To the Viridian Gym!

The second you step out of the Pokemon Center, you’re faced with the destination you spent all of yesterday trying to reach: Viridian City! But wait, is that…? Your heart is filled with warmth and happiness. Could this really be what it looks like? Yes, it must be. There’s no denying it. That’s the Viridian Gym. It’s just sitting there, in plain view from the Pokemon Center. This building placement… it makes… complete and total sense! Urban Planners, truly the unsung heroes of civilization! With a spring in your step, you take off towards the Gym, and towards your next badge!

The area in front of the Gym has a big, fancy fountain and some silver pillars lining the path to the entrance. Woooow… It’s so regal! You’re seriously jealous… As you get closer, you notice two guards standing in front of the door. And by ‘guards’, you mean the kind wearing metal armor and wielding spears.

“Halt! No one is permitted to enter the Viridian Gym while the Lady is away!” The guards point their spears at you threateningly.

With hands raised, you respond, “O-Okay, I have a question.”

“What is thy question?”

“Why are you pointing your spears at me? You can’t just stab someone with a spear in the middle of a city! Isn’t this a little excessive?”

“Excellent question. And the answer thou shalt receive is… they’re foam.” Both guards push their hands against the ends of their so-called spears, sustaining no injury whatsoever. “It’s all just for aesthetics.”

“Geez, don’t scare me like that! Anyway, why can’t I go into the Gym?”

“It’s under renovations. The new Gym Leader insisted on having the place redecorated. It probably won’t be finished for a few more days, maybe even a week. She’ll be away until then.”

“Oh, I see. Thank you for your help,” you answer calmly before turning around and walking away.

“She was a nice girl,” one guard says. “Nice to look at, too.”

“Yeah, I hope she comes back once we’re open,” the other replies.

Once you get closer to the street, but definitely not out of earshot from the guards, you take out your phone and call Professor Stump.

“Hello?”

“WHY DON’T GYM LEADERS EVER WORK!?” you screech.

“W-What’s this now?” Stump asks, uncharacteristically surprised by your outburst.

“Half the Gym Leaders I try to challenge aren’t even there when I show up! Misty, Sabrina, and now the Viridian Gym Leader were all absent when I got there! Surge finds the time to travel to Pewter City for a grudge match with Brooke, and apparently Erika can just wander the forest whenever she wants! And they all leave their Gym unattended! They should be required by law to work every day!”

“Well, putting aside the catastrophic effects of you being in charge of any laws, Viridian is the most convenient city for you to skip. You’ll have to come back in order to get to the Pokemon League anyway, so you may as well continue to Cinnabar Island for now. You can get your badge on your return visit, then head straight to Victory Road.”

“Oh. Uhh… I’m still mad!” you add.

“Yeah yeah, you can be mad. Just go to the port south of Pallet Town. There should be a ship to get you to Cinnabar for cheap. It’s a pretty nice ride, if I remember correctly. Be sure to enjoy your trip to a tropical island while you can. Once you become a working adult, you’ll have someone telling you how many days a year you can spend doing things you enjoy, so don’t spite the Gym Leaders what little vacation time they have.”

“Ugh, fine. I’ll go to Cinnabar Island. But I’m still mad!”

Stump sighs, and then hangs up.