"

"A few minutes at most, My Lord, maybe only a few seconds. Your total omnipotence would easily resolve this conflict. You could have done it now while we talked, if you wished."

"But it would distract me from making everyone here sexier and getting my dick wet. Plus it would set a precedent that I am willing to intervene in such conflicts, leading to more demands on my attention, would it not?"

"Well, yes, My Lord, but that is something that is ordinarily expected of God."

"That I would value the lives of... how many sapients, Amia?"

"Prior to the war, there were forty-three quadrillion sapients living in the galaxies in question."

"The lives of forty-three quadrillion sapients over my own sexual pleasure, that is what is expected of me?"

"That is what those who pray to you hope you will decide, My Lord."

Eric nodded. "Well, see, I am infinite. They are not. Is that not so, Amia?"

"That... is true, My Lord," the angel admitted reluctantly.

"So therefore I am infinitely more important than any of them, even collectively."

"Yes, My Lord."

"And so anything that increases my happiness is therefore far more valuable than anything that might increase theirs, and anything that detracts from my happiness cannot possibly be made up for by any transitory gain on their part."

"I... cannot argue against that, My Lord."

"Of course you can't. And, further, since I am the font of all morality, I am declaring it Good for me to do whatever most increases my own pleasure. And since getting my dick wet makes me happier than stopping a war, that means I'm going to be getting my dick wet and the war can just go on as it has been. Am I clear, Amia?"

"Yes, My Lord. As your chief archangel, I am of course obligated to support you in whatever you decide."

"You are still uneasy about it, though."

"If nothing else, My Lord, since you declared your new morality, you have not gotten your dick wet, but I can still sense all the people in the instant of their death at this moment."

"I'll fuck someone soon enough, Amia, don't worry. And then everything will be better, won't it."

"Yes, My Lord."

Eric nodded again, stopping outside the building with his next class, not wanting to bother pushing past all the frozen bodies at the door. "What else is there you might want me to do?" he asked.

"Well, there is the matter of judging who will enjoy Heaven and who will be damned to Hell," Amia said.

"Can I not leave that to the angels?" Eric pointed out.

"You can, but... we are fallible. You are not. We will make the occasional mistake, and past Gods have had to correct it afterward."

Eric considered that. "Then I will give you a very simple criterion. Heaven is for anyone willing to be my fuck toy. Hell is for anyone who isn't. Judge everyone again on that basis."

"Everyone? My Lord, there are beings in Hell who massacred quintillions but would accede to your demand, there are beings in Heaven who brought lasting peace to galactic clusters but would never allow you to do that!"

"It is Good to want to be my sex toy, and it is Evil not to," Eric commanded. "This is my prime moral commandment above all others." He knew he was thinking with his cock, but he also didn't care.

"My Lord, on your world, is there not a saying that 'with great power comes great responsibility'?"

"With sufficient power there is nobody who can meaningfully hold you to account for how you use it," Eric retorted. "With great power, Amia, comes no responsibility."

The angel could only nod again. "It is as you say, My Lord."

"Good. Now, as for the angelic host, since all of you will be in Heaven from time to time, that means that all of you must be willing to be my sex toys." Eric rewrote the minds of every angel accordingly. "And since I'm entirely straight, that also means that all of you have to be female."

"My Lord, my husband, others, they won't like it."

"Your wife, you mean," Eric reminded her, his changes already having taken effect, every angel now appearing to be a busty human woman in her early or mid-twenties.

"I... no angel is exclusively straight or gay, you understand, but I at least vastly prefer men."

Eric shrugged. "Get used to eating pussy, then. Or wait for me to show up and fuck you and Ashley silly."

Amia sighed. Eric could tell that she had hoped his predecessor would pick someone more responsible, but he also didn't care.

He scanned his mind across the Heavenly host. "Tell me, why is the angel in charge of the Department of Heavenly Rewards not an archangel? It seems to me to be a very important position."

"Luna is very new to the role," Amia said. "The previous God promoted her after a trillion years of service for 'being the best cocksucking slut in Heaven' but while he stripped the angel she replaced of archangel status, he didn't promote her. She would have certain difficulties."

"Explain it to me," Eric ordered, feeling too lazy to check for himself.

"Archangels, unlike ordinary angels, can exist outside of the Heavenly realms indefinitely," Amia said. "Consequently, we need to be able to control our powers when not in Heaven or Hell. Ordinary angels don't undergo the necessary training until they become archangel candidates. Luna is one, but she is... struggling. Her time in Heavenly Rewards did not lend itself to any need to control how her powers manifested."

"If I kept her under my aegis, though, then my powers would override her own, and her lack of control wouldn't matter, correct?"

"That... is true, My Lord," Amia said. Eric could tell that she wasn't saying that he could just alter Luna to give her the necessary control.

"Then go back to Heaven and get to work rearranging the deceased as per my directive. Luna is hereby immediately promoted to full archangel and will be joining me here," he decided. "Heavenly Rewards is closed; the only reward anyone in Heaven will need is the reward of being my fucktoy."

"Your will be done in all things, My Lord," Amia said. Then she vanished and another archangel, who despite her eons of experience looked very innocent, fresh-faced and eager, took her place.