The All Is Lost Moment

“Vanir?! Vanir?!” I was scrambling at the rocks, pulling what I could off the hole that he’d been buried under, “Come on! N-normally you’d be okay, right?!”

Nothing. No maniacal laughter or sickening grin. My earrings were as useless as I was… wait, their magic was always being filtered through Vanir before. If he’s dead, do they even still work? I hope so, because I have no idea how to get us out of here otherwise.

“Darkness!” I felt Megumin grab onto my hair and pull me back, just barely dodging a small boulder landing atop me, “This place is unstable enough as is! Stop pulling at the walls!”

I nodded, feeling guilty that I’d nearly made the situation worse.

Behind me, Kazuma was sitting cross legged and contemplating. He held one hand up, still being the only source of light in the room, while Aqua was trying to figure out Vanir’s secret wall to get us out of here.

“So… let’s recap.” said Kazuma, “I awake in my bed, surrounded by hot women, only to hear the Demon King Castle waltz right up to my doorstep. After bravely hiding behind Darkness, we are all teleported here. Though not everyone, just us naked four and Musume. Vanir tells us we’re the key to defeating the Demon King, then doesn’t use his future sight to see Musume is about to gank him. Leaving us with no food, water, and probably limited oxygen. Did I get all that right?”

Aqua gave a quick thumbs up, “Yeah, that’s about everything! Now shush, I need to concentrate and find that smelly demon’s secret bunker.”

“Actually, it’s only nearly everything,” I corrected, “We’re also running out of time to go and defeat the Demon King.”

We were underground, trapped in a cramped space while naked, yet the silence that followed my statement was the quietest they’d ever been.

“Huh? What’s with those looks on your faces?” I asked, seeing only guilt and awkward eyes refusing to look at me. I gave them a few more moments to respond, but only sweat poured out of them rather than words. “Guys. It’s the Demon King. We have to do something.”

Kazuma sighed, finally turning to look at me, “Darkness… it’s the Demon King.”

“Yes? What of it?”

“...”

I placed my hands on my hips angrily, “Are you all seriously so lazy you would let the Demon King take over?!”

“Vanir said the castle is going against the capitol right now, right?” Kazuma huffed back. Standing up from the ground to face me properly, “Adventurers, knights, that King that’s about twice the size of me… it sounds like they’d put up a better fight than us! I’ve been killed by goddamn kobolds; the weakest of the weak! We haven’t even gone out to fight a single fucking toad for ages!”

“Kazuma is basically just a glorified sex toy these days…” Megumin hummed in agreement.

“Exactly! So how do you expect the four of us to fight the literal final boss?”

I tutted, shaking my head at their lack of resolve, “Such defeatism. Our group has done so much, his generals fear us. Did you forget we even defeated Musume?”

“Yeah, with weird sex moves and dumb luck!” Kazuma shot back, getting further into my face as I stood firm, “We won’t do shit and you know it! Our mansion just got blown up, AGAIN! We’re stuck in a hole! And you’re all pregnant!” The slight teariness in his final words made his angry voice crack. We all sensed it, and knew the emotions he was feeling, to the point where he retreated almost immediately to sit back down in a ball. He sighed in defeat.

“You’re all pregnant… call me a trash, call me a coward, call me whatever the fuck you like, but I don’t want you all on the frontlines right now.”

I quickly went down to comfort him, rubbing his back while he tried to shrug me off, “Kazuma… I love that you’re worried about us. But you should remember that it’s normal-”

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve said that one before: ‘It’s normal that Kazuma’s babies are protected by the Gods, meaning they’ll always be born happy and healthy no matter what happens.’ I get it. But what happens if you’re fucking vaporised like Vanir just was, Darkness? Kid ain’t gonna be born healthy then.”

“Maybe…” I replied, exhaling my own worries as that telltale pit of worry formed in my stomach. I looked around at the other two, who seemed to be watching on with worried expressions, “Is this how you two feel as well?”

Megumin just shrugged, “I say we should be focusing on getting out of here first. My explosions aren’t gonna do shit to free us. After that? I guess we’ll see…”

Aqua seemed the most guilty, “I mean… if you guys wanna try, then I’ll follow… but it is pretty scary to go against something so strong. What do you think we should do, Darkness?”

All their eyes were on me.

I’ve never really considered myself a leader. Or a person very good at giving speeches in general. Crusaders are supposed to rally their comrades for a battle, yet I usually fumble it by talking about my sexual fantasies before any actual rallying occurs. But I could feel their expectations of me, and in this moment I wanted to at least try.

