Fan-Mail Replies, Part 3: The Lawyer

Harper

Harper wakes up at the bottom of the pool. A maelstrom of emotions still roil in her. Grief. Anger. Frustration. Shame. Sorrow. Pain. Possessiveness. An aching emptiness that feel like its boring her inside out. The sun shines through the waters of the Master Suite walls, its warm, happy rays oblivious to Harper’s mood. She drags herself out of the pool, dripping wet. Not bothering to dry off, she trudges to the kitchen. I should at least try to put some food in me.

“Um, excuse me?” a voice Harper doesn’t recognize pipes up. Harper ignores it. She grabs some cold brew and some eggs. The sea elf puts a pan on the stove to pre-heat. Mechanically downing the coffee, she cracks 4 eggs and starts to whip them with a fork. Should I try for the omelet, or just go straight for the scrambled? Shrugging, she adds a little butter to the pan for lubrication.

“Um, sorry, I’m looking for a Ms. O’Connor? I assume that’s you?” Harger continues to ignore it. She adds the eggs to the pan, letting them start to cook. Moment of truth soon. Do I try for the omelet or just give up?

The voice asserts itself, “Look, I’m a busy woman and have better things to do than watch a woman with leaking eyes cooking unfertilized chicken embryos. Will you talk to me now, Ms. O’Connor?” Harper tries for the omelete. Her flip splits. Growling, she turns the failed omelete into a pile of scrambled eggs. Pulling them off the flame when they are about 85% done, she lets the residual heat cook them the rest of the way.

A hand grabs her shoulder. Sword summoned in hand, she spins and thrusts to face the nuisance. The nuisance buzzes backwards? Not fast enough. Harper gets her free hand around the thing’s neck. She sticks the tip of her blade in the crook of where her collarbones would meet.

“You haven’t ran into one like me before, huh? You never attack a Nehtaliante head on, elf.”

Harper sees the stinger curving up towards her heart, just barely avoiding sticking into her skin. She growls at the stranger, “Who the FUCK are you?”

“Salutations, I am Honey, a junior associate of Cyrene & Hodges: Chanters at Law. I was hired to represent Ms. O’Connor for her future work on Harem Hotel. And I presume you are Ms. O’Connor, leaking eye woman?”

“I’m not in the mood to deal with bullshit right now.” Harper returns her blade to her inventory and heads back to plate her breakfast. Someone already done so, even getting Harper a refill on her coffee. Sighing, she carries her meal to the dining area and flops into a chair.

Honey sits across from her, quietly, patiently. Almost waiting to see if Harper will crack under the social pressure to say something first. The sea elf eats, mechanically, just trying to get enough fuel in for the moment. She takes a moment to examine this “Slayer of Spiders”. Her whole thing makes Harper think of tarantula hawks. Midnight blue chitinous plated skin, big black compound eyes, heavily segmented antenna sticking out of her forehead. She has a pretty face (especially those eyes) and no hair. Four rail thin arms, surprisingly big breasts covered up in a silk blouse. Two pairs of wings, the base of which are black that fades into a rusty colored brown. Two long rail thin legs, with a wasp-thin waist and a large abdomen underneath. The tip of said abdomen ends in an 18 inch long, curved stinger. Something primal growls within her. She wants something to fill the empty void inside of her and this Honey is certainly comely enough to fit the bill. Cat allergy transformation strikes again. No way I’d be so attracted to her without it. Get your shit together, Harper. You have 8 others downstairs. Stop being so fucking greedy.

Looks like Honey got tired of waiting as she moves over to sit beside Harper, tissue in hand. The wasp-girl daubs at her tears. “You’ve been leaking like this all morning. Is that a thing your species does? Your facial expression says you are in pain. Lawyer client privilege is a concept that I often operate under, Ms. O’Connor. I will keep your secrets. Tell me what happened?”

Finally giving herself permission, Harper starts to ugly cry into the waiting arms of this wasp-girl. In bits and spurts, she gets everything out. Four little arms give her little gentle strokes on her back. The sea elf doesn’t get any relief from her brokenness, but her tears slowly return to a trickle.

