Madison, of course.

"Why is she acting drunk?" Regina demanded.

"Oh, I'm not drunk," Madison giggled. "I'm dreaming!"

Ross quickly explained the effects of the script Mrs. Hill had given him, emphasizing the fact that nothing she experienced while modified would be real to her.

"Now what did you do to her?" Ross asked. "Did you tell her to act like a frat guy or a bitch or something?"

"Hey!" Madison protested feebly. "Don't call me a bitch, you big bitch."

"Of course not," Regina scoffed. "Look, the whole thing was her idea. She made a big deal about how she was a golem and I could do anything I wanted to her. She kept insisting that I fuck with her."

"Is that true?" Ross asked Madison, knowing she lacked the wherewithal to lie.

"Fuck yeah!" she said eagerly. "She was all hung up about it until we finally got started. Now I'm a cool badass bitch dreaming about my two best friends."

"I never told you to be a bitch," Regina said. "It was mostly small stuff. We experimented at first, stuff like making her speak French or forget what cats are."

"What the fuck's a cat?" Madison interrupted.

"See? Then Madison had the idea to make her like video games. I've been trying to get her to game with me forever and she's had no interest."

"If I knew how fuckin' good I am I woulda started a lot sooner," Madison said thickly. "Or maybe Gina just suuuuuucks..."

"So what's with the personality changes?" Ross asked.

"Well, once we were playing, I started making little edits on the fly. She started off just hiding in the corner so I upped her aggression. She started getting bored so I made her really competitive and a little more energetic."

Madison smiled and nodded as her best friend continued to list the ways in which she had been altered to be closer to what Regina wanted in a friend.

"...and I made her completely obedient to me, of course, and told her not to worry or think about anything outside of this room."

"Ok," Ross said. "Anything else?"

Regina shrugged. "I lost track of all the tiny little rules and changes I set up. You saw how earlier she socked me in the tit and I told her not to do that again? We've been doing that all afternoon. Every time she pisses me off or does something I don't like, I just make a little tweak."

"Got me just the way she likes me," Madison said in a sing-song voice. "Hey Gina, wanna play some more? I'll bet you can fuckin' destroy me now that I'm dreamy."

"In a second, Madison," Ross said. "Please just be quiet while Regina and I talk."

"You're not the fuckin' boss of me!" she said. Regina repeated the command and she nodded and made a "zipped-lips" gesture, allowing Ross to continue.

"Now, Regina, first things first - we're gonna undo all your changes to Madison and rebind her to me."

"What?" Ross was surprised at how angry Regina became. "So you get to fuck around her to make a perfect sex toy but I don't get to tweak her a little to make a gaming buddy? How is that fair?"

"I didn't fuck around with her!" Ross said, realizing how false that sounded even as the words left his lips. "I mean, sure, I changed a few things, but I didn't just rewrite her whole personality."

"That's beside the point," Regina said. "Have you considered asking Madison how she feels about it? Madison, you can talk again. Tell me how you feel about the changes Ross made to you."

"Ross didn't even make most of 'em," Madison said with a giggle. "He's too stupid. I did it for him, and I fuckin' love all of 'em."

"What about the changes Regina made?" Ross demanded.

"I like these too!" Madison said brightly. "I get to be mean and say stuff like 'dick-for-brains'. I'm so much harsher and judgier now, too! I've never tried being a bitch before."

"She's all doped up on the docility script," he grumbled. "Of course she says she likes it. You could hit her in the head with a frying pan and she'd like it. This proves nothing."

Regina shook her head. "I don't think you understand, Ross. People like changing their appearance on a whim to see how it looks. You can grow a beard or buy different clothes or change your hairstyle, and if you don't like the result you just change it back. I think Madison is like that with her personality. Ross, dude, she was fucking begging me to alter her."

"Why?" Ross asked. "Why would she want that? I can change her anytime she wants!"

Regina smiled and walked over to Madison to rub her shoulders. Madison sighed contentedly and closed her eyes. "Because," Regina said, "you're her boyfriend. She needs friends, not just a partner. Maybe she just wanted to try some tweaks that don't end up with her getting plowed."

"Getting plowed sounds kinda nice, though..." Madison said dreamily. Her voice was lazy and slightly slurred. "Hey, did Ross say he was gonna hit me with a frying pan? If he hits me with a frying pan, I'll... shove a pencil up his dickhole," she said, then burst into laughter. "Man, I'm so violent now!"