Though, counterintuitively, I turned away from them.

“You’ve all seen my back plenty of times. I’ve protected you from arrows, cabbages, monsters. Sometimes for… ulterior motives.” I coughed, trying to ignore the dirty thoughts like how much Kazuma had nutted on my back, “I-I’ve always had this dream of wanting this back to mean something. To symbolise… reliability, I suppose you could say. No matter what the world throws at us, if you saw this back, you’d know you were protected.”

I couldn’t really see their reactions, or if this impromptu speech was working on their cynical minds. So instead, I just picked up a rock and began to dig. Shifting rocks and pebbles to try and see any sign of a mask. “When we get out, I won’t turn around to see if you’re there. If all of you wish to run, I’ll consider my job complete. That you are all protected. But I hope you’ll respect that I can’t turn my back on the world either. That is the duty of a crusader.”

I didn’t hear anything bar the sound of my own digging. It was okay. Maybe I’d moan about being rejected and then fight on anyway. Hopefully they’d at least remember me fondly.

Then all three of them started digging too.

“Y-you guys…”

“Yeah, yeah. Your speech worked.” said Megumin, trying to brush off the moment. “Don’t get all sappy on us, Darkness.”

“We’re not going to let you fight the Demon King alone! Well, Kazuma might still try to run off.”

Kazuma growled back at Aqua, “Shut up. I have a harem in this world, you think I’m just going to sit back and let the final boss take that away?” His eyes caught my own, looking at me with pride and love. Emotions he was clearly struggling to deal with. “Get back to digging already, Lalatina.”

“Y-Yissir” I nodded, doing as I was told. I felt like I could push through this entire mountain if I needed to. Nothing was going to stop us getting free!

“No need! Moi is already here!”

Our emotional moment was torn asunder by the arrival of the one we were trying to save. Vanir landed from above us with poise and elegance like he hadn’t just gotten flattened by Musume, brushing himself off while we stared in shock.

“Wha-!? How?! Aren’t you-?!” I pointed under the rocks.

Vanir appeared to be enjoying our embarrassment and annoyance towards him, presenting his body like it was a marvel to behold. “Moi’s current svelte form is made of earth, lest you forget. After such a brutal outburst–that Moi could see was inevitable by the way–Moi’s body was able to crawl out from the destroyed rubble and reform on life numero three!” He pointed at his forehead. The II was now replaced with III.

I could tell from his smile he’d been fine for a while. “How long were you…?”

“Moi told you to rally the troops. This seemed like the best solution.”

“Great. He lives.” Aqua grumbled. “Get us out of here then! You’ve wasted enough of our time, you literal dirty demon!”

“Say please, you sperm-riddled ‘Goddess’.”

“Vanir!” I barked.

“Fine, fine! Moi has feasted enough, and time is of the essence.” He shrugged, having enough sense to ignore Aqua’s taunting to turn to the wall again. Pressing the last of the secret buttons to begin opening the passageway that had been locked. A beam of light forcing us all to blink rapidly to adjust. “Through here is your armor, weapons, magic items, and a way to teleport to the frontlines. Moi rescued them all from your exploding mansion.”

The moment we stepped through the newly opened passage, the oppressive weight of the cramped room gave way to the scent of clean air, leather, and faint ozone. A long stone hallway stretched ahead, lined with crates and racks of equipment. Each crate was labelled with names–‘Xara’, ‘Suu’, ‘The Toilet’–arranged for us. My armor gleamed at the far end, resting against a wall like it had been waiting for me personally.

“Chomusuke!” Megumin exclaimed, running towards a mattress where her cat was napping. “You saved her too?”

“Moi grabbed all he could with the spell. Humans care so much for their… living things.” said Vanir with both disdain and a shrug to his voice.

“Emperor Zell!” gasped Aqua, rushing over to grab her pet chick that had been sitting on her box, “I was so worried about you!”

Kazuma tilted his head, lifting up his tracksuit next to her, “Wait, that chicken is still alive? You haven’t talked about him in months.”

“Of course my dragon is alive! I have a life outside sucking your dick, Kazuma.” Aqua huffed.

“...do you? Do you, though?”

I hurried over to my own box, moving my feet without thinking as my hands brushed over the familiar plates. I wasted no time putting them back on, feeling like for a moment we might actually have a chance.