“Thank you for sharing. Sorry for being sent this morning. Sorry for not having time to watch your season before being sent. Emergency hire, if you need an excuse. You really should have a few weeks to recover. Do you want to sue?”

Harper growls out a single word, “NO.”

“Then how can I help? What can I do?”

Harper shrugs, lost at the idea of even needing a lawyer. Honey offers, “At the very least, I should document the extent of the damage Ms. E did to you. It will serve as leverage for negotiations. If you don’t mind?”

With a nod, the wasp-girl starts to chant in Elvish. Long minutes later, there is a glow in her eyes that highlights each individual little ommatidia. “You have an extremely intense amount of residual conjuration and abjuration magics within you, even above the much higher than average residual transmutation magic inside you. The later indicates that the show has changed you waaaaaaaaay more than even the upper end of what a contestant would experience for her time in the show. As a mistress, that is highly unusual. The former, given what you described, indicates you were the likely a target of a 10th level producer spell called Contract Transfer. It’s a spell used to transfer ownership of a contestant from one target to another. It does cause some amount of permanent damage to the severed target’s soul. The emotional instability you are currently experiencing will fade in time. But you will always feel like something is missing. You will likely need some long-term mental health support. Do you need a reference? We have relationships with...”

“Not necessary. One of mine is a trained psychologist of a sort. I have not had the greatest experience with second-hand shrinks.”

“Well, I won’t interfere in that, then. Your producer, who intensely activates my fight or flight responses, said something about you needing to do some letter response reactions? Would you care to do them now or wait until the set lockdown is over?”

“Wait, lockdown? Ms. E?”

Honey buzzes, “Please do not invoke the producer. It’s standard operating procedure to secure the Mistress and all contestants when one of them makes an unauthorized excursion to the Backstage until a complete audit of security protocols can be made. I had to cite lawyer client privilege to get on your set. It should be over relatively soon. Glad I am not having to deal with all of that. Someone’s getting thrown into the infinite pit of fire snakes for this. So, letters?”

Infinite pit of fire snakes? What?

Before Harper can ask, the first letter reading plays. Andrew opens her letter, surprised by the plushy and the book pouring out of the envelope. The letter was edited, her second attempt to help Katherine removed. Harper’s rage boils over, only for her lawyer to put a gentle hand on her shoulder. The sea elf somehow already knew the present was rejected when she talked to Andrew last night. More manipulation, Ms. E? Really?

The wasp-girl notes, “How very young of you, thinking you can solve every problem. A human like naivete.”

“I was human, before the show.”

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t know. Still, focus on the good you done for them. You made that eliminated contestant feel important.”

“I could’ve done more.”

“Surely by now you have at least one eliminated contestant. Where is she?”

Harper snaps her finger and summons her familiar. Pulling out some Rat Leavings, she offers some to Vix. The fox happily munches down as Harper strokes the soft fur. The lawyer offers, “Do you wish to examine the elimination yourself or just trust that I won’t lie to you?”

“Both.” Harper starts to ritually cast Detect Magic. Once the spell is up, it takes several minutes to sort through all of the magic nonsense and got to the core of Vix. The results are blinding. Harper yelps in pain.

“Stared too directly?” the wasp-girl asks, then continues, “Eliminations are another producer spell, each specially crafted, bespoke, unique. 10th level transmutation, with whatever other schools of magic needed to make the text of the transformation work. Reversal is beyond mortals. Producers could, with enough time and effort, but they typically won’t. Too much office politics for doing so.”

Vix, scared by Harper’s yelp, is shivering a little. “Sorry, Vix. It’ll be okay.” Harper scoops up the fox and gives her a hug. The fox, for her part, demands, “<More snacks!>”

“I’m spoiling you, but okay.” Harper handfeeds Vix, then continues. A few letters are attached. The first two, are, of course, from Arabella.

