He takes the bed with Sarah, I get the couch.

Before Wiley could grunt out whatever he had in mind for his first dumb request, Sarah stretched and let out a yawn. It was contagious and I followed after, the day had been pretty draining after all and fighting the urge to **** your girlfriend's disgusting friend was exhausting. Unfortunately I saw Wiley's eyes light up for a brief second as an idea must have flashed through his head.

"Well this couch seems kinda cheap and uncomfortable, especially for someone like me," Wiley said, standing up.

"You mean a fat-", I started, but it was immediately covered up by Wiley speaking over me. Which was probably for the best to stop Sarah from getting pissed at me again.

"So I think my first act being in control around here is to say that I'll take the bed with Sarah, Liam you can have the couch."

I looked at him for a brief second, waiting for him to say he was kidding. Crack a gross smile and say it was a joke, preparing myself to **** a fake laugh. My gaze drifted over to Sarah who seemed completely relaxed, not an ounce of reaction or hesitance written on her face.

None of this was a joke.

"The hell you will, you think I'm gonna let you sleep in the same bed as her!?" I said, and Wiley recoiled a tiny bit at my outburst. Sarah placed a hand on my shoulder, stepping slightly closer to Wiley and keeping us apart.

"Liam what's the big deal, me and Wiley would sleep in the same bed some of the time when we were kids," Sarah said, acting as if it was all completely normal. Her attention returned back to Wiley as she perked up slightly.

"Oh god Wiley, you were so scared all the time, it was hilarious! Always having to crawl in next to me after one of those weird nightmares you'd have, do you remember? Like that one where you said I grew to like twenty feet tall and was smashing everything! Or that one where your dad had four arms and was chasing us around saying he was gonna eat us!" Sarah said, laughing as the two of them immediately got lost in reminiscing and I seemed to fade from existence.

As I stared off, not listening to the two of them going over old times, I tried to ignore the repeated 'remove Wiley's head from his body' instructions at the back of my mind. Deep breath in. Long sigh out.

"Yeah fine, whatever," I said, worn down at this point. Sarah wouldn't ever see this as being something wrong or weird, so no matter what I would look like the bad guy if I kept arguing about it. It was gonna happen no matter what I did, short of listening to that voice in my head and me ending up both dumped and in jail for beheading this dirty troll of a man. Plus at least now I didn't have to deal with Wiley, the putrid fucker would be out of my hair for the night which was a welcome relief. I only had to deal with the unfortunate knowledge that he was in bed with my girlfriend.

Sarah gave a little delighted hop up and down as I agreed, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

"Thank you Liam, you're the best! And see, isn't it nice when you two aren't fighting all the time?" she said, and I glared over at Wiley for a second, still debating that **** plan.

"Yeah, it's great, I love it so much," I said sarcastically, and Sarah told me good night and that she loved me, then headed off to share our bed with someone else.

"Getting to make the rules and be the man of the house is pretty great, I could get used to this," Wiley said, heading off after Sarah and with his eyes fixed on her ass. Fists clenched I stood and shook with rage as they each went about getting ready for bed, the bedroom door closing as I tried to distract myself with getting the couch ready for what would certainly be a bad night. It took longer with me constantly looking over towards the bedroom, wondering what they were doing.

As I settled onto the couch and tried to forget what was happening, it was interrupted by noise from the bedroom. More giggling. More laughing. More of that thorn in my fucking side making my life worse. Decent sleep wasn't likely to happen, which is when I remembered that I still had some sleeping meds in the bathroom. I headed off to grab them, briefly stopping to look at the bedroom door and shaking my head.

"Fucking Wiley," I muttered to myself, shuffling back to the couch. I downed three of the little pink pills when I got there, more than I'd normally take but this was gonna be a rough night no matter what, and this was my only real hope at sleeping through most of it. After some more tossing around of pillows and blankets on the couch I turned on the tv to try and distract myself until the pills kicked in, and thankfully felt myself drifting off.

(Feedback, suggestions, and ideas for where to take the story next are always welcome, feel free to comment or message with anything you'd like to see focused on or done next or anything like that.)