Also, in my box were all the magic items that Chris had left us with. Including some bonus potions I’d bought with the intention of modifying, but not yet figured out what to normalise them into. Anything that could help in this upcoming fight, I suppose.

As Megumin and Aqua took care of their pets, Kazuma approached his own. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I replied.

Kazuma scratched the back of his head, “Darkness… look, I just wanted to say sorry for freaking out down in the cave.”

“It’s okay.”

He didn’t seem to agree, “No… I'm like an infinity dad now... I should be taking charge more, or being braver, or at least not fucking it up for you and your moment…”

“Kazuma, it’s okay.” I reassured, placing my hand on his shoulder, “You helped me through my lowest moment when we fought Xara, you held firm against Sylvia’s legion of monsters, and I would never have braved Heaven alone without you believing in me enough to date me. We’ve both changed a lot since that quiet night in your bedroom.”

My lover glanced down at his feet before eventually letting out a soft chuckle accompanied by a small grin. “Yeah, I guess we have, huh? We may bring out the worst in each other…but maybe we bring out the best, too.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. I rewarded his words by bringing him in close for a passionate kiss, “I love you, Kazuma.” He returned my action with gusto, letting me pick him up briefly to truly seal our lips.

“I love you too. So, you better stay safe out there.” He said after getting dropped back down.

I turned, “Don’t you remember? Believe in my back, and soon you’ll be cumming all over it again.”

He laughed at that, “Ohh, you almost kept the coolness up the whole way through. Swing and a miss, Lalatina!”

“Oi! Moi doesn’t have all day!” Vanir barked, prompting us to gather the last of our items and walk over to him. In his hands he was tossing up and down the magic cock ring that I’d modified to teleport us to Heaven. “Moi is sending you straight to the frontlines.”

“How is it out there?”

“The large masochistic Goddess you so gracefully wrenched from her home has forcibly switched sides and is now empowering the monster forces.”

“Divane? She’s fighting for the Demon King?” Asked Kazuma, whining a little as he shook his head. “That lady sucks so much.”

“Agreed.” Nodded Aqua.

“Between the routine explosion cannon and the royal pain-slut, they’ve nearly finished breaking the King’s defences. Humanity is struggling to keep the gates of the town shut.” Explained Vanir, “If you all wish to participate in its destruction, you should leave soon.”

“You’re not coming?”

Vanir shook his head with a smirk, “Moi must keep his reputation! It would be troublesome if Moi was seen on the side of the humans that might all die today. Then Moi would have to spend eternity in hell as some ‘traitor’. You understand.”

“Great.” grumbled Megumin, “Does anyone actually have a plan here?”

“No, but when has that ever stopped us before?” I weakly grinned, “We should go.”

Kazuma looked around fingers stroking chin, “I might be able to cobble up some bullshit plan with all our stuff here. But I'm fine with getting moving first. Iris may be in trouble.”

“Stay close to Darkness’ back! I’ll be healing from there!” said Aqua.

Just as Vanir was about to toss the ring and send us hurtling through space, he paused. Stuck in his throwing pose for a few awkward seconds before lowering his arm with a sigh.

“Moi has one last thing to show you.”

The rear gate of the capital was a constant roar of motion. Shouts from guards directing lines, the creak of a parade of wagons heavy with children and belongings, the muffled sobs of citizens leaving their homes behind. Princess Iris stood at the center of it, her voice clear and commanding as she urged the citizens forward.

“Everyone, please hurry! Keep moving! Don’t stop for anything!” she called out, always looking around to see if anyone else needed her at that moment.

“Mommy, I’m scared!” Whimpered a small child, pulling away from her hand and the convoy in fear. “There’s a monster right there!”

His hand pointed to one of the women that had teleported onto the grass. Most of the monsters in Kazuma’s harem were doing their best to help, despite some reservations the citizens were having about them today. Esu, the slime girl, heard the child’s worry and quickly responded.

“Don’t worry! I’m a nice monster! I have a boyfriend and everything! See?”

Esu morphed her body to look like a superhero, then a dog, then a capybara, then animal after animal all the way until the laughing child got into the wagon.

“They’re circling the barrier!” a breathless soldier shouted as he stumbled up.

Before anyone could respond, the first group of monsters appeared. Skeletons on Lizard Runners, thundering around the corner with weapons primed, tightening their lack of muscles, bows at the ready to attack indiscriminately at the populace.

Iris didn’t hesitate.