Harper,

Thank you for rewriting the letter for Andy and Katherine, and for revisiting the presents. Alas, the transformation you have provided will not work either, due to the nature of Katherine's transformation, which would prevent her from being targetable by such a spell. I also am not ready to give Andy transformations, so I will excise this gift from the letter, while maintaining the other two, which I believe the Contestants and Andy will find helpful. I will let them write back with their thanks, of course, though I would add mine as well. And while I have to excise the transformation, please accept that I understand and welcome the intention behind it. You have gone through much in your season and yet still find it within yourself to care about others. It is a commendable trait. Us early Hosts, we were not built with it, and therefore it never ceases to amaze me to see how strongly developed such a trait is in humans (or those who started out human, anyway).

I understand you may be judging my rules and my decision-making harshly. I would ask that you withhold judgment until my work is done. I am old, and the constraints of the show are quite literally written in my bones. What freedom younger Hosts may have – to be dark, to be light, to be sadistic or gentle – is something early Hosts such as myself never experienced. But within those constraints, I am trying to build something different. It will be messy. But it will be true, I hope.

For this reason among others, I encourage you to continue watching the show, if your Producer allows it. I understand that Katherine is among your favorites: while her transformation cannot be changed, I have high hopes at least that the rest of her life will be more pleasant than being **** to witness a litany of petty Masters. And yes, should you be wondering: the Master of her season was not an honorable man. In my long career, only a handful of times did Masters reject an eliminated contestant and left her on my island when they returned home. It is not just bad form, but a breach of the rules of my show. I believe I can say that inasmuch as such rules are part of me, so too is my ability to punish breaking them. I was made this way by my Producer, and I carry their stamp of approval in doing so. Katherine's erstwhile Master already regrets not caring for her, and will do so for a very long time. On this, you have my word.

Yours,

Arabella

Ms. O'Connor,

With time dilation effects kicking in, I am sure this letter will find you only a short while after you said goodbye to Dinah. I do not think she feels ready to write, nor – to be honest – do I know if she ever will. But I could tell that you cared about her, so I wished to send you my reassurances. Dinah is content. Perhaps not fully happy – admittedly, her inability to find pleasure except in certain circumstances does weigh on her from time to time. But such is the way with elimination transformations, and she did receive a kind one, overall. She finds pleasure in the work I have assigned her, however. And no, it is not sexual or erotic in any way. Suffice to say that Dinah can put to good use her medical knowledge and her empathy, she is not alone, and does not need to fear the shadows. I fully understand the trauma she went through. Here at The HH, I strive to make this a place of healing, in more ways than one; for Dinah, this peace and this work may be the difference between breaking and recovering. I will endeavor to keep you informed, from time to time, should you wish me to.

Your Producer is a formidable being, however new to the role. Your bond with her, above and beyond your Host, is commendable. Please let her know that I am grateful she was willing to accept the compromise we struck, rather than insisting on taking Dinah back, or consigning her to the Backstage.

I believe your words to Andy were helpful. I would have endeavored to give him a little push myself, but it meant more, coming from someone in his position in another season. From my perspective, the results of the first challenge have already been tallied and announced; if they haven't been shown in your reality, I recommend looking at them when you have a moment. And perhaps see how Andy took your advice when he provided his rankings.

Don't tell him, but I was rather proud.

Yours,

Arabella

Harper reads the letters carefully, trying her best to hold back the tsunami of feeling threatening to overwhelm her. Stroking Vix helps, actually. She looks down to the fox in her arms, noting, “Even if I could, I wouldn’t abandon you, Vix. I wish we could have worked things out. And I’m sorry.”

Turning to where she thinks the camera would be, she begins, voice wavering, “I apologize, but I’m not in my right mind right now, Arabella. And I think you know why. I’m still trying to process last night and I have no idea when I’ll be approximately back to normal. So, forgive any faux pas I utter.

“I hate that you are right. I really, truly do. Just checked on Vix myself, at the recommendation of my lawyer, and I see your point. What you do to us, all of us, is monstrous. I hope you can turn it to the good. You better not hurt them, Arabella. None of them. Forcing eliminations means you better have a light fucking touch with those exit transformations. You do what you did to Katherine to one of them? My next visit to your set will be less pleasant.”

