Pirate punishment

“That was far too easy,” grumbled Lady Evelyn, now hanging in a cage, suspended from the ceiling of the Long Bar at the Raffles Hotel. The word PIRATE was written on the sign nailed to the bars above her head. “I don’t know how you did it.”

“All I did was climb a hill and signal the Royal Navy with a flash of light from a polished bit of mirror,” said Fiona, shrugging. She was now comfortably dressed in another modest Victorian travelling gown, and in no way conspicuous among the crowds gathered in the bar - except, of course, by reason of her **** beauty. “They showed up and arrested all the pirates. Easy.”

“They arrested all the passengers as well.”

“It’s hard to prove who is and isn’t a pirate.” Singapore was currently festooned with cages, dangling from poles at every well-trafficked street corner, each one containing a captured and very annoyed lady pirate. With no clothes on. This was, of course, the traditional punishment for captured lady pirates in the East Indies. Of course, some of the caged naked lady pirates were actually things like a maharani or a missionary, but the courts would sort it all out in the fullness of time. “Evelyn, dear, may I ask you a question?”

“Anything,” growled Evelyn, as rubber planters and tiger hunters in pith helmets sipped Singapore Slings and giggled at her, sometimes even going so far as to pelt her with peanut shells.

“Did you know you’ve got no clothes on?”

Evelyn took a very deep breath and exhaled as slowly as she could, trying to control herself. “Yes,” she said, evenly. “I did know that I’ve got no clothes on.”

“Only it seems to me,” said Fiona, innocently, as a peanut shell bounced off Evelyn’s voluptuous pale hips, “that if I was dangling in a cage in the Long Bar at the Raffles Hotel, with no clothes on, under a sign saying PIRATE, I might be a little embarrassed. Are you embarrassed, Evelyn?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“The governor was such a friendly fellow. I think he really likes me. Doesn’t he control your sentencing, or something?”

“Yes,” said Lady Evelyn. The cages were tall and narrow, so the confined pirates were obliged to stand facing the crowd, without room to cover themselves with their hands. The bars were widely spaced, obscuring only the minimum of Evelyn’s high aristocratic breasts, her alabaster skin and the silky-dark triangle between her luscious thighs. “I suppose I am a little embarrassed.”

“What with all these people seeing you naked, and so forth.”

“Yes. I’m embarrassed that all these people can see me naked.”

“Why, some of them are even laughing at you! That would make me very angry, if I was you, but I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.”

“It makes me incredibly angry,” said Lady Evelyn, sourly, as Fiona beamed. “Do you intend to sit there drinking cocktails with your new friends all night long?”

“Why would I go anywhere else? This is the best bar in town.”