As the first volley shot out from their bows, the princess was already between her people and the monsters. Her sword slashed rapidly with **** precision, making so many attacks the eye could barely keep track. The shower of broken arrows scattered worthlessly before her feet as she continued the attack on the charging monsters themselves. By the time she had killed the first lizard, Claire and Rain were by her side. Slicing and blasting magic alongside their princess, and within half of a minute the first set of monsters were just a pile of bones and bodies.

More roars echoed in the distance. The sound of charging armies beginning to emanate from everywhere.

“They’re pushing from all sides,” Rain said sharply, glancing at Iris with urgent eyes. “Lady Iris, please. We need to evacuate you now too.”

“I’m not leaving until the last of my people are through,” Iris replied, voice firm even as the sounds of battle grew closer. “Is there any sign of Kazuma or Musume yet?”

Claire’s hand was on her shoulder, protective and insistent. “No. But you must reconsider, Your Highness. The convoy is already long, and even with the harem we may not be able to protect them all if monsters start coming around.”

Iris bit at her lip, an old habit that Claire wanted her to stop, but now wasn’t the time for quibbles. Was her father truly going to be alright against this daunting foe? Would her home still be here tomorrow if she left now?

All these questions and more would not be answered as more monsters started encircling the rear gate. Letting her leap to action and swallow her worries, for now.

The air was thick with the stench of war.

Blood, smoke, magic trails, monster dust–it all clung to Cloud’s lungs and made every breath feel like it was laced with ****. Moments ago, he’d been fighting side by side with his allies (and that annoyingly arrogant Mitsurabashi), their voices shouting praise and battle cries over the clashing of steel and slashing of claws.

Now, he couldn’t see them at all. The tide of monsters had swelled until his world was nothing but their attacks flying at him. Gnashing maws, axes swinging down, fists the size of his entire torso. Yet he fought on.

He swung his buster sword in a wide arc, the blade cutting deep into the thick neck of a troll. The beast staggered but didn’t fall, a spray of dark ichor hitting his cheek as it let out a bellow that rattled his bones. He gritted his teeth, driving the sword forward again, this time through the thing’s chest, finally turning it into dust and sending his blade flying downwards. He wrenched his sword free from the ground just in time to block a bungalow-sized fist from caving in his skull.

Every monster was like this now–stronger, heavier, more relentless. Cuts that should have felled them only enraged them further. Somewhere beyond the wall of bodies, Cloud thought he could hear the screams of Barret and Tifa being dragged down, but it was impossible to tell how far or how close they were. He could feel the healing of Aerith becoming weaker, but could do nothing to get close to her. The press of enemies was too dense; even his footwork was reduced to shuffling inches at a time. Trying to move forwards but to no avail…

Another swing. Another guttural roar from something that should already be dead. His arms were starting to ache as bad as his balls now, but he didn’t dare stop.

“FOR LADY AQUA!!!” someone yelled, and Cloud’s gaze followed the sound just in time to see a familiar knight breaking through the tide. Mitsurugi was a blur of motion–boots slamming down on the heads of snarling ogres and hulking trolls, using their shoulders as stepping stones to launch himself forward ever closer. The monsters clawed and bit at him, but his focus was locked on a single figure beyond the battlefield: Divane.

Mitsurugi’s idea was clear: take down Divane and the monsters’ strength would be halved again. A worthy sacrifice to help swing the tide of battle. But even as he roared his intentions towards her, she didn’t flinch.

Mitsurugi closed in, his blade drawn high for the killing strike. Bringing his blade above his head with one final mighty leap.

And then, without lifting a finger, she stopped him.

The holy sword Gram simply… froze. No sound, no clash of steel. It just hung there, making Mitsurugi’s body swing back and forth on the spot as he tried to hold onto it.

An instant later, it was ripped from Mitsurugi’s grasp. Spinning around in place and sending him flying upwards. Without a second to react, Gram was sent flying across the far off treeline. A single spec of shining light was all that remained of the sword as Mitsurugi fell limply downwards.

If that wasn’t bad enough, as the knight neared the floor, Divane’s leg swung back before snapping forwards again. Her foot drove into his chest with bone-cracking ****. The impact hurled him backward like a child’s toy, sending him flying over the sea of monsters before smashing him into the castle wall hard enough to send cracks spidering across the stone.

