Yes you do!

The question really gnawed at you, does he think differently then Abigail? Doesn’t it make him feel strange that these white people devote themselves to him just because of his skin color? It really makes you think and finally, you blurted it out.

“Jamal?”

“Yeah, bro?” he answered, his deep voice casual, his stride loose and confident as always.

You licked your lips, feeling stupid before the words even left your mouth. “That thing Abigail said to me. About… her being a snow bunny. What does it really mean? Is that, like… normal? It kind of feels pretty strange”

Jamal is surprised, but his grin spread wide, a flash of white teeth against his dark skin. He chuckled, shaking his head as if you were a kid asking about sex for the first time. “Man, Abigail really got in your head, huh?”

Your ears burned. “I just.... I don't know, she made it sound like it was the best thing in the world, but also…” You hesitated. “I don’t get why someone would call themselves something like that. It feels kind of derogatory, you know what I mean? Why brag about it?”

Jamal stopped walking for a moment, leaning his broad shoulder against the glass of a lid up storefront. His eyes burned into you, sharp and heavy. “That’s because you ain’t seen it from our side, Emile. You don’t know what it means to us brothers or to them for that matter.”

Justin shifted awkwardly beside you, his head down, like he already knew where this was going. It feels like hes in a way involved with that whole thing, but thats a conversation for another time.

Jamal’s smile grew darker, more knowing. “I'm sure Abigail told you that, snow bunny ain’t just a word. It’s a role. It’s what happens when a white boy, or a white girl, gets shown what it feels like to be with a black man and realizes there ain’t no going back from that. I’ve had more than a few, bro. The last years in college, back at the BSA or even a couple in high school.”

You blinked. “Wait, you mean… guys?”

“Hell yeah, I told you I wasn't straight,” Jamal said smoothly, no shame in his voice. “Those white boys, they thought they were straight, thought they were tough. Until I got in their heads. Showed ‘em how good it feels when a real man, a black man takes charge. Some folded slow, some fast. But they all folded eventually.”

He pushed off the glass, stepping closer, lowering his voice so only you and Justin could hear. “You know what it feels like, Emile? To take some little white boy who thinks he’s got it figured out, and show him what he really is? First time he bends? First time he lets go? First time he really gives up? That’s when you see it. That’s when you own him. That’s when he becomes your snow bunny.”

Your pulse thudded hard confusion, but for some reason a bit of excitement starts to build in you. “And… and they liked it?”

Jamal’s grin was sharp. “Liked it? They begged for more. Even when I moved on from them. These white boys couldn’t stop chasing it. Once they had me, no other man, no other woman, could do it for them. That’s the whole point. That’s why Abigail calls herself that with pride. ‘Cause she knows she’s at her best, her truest, when she’s owned by a black man who knows what to do with her. Same goes for the boys I had.”

Justin shuffled nervously, his ears red. Jamal didn’t miss it. He leaned down slightly, his breath warm near your ear. “And you wanna know something else, bro? You’ve got that potential. You might not realize it yet, but it's there...”

Your throat closed. “Wh-what do you mean?” you exclaim, why the hell would he insinuate that you want to be a snow bunny? Why would you want to be owned by another person and worship them just because of their skin color?

What hes saying seems extremely strange to you and is kind of overstepping boundarys if you think about it. If you weren't in such a strange situation you would express your discomfort... right?

This definitely is strange and wrong, you are sure of it. But why then, does the idea of being dominated like that make you feel kind of... electric inside?

This is something you really don't want to think about in this moment, you try to push the thoughts as far back into the depths of your brain as possible.

Jamal just chuckles as he sees your confusion and clapped your shoulder with a heavy hand. “Don’t worry about it now, Emile. You asked, I answered. And honestly bro, all of this is just my opinion, don't make too much out of it. Just think on it. Snow bunnies don’t choose to be snow bunnies. They just… become it. When the right black man shows up.”

He started walking again, leaving you standing there with your heart racing.

Jamal isn't sure if it was the best idea to reveal parts of his plan for you, but he couldn't not take this opportunity to teach you a lesson since you asked about it. He hopes that this way you get even more curious about the whole system. Maybe knowing all this makes you step further into the community and with that, right into his arms.

Justin gave you a tiny glance, nervous, almost guilty, before hurrying to catch up with Jamal.

You followed a moment later, still hearing Abigail’s girlish laugh in your head, still feeling Jamal’s heavy words pressing on your chest.

Snow bunny. Owned.

You didn’t understand why, but your stomach flipped every time you replayed the conversations in your mind.