“Um, Ms. O’Connor,” Honey interrupts, “I would recommend you walk some of that back. Threatening your future co-workers is both counter-productive for litigation purposes and not great for intranetwork relations. Not to mention that your producer would actually struggle to take down that particular Host if she has to avenge your ****.”

That earns the wasp-girl a **** glare. Harper continues, “As far as Katherine’s Ex-master is concerned, good. His failure, his responsibility. His burden to bear. Rejecting that was a grave sin.

You obviously haven’t met my Hosts. Not exactly the type to develop good rapport with. Especially the first. Ms. E is, weirdly enough, like the mom I never had. A prankster warrior of a mom, but a mom nonetheless. I’m not very happy with her right now, for obvious reasons, but I’ll forgive her soon enough.

Glad I could help Andrew. This game is hard on all of us. Again, **** eliminations are cruel. Again, reveling in cruelty is a sure way to piss me off.

Finally, the rational part of me understands that what you two did last night is for both Dinah’s and my goods. The irrational part of me, this pit of emptiness in my heart, is angry that you took that responsibility from me. I hate that you two are right. I really, truly do. Look after her, Arabella. You two stole that burden from me, so you better take care of her. Tell her that I’m sorry. Tell her that my heart will ache for her for the rest of my days. Maybe, one day, she’ll actually believe me. One can only hope.”

The third and final letter was from Andrew and Katherine.

Harper,

It's done. I turned the system to the good – at least for now. You may have seen the results already; you may not. But due to a 'glitch' (and I have reason to believe it was piloted, not random), I was able to see the final Audience rankings before submitting mine. Who knew that memorizing ASCII codes would be a vital skill to have? Either way, it made me think of an idea. If my rankings and the Audience's were to be averaged... well, what if I gave the girls the exact opposite ranking the Audience gave them? Claire was first in Audience ranking, so I'd put her last. Norah was last, and I'd put her first. Either way, math gave me a good chance of being right: all the girls would score exactly the same. And while I've known Arabella only for a week, I bet everything on believing not only that she had something to do with the glitch (at least, her odd technician, Herman, must have known), but even if she didn't, that she'd respect and perhaps even welcome the chance to avoid an elimination.

I was right, Harper. No one goes home, today. I still cannot believe it, but... no one goes home! They all stay! Yes, there is a price to be paid. While the winner would have received no transformation, since there is no winner, that one girl will get a transformation instead. But I know them. And I think all of them would be happy to get one transformation, if it means saving one of the others from elimination. They seem to think so, anyway. I wish you could have seen the joy when Arabella announced the results. And I think she was happy, too, not that a Host is allowed to show it openly, of course.

If it was a test, maybe I failed. Maybe I was tempted by power and fell for it. But I cannot believe that. Katherine, that woman who turned into a coffee table that you mentioned – what was her name? She should be remembered – those are eliminations that were nasty. I could not risk anything like that. I have to protect them all, you understand. I know you feel the same about yours.

It makes me wonder, though. Claire told me that these weekly eliminations are a new thing for this season of the show. Presumably, Arabella wrote the rules for the season. Yet, I cannot shake the feeling she was happy I found a way out. Is there a point, then, to these eliminations? Are they really there out of cruelty, malice, or ratings? Or are they meant to do something else? I suppose we'll see at the next challenge: I am sure a 'glitch' won't occur twice. I may not even be allowed to vote, next time. But I think... I'm trusting Arabella more and more, strange as it may seem. And having seen how she took responsibility for Dinah and offered to help her, not by forcing her in this harem but by giving her a reason to live and heal – whatever that reason may be – I am more inclined than before to do so. Only time will tell if I am making a mistake, I suppose. For now, I just want to be happy, and enjoy this time. Arabella gave permission to hold a party in the Suite with all the girls: that, too, makes me think she wanted this outcome. She made it difficult – if I had not noticed the ASCII codes quickly, or jotted them down, or if I hadn't noticed the one that meant 'Erin', one of the girls would be eliminated now. But she made it POSSIBLE. To save them all.