Cloud’s grip on his sword tightened. Mitsurugi was a weirdo, but he didn’t deserve that. And he was supposed to be the kingdom’s finest…

“DAMMIT!” Mitsurugi roared, peeling himself out of the wall in frustrated rage. Some knights were trying to stop his beaten body from moving, but he pushed them away, “I can still fight! I am the hero!” Limping forwards, he jumped onto the nearest kobold and started strangling its fluffy neck. “Keep fighting for Lady Aqua! And someone go fetch Gram!”

Behind him, a steady voice boomed through the battlefield.“I admire your tenacity, Sir Mitsurugi!” Cloud turned to find the King, golden armor gleaming beneath the dark sky, having bested the monsters knocking on his gate with the assistance of another group of adventurers. There was no fear in Jeronim’s eyes–only a cold, unshakable resolve. “I fight for my daughter, Iris, the cutest damn thing in the whole wide world! Now let’s rip and tear!”

“YEAAHHH!!!”

A noble statement (one that had apparently been the King’s war cry every time he entered battle), but even Jeronim could only do so much.

Numbers were still not on their side. Despite the strength of the King, they were losing fighters at a rapid rate. The monsters had pushed humanity’s resistance to form a line outside the gate, but no progress was being made to stop the huge castle approaching their city. Cloud still fought on, but the flame of hope felt like a dwindling candle in a thunderstorm at this point.

If nothing changed soon, they’d surely fail, even with the King’s assistance…

“FATHER!”

But that could do it.

Jeronim looked around, somewhat expecting to see his daughter calling for him. But the call was far more skyward for Iris to appear.

The battlefield’s chaos shifted in an instant. From above, a white streak cut through the swirling snow and smoke–wings outstretched, catching what little moonlight pierced the clouds. Musume’s figure was unmistakable: long white hair streaming behind her, horns glinting like polished stone, claws flexed in fury, black magic covering her otherwise naked form. Her roar ripped the air apart, pausing the fighting for just a moment as she flew directly into the castle’s barrier.

It had been the first and only thing that had stopped the Destroyer’s slow crawling, Musume’s intense strength managing to hold back a building twenty times the size of her. Such was the power of her unlimited rage.

“WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!” She screamed, barely giving a second to respond before her throat erupted in pure flame.

The fire smashed against a shimmering barrier around the fortress, sending ripples across the magic shield but leaving it unbroken. She was unfocused yet unstoppable in her attacks. Slamming her fists on the barrier with the pure white flames to stress out the magic, each second the fire burning hotter, the roar more ragged.

Hope had never come in a stranger form. The humans weren’t going to look a giant gift horse in the mouth, and began to fight on with their new ally. Though some wondered if she even knew there was a battle occurring below her.

“ANSWER ME! FATHER!” Her voice cracked as it thundered across the field, each syllable torn between rage and grief. “After everything–after I nearly died for your crimes! The humans created a fake execution for your own daughter and you did FUCK ALL! And now you bring nothing but war?!”

The castle only quietly creaked in response.

“Was this your grand plan?! Was I such a failure of a daughter that I could not stand with you in your ‘triumph’?!” She wheeled in the air, scratching her claws against the barrier in futile blows. “I tried! Even without your guidance, I fucking tried to make peace! I’ve even found multiple human lovers! They don’t deserve this madness, but you-! You’re RUINING EVERYTHING!” More slams, more attacks, but only the sounds of war replied, “SHOW YOURSELF! PLEASE!!” Her voice broke entirely, dissolving into another scream of fire and frustration.

No answer came from the fortress. No flicker of movement in the spire’s high windows.

Even after everything, Musume just wanted to see her daddy alive. Her attacks were as angry as they were ****. But with each growing moment of the castle’s indifference, Musume’s anger only grew.

She flew to the top of the huge egg shaped dome and landed atop the barrier. Her feet dug in hard as she unleashed a pure torrent of flame directly downwards, drilling her way into her own home from above.

Yet it seemed to be working.

Each second that passed the magic of the barrier seemed to be suffering. Embers appeared on the other side, then more, a stream of fire that scorched the black brickwork, an opening wide enough that Musume could perhaps get her hands on each side to wrench it open herself…

But then, the fortress answered her call.

The railgun atop its highest tower whined to life, the air distorting with heat and magic as its barrel glowed like molten gold. An explosion at point blank range happened within seconds, too quick for the emotionally distressed Musume to react. She let out a sharp, guttural cry as the impact sent her tumbling down the barrier in a trail of fire and blood.

With a mighty crash, Musume landed hard behind the walking castle. A crater carved into the earth from just her impact alone, with steam rising from the scorched dirt where Musume’s singed body lay twisted.