I know my job has just started. I know there will be other challenges, and I may not be able to stave off elimination forever. But I have one more week with all of them, to get to know them better, to continue building bridges, to see where this crazy show will take us. So, thank you for your advice. Even though Arabella blotted out the memories of last night temporarily, so I wouldn't be distracted, I think it stayed with me. It gave me the impetus I needed, perhaps.

I don't know where Dinah is, right now. Clearly, it means there are facilities on this Island none of us have seen. Secret ones, where Arabella does... whatever she needs Dinah for. But if I do find her, and speak with her, I'm sure you will watch it on your TV. Let me know if you want me to bring some words to her, in that case. I can't guarantee her response, but happy to help.

I hope you are recovering from the hurt, too. Arabella mentioned at the beginning of the show that the girls would be bound to me; I assume the same happened to yours, and I don't know what that bond means, exactly, if it has any effect on us, or on them. But I can imagine the pain if it is snapped. Even gently. I'm sorry for that pain, Harper. I know you did what you thought was right, and you tried to help her. Unfortunately, from what she told me, between what she went through and the whirlwind of changes you all received, she felt left behind, I think. And she turned that on you. I don't feel like judging you or her for this – it always takes two people to make or break a relationship. If you've seen Erin's memory cabana sessions, you know what I mean. But I hope Dinah realizes, over time, that you were trying to help. And I hope you feel better, I hope the pain recedes, at least a little bit, and I hope you can be happy for her, ultimately, even if it sucks for you.

I know I'm much newer at this thing than you are, and you have powers I don't think I ever will have. But if I can give you a piece of advice? Try to understand how much of the hurt is Harper hurting for having lost Dinah, and how much of it is the Mistress hurting because a Contestant walked out. Hold onto the pain from the former. It reminds you of how much you cared about Dinah. How much you loved her, in your way, even if towards the end you were no longer romantically attracted to her. That pain, that grief, is a measure of your love for her. But cherish the good things, not just the bad. Don't dwell on her elimination or losing her from the harem: dwell on whatever happy memories you have of her before then. And all that pain that comes from the Master hurting? Shove it away. You said it to me last night, and I will say it to you. Ours is a position we didn't earn. It is our role to use it to protect the women in the harem, to help them. Sometimes, I think, that means letting them go. Who knows, I may have to go through something similar, one day. I hope not, but I can't be sure.

Either way, I'm here if you need support. Write me, or pop in from a visit if Ms. E and Arabella agree. Marissa mentioned one of your girls, a 'Scarlet', might want to speak with her, and Emi mentioned another girl with an affinity for ropes who sent her a pretty medallion seemed nice? I don't think Arabella would object to visits, as long as they are sporadic. I don't know if Ms. E would. But either way, we're here for you and yours. I think I can speak on behalf of the others as well, here.

Good luck, Harper. You aren't alone, no matter how much it may feel like it at times. Don't hesitate to reach out when you need it. I owe you one.

Oh, I almost forgot. Katherine thanks you for your efforts to help her. She appreciates the thought, and asks me to convey that while at times it can be frustrating for her, to know things she cannot share due to her limitations, she's glad I spend time with her and I understand her well enough to converse with her. She appreciates that you, too, see her as a person and not as art decor. I fear that's what most of the past Masters saw her as, when she was in the Suite after her exit. I'm trying to change that. Arabella gave me permission to take her with me, when the season is over. She'll have a home. And I will protect her as fiercely as I protect the other women. You have my word on this.

I'm the last person to talk about healing the wounds of the heart after losing someone important. But I hope your heart heals better than mine.

Your friends,

Andy & Katherine

The pain, the emptiness recedes slightly reading all of that. Slightly. It takes a few moments for Harper to collect her thoughts.

“First things first: scratch that Lawful Neutral vibes comment. Designing a rules system with the express purpose of having it broken? Chaotic Good to the core, that Arabella is. She’s just a much better actress than I thought. Makes sense in a way, given how old she claims to be. Someone with that much experience hosting is bound to have perfected the craft. Given my experience with my Hosts, I am wary of any of them, but I am slowly coming around to thinking Arabella is one of the (very few) good ones. Still irritated at her, and will be for a while.

Congratulations on saving them all. Way to beat the system. I’m happy for you. Or as close to happy as I can feel at the moment. I’ll address that when I get to that part of your letter. Post challenge party? Found those do help. Just maybe avoid letting Arabella gamify it? That can backfire. As far as feeling like you failed because you exerted power to save them goes, don’t. I wrote a response letter to another Master on another season (a Congressman Turner) about some things that I could speak to. In it, I told him ‘magic magnifies the heart.’ Power itself is valueless. How it is wielded determines it’s good or evil. Using an exploit to save people, good. Using the same exploit to intentionally screw one of them, evil.

Her name is Jenny. If you can stomach it, you can watch the whole thing yourself, I assume. We have a streaming service here (Harem Hotel Hereafter) and, I assume, you have some sort of access to other seasons. Might be that, might be a collection of tapes somewhere. The relevant scenes are in Compilation 15 (Binky’s Faves) of the ‘Harem Hotel: Best Eliminations’ series or you could find the season she was a part of. I won’t be watching it again. I have someone already eliminated in my arms right now. I don’t need that reminder of what my failure might mean anymore.

Honestly, the rules system for every season is a least a little different. Variety to pull audiences in with new takes on the game. Eliminations have different purposes too. I wonder how many are intentionally set up? Some, like poor John Booker, get eliminated to serve as an object lesson to the others: shape up or this will be your fate. Some, like Holly Anderson, get eliminated to honestly incorporate them into the harem better, weirdly enough. That season also had **** eliminations at the beginning. Vix here, I was told to view her elimination as divine justice. I mean, she did try to kill me.”

The fox in Harper’s lap growls. Harper gives her pets and another Rat Leaving and she calms back down.

“We’ll circle back to Dinah. I’m still processing what happened last night. If I understood my lawyer here, which feels weird to say, they severed the connection between Dinah and my soul. Some damage was done to me that will never truly heal. I will always feel like a part of me is missing, because it is. The hurt I’m feeling will fade away, maybe faster than it should, to be honest. I have a responsibility to my others and I can’t have them punished for my fuck up (excuse the language). You mentioned Scarlet a little later in your letter. She has this transformation to prescribe sex acts to cure mental health issues. I’m going to need it. In fact, Ms. E all but ordered me to submit myself to it. I’ll try to preserve the pain I feel of losing Dinah the person as best as I can though; I’ll let that heal naturally. I hate to say that the natural pain is more disappointment of rejection and what might have been than of love unrequited. There were a few good moments to hold onto. Who knew that madly falling in love with a bunch of different people simultaneously in the span of a couple of weeks was an impossible task?

I’ll keep in touch when I can, but our game is ramping towards the climax now. The whirlwind of crazy dates is to continue until the end; my last real one involved fighting a fire giant inside a fucking volcano. I’m probably already supposed to be on my date with Skye right now. I married her like a couple of days ago and it still surprises me to think about. The engagement scar still itches a bit when I roll my left shoulder back (don’t ask). I’m not sure if I’ll be in a good place to make a visit personally while my game is still afoot, physically or mentally, but, if you need me, I can try. I’m sure that Ms. E would not mind my companions (assuming they are not on a date with me) making a trip, provided they can behave themselves. I’ll probably have to bar Glitterdust from going, at the very least. That pet dragon of mine will certainly want to cause some trouble that you are simply not prepared for. I mentioned Tina with my gift to Sam, right? She’s a stage magician by trade (now souped up with real magic) and can actually earn BP by performing on other seasons if you need an idea for a date. For some odd reason, it seemed like you did most of the date planning work for your Week 1.

As far as Katherine goes, good. You better keep your word there. I vastly underestimated the herculean task of fixing her twice. To be somewhat fair, for my diagnostic spells to work properly, I need to be near the magic I want to figure out. My apologies for my arrogance in the matter.

For Dinah, if you see her again, please tell her I am sorry. Please tell her that there is a hole in my soul left by her. I hope that one day, she’ll forgive me.”