“Why…?” She whispered weakly, coughing blood. The pain of betrayal feeling so much stronger than the explosion, having to watch as the silent castle began to move on without her once more, “Father… please…”

And then, a shadow fell over her.

The black mask covering Divane said nothing. Simply looming over Musume’s twitching form with cold indifference. There was no malice or emotion in Divane’s movement, yet she still began charging a fatal amount of holy light in her palm all the same.

“So this is how I go…?” Musume coughed again, too weak to rise, only able to claw at the dirt and throw it at her murderer. “Tell my father… I’ll see him in hell.”

The light in Divane’s hand reached a blinding crescendo. Even with all her defence, Musume knew she would never survive a blow like that, not in her current state at least.

She closed her eyes, ready for the end to finally claim her.

“Explosion!”

BOOOOM!

An ear-splitting detonation ripped across the field, the shockwave tossing monsters and dirt into the air. Divane was pushed back as pure magical destruction smashed into her face, engulfing her in crimson fire. The holy light in her hand shooting upwards, harmlessly shooting nothing but the clouds with its pure white beam.

“I’m the only one who can defeat you, Musume! Don’t make my title worthless!”

It was a tiny voice from far away, but her enhanced senses heard it all the same. And Musume couldn’t help but smile, “Hehe… very well, little one.”

“Where’d that magic come from?” Asked Jeronim, looking around the battlefield for the one who was strong enough to cast that.

“Up there!” called a knight.

Indeed, four figures stood atop the exterior castle wall for all to see.

–POV shift: Darkness–

We all stood tall on the side of the battlement. My boots were planted firmly, the wind of the explosion still whipping my hair against my cheek. From up here, the carnage stretched as far as I could see. Musume, Divane, waves of monsters slamming against our lines, the looming bulk of the Demon King’s fortress crawling ever closer.

“You guys ready?” asked Kazuma, still holding Megumin’s floppy form while peering over the edge of the four-story wall we stood atop.

With a determined nod, we all answered together.

“Ready, Kazuma!”

“Alright, Aqua and Megumin, drink your potions! Darkness: deploy!”

With a nod, I jumped off the battlement first. A rush of wind and adrenaline shooting into me as the ground began to rapidly approach us.

“Megumin! Clear out her landing spot!”

A quick spin of her staff and the wizard aimed downwards, shouting out an “EXPLOSION!” before letting loose her signature attack on the ground. Instantly heat and light burst from below me, scattering the demonic beasts in more ways than one.

I landed in the crater first. The updraft from the blast created just enough of a cushion to not hurt me, though my defensive knees were already up for the task. Next was the thing I jumped with–a queen sized mattress–which I caught on my neck and hands making me look like a strange pack mule.

Quickly followed by the three passengers.

“Whuff!” “Oof!” “Shit! You okay down there Darkness?!”

In my vision was the ever caring Kazuma, peering over the lip of the mattress to check on me. Their additional weight had barely affected me, I’m just glad they landed properly (Aqua’s legs scrambling to get up aside). With a smirk, I cracked my neck, flexing myself for his enjoyment. “Never better.”

“Hell yeah you are!” Kazuma cheered, raising his head back up, “That means our propulsion systems are online! Aqua, get our defence up!”

“Aye-aye!” She agreed, saluting while kneeling next to him on the bed. Getting up dramatically, letting her pink raiment flow majestically around her shoulders, Aqua’s hands began glowing brightly, two barriers appeared in front of us with light blue magatama designs decorating them. Just in time to stop a barrage of rampaging beasts completely in their tracks. “HAHA! The potion worked! I can use my barriers anywhere, Kazuma!”

“Nice!” He said before turning to Megumin, “That means we got one thing left. You ready?”

The wizard stretched her panties and placed them onto Kazuma’s head. “Fuck. Yes.”

“RIGHT!!” Kazuma roared, just loud enough over the oncoming charge of our enemies. “You guys know the plan! We charge that stupid castle! We go kick the shit out of the Demon King! And above all else…!”

He finalised his plan by uncovering the ultimate weapon we owned: his massive cock. Megumin licked her lips hungrily at it before lying down flat on the bed and bringing her trousers down low enough for her eager slit to be uncovered. Kazuma then lined himself up properly, staring down the wall of monsters. “Above all else we keep Megumin climaxing so we can explode this entire damn battlefield to smithereens! Got it?!”

“YEAH!” We all cheered.

“THEN LET’S… FUCKING… GOOOOOO!”