Chapter 133
by
Tabbycat
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Happy meal
Dustin’s fingers twitched as he lent up against the serving counter in the main galley of the ship. From where he stood, he could see Naera scurrying around, her silver hair tied up into a neat net behind her head as she worked to handle a half dozen different pots and pans. The instinct to step in and help the woman out was very strong, but he resisted - he’d implied that she was being tested, and he wanted to see how she did. He also wanted to see if she was smart enough to ask for help if she was struggling or if she’d try and do everything by herself, hence his lurking nearby.
The galley was largely unoccupied at this time of the evening; the senior staff were all gathered on one table not too far from the kitchens, there were a handful of the security team eating near one of the automats - and throwing worried glances in Yril’k’s direction from time to time just in case the warrior bug might have any criticisms for how they were spending their downtime. There were also a few of the medical staff dotted around - the less social members of the team Dustin reckoned, given that they were all sitting in ones or twos at the most.
A bang from the kitchen made him jump, and he half went to move towards the door when it happened again and he saw the cause. Naera was rattling a massive pan back and forward on one of the burners, sending a cascade of colour up in the air and back down with each controlled flick of her arm. She’d been rather reticent with what the menu for the night would be, only saying that it was an adjusted version of something she cooked regularly to take into account available ingredients and viable diets. Relaxing back into his waiting position, Dustin mused on whether he was doing the right thing by giving the short-stack a chance like this. Sighing, he shook his head. There was time for those thoughts if she was still so vehement in her desires once they got back to Sol space; he was pretty sure Axworth would insist she went through major counselling before letting her near one of his new ships in any case even if Dustin turned her down.
As he reached that conclusion, a voice called from the kitchen. “If you’re going to stand there human, a hand getting all these pans over to the counter would be nice. No snacking until it’s all plated though.” Stepping through the doorway he was hit by a wall of smells. The counter in the galley had been fitted with some kind of aerosol dampening system or other - designed to stop the smells of the kitchen seeping into the galley when cooking for a range of species who had very different ideas of what nice cooking smelled like. On the inside of the kitchen however? He inhaled deeply, soaking in the mix of spices and that sweetness that caramelization gives to the air around frying.
“Don’t just stand there, this stuff’s too good to let get cold.” A serving spoon was waved vaguely in the direction of his head, the Caenii woman balancing a stack of bowls on her other arm. Dustin did as he was told, hefting the half-dozen or so pots and pans from the galley’s ranges over to the serving counter at Naera’s direction. Once there, he found the others already lined up to try the green-skinned chef’s cuisine. “Today we’ve got spiced fried vegetables, and two types of meat cooked in a **** and herb sauce. There’s also dessert chilling in one of the coolers for afterwards. For sides, there’s these things…” and here Naera held out a spoon containing what Dustin vaguely recognised as Orzo.
“Couldn’t find any Aeethmic in the stores, but this seems similar enough. Doesn’t quite soak up sauce as well so I’ve had to make the sauces slightly thicker than normal” the woman continued, adding “alternatively, we have a crushed root mix - some kind of Earth tuber called a ‘potay toe’, blended with Velcan Yams. It’s pretty tasty.” She concluded, gesturing to the mash. Clearly, Velcan yams gave it the colour - Dustin had seen a range of things mixed with potatoes before, but he’d never seen the resultant mash be purple.
The crew helped themselves to large servings of the chef’s offerings - Dustin suspected that for Meli and possibly Rye they shared his own thoughts that anything not automat prepared was worth risking. Setting his plate down next to his fiancé, Dustin took an experimental bite of the mash. “Huh. Kind of like sweet potatoes got mixed in, but with a hint of something else? Oregano maybe?” Meli swallowed, having been devouring the mash herself and shook her head. “No, no herbs, that's just Velcan Yam. My mother used to make a mash with them when I was a child, it’s one of the reasons I like human pizza flavouring as much as I do.”
At the end of the table, Naera stood - clearly trying to put on an air of confidence but also clearly very nervous. Dustin took a few more bites of the deliciously flavoured chicken in wine sauce (at least, that’s what it tasted like) and nodded to her. “You don’t have a plate yourself, Naera. Join us please.” General murmurs of agreement surfaced from the rest of the crew, and the woman scurried off to get herself a serving before slipping into a seat next to Trea’k at the very end of the table. “Of course, you all like it then?” she said, taking a bite and nodding “I could do better. Didn’t have much time to look through all the supplies and figure out what weird stuff tastes like what; the AI helped me find some substitutes but still…”
There seemed to be a little bit of hurt pride there at having to rely on the computer to identify flavour matches, so Dustin gave what he hoped was a encouraging smile. “Well, it’s basically two weeks to Rakhsport, I’m sure you’ll be comfortable with the ingredients by the time we arrive.” Naera nodded. “Should be better set up by tomorrow evening. Got a handle on the kitchen now so can start cooking for a larger number of people - though I’d probably need some assistants if you want me to feed the whole crew at the same time. Easier if we stagger meals of course, though then I’ll need to do a bit more planning to make sure stuff is hot or cold at the right points and so on.”
Dustin gave the matter some thought and then shook his head. “Lets just stick to cooking for us for the time being, until you get the hang of the ingredients and stuff properly - and you’ve had a chance to aid in the resupply at Rakhsport. It’s got to be easier cooking for this small number of species than for the multitude of dietary requirements we’ve got on the whole crew.” Naera nodded as her mouth was full, before swallowing hard. “Right you are captain. I can call you captain, right?” Rye gave a chuckle at that, and Dustin flashed her a warning glance before he nodded. “If we get to eat food this good, you’re officially the ships chef for the rest of the travel to Earth. We’ll review the situation then, along with medical and mental health reports from Bleu and Trea’k.”
The two women inclined their heads towards their new crewmate, before idle conversation swept the table. Even as he chatted about ongoing maintenance work with Rye, Dustin kept half an eye on the Caenii. Naera was quieter than her brash nature previously would have indicated - thought he wondered if that was just that she was surrounded by people she didn’t know much about. Certainly, she seemed animated enough when Trea’k and Emely drew her into a conversation, or when Meli asked a question about the dessert she’d made (some kind of cake filled with frozen sorbet and cream that was cold, sweet and tart in equal measure). Finally, the dinner began to wind down and Yril’k asked a question.
“What was that?” Dustin asked; he’d been focusing on not reacting too much to the fact that Meli’s hand was gently squeezing his thigh while Rye’s feet danced with his beneath the table; he was pretty sure the two women were staking a claim on his after-dinner time, but he didn’t particularly want things to start in the main galley where anyone could see. “I asked where we will be having’k the morning briefing’k. And if our new colleague will be joining us’k.” Yril’k repeated. Dustin was about to reply but Meli got there first. “Let’s not stress the new chef out, we’ll have automat meals in the ready room like normal. Besides, I have a matter I wish to discuss with the senior staff.”
Naera nodded at that “right, so I’ll see you…” before Meli cut her off. “At breakfast, Naera. After so long without good food, I suspect Dustin ranks head chef quite highly. Right, li’ah’a?” Dustin nodded in agreement, and the Velca continued ”So, breakfast with the other senior crew then. Yril’k, would you make sure she gets there at an appropriate time?” The insect warrior nodded, glancing knowingly at Dustin before she replied “I will ensure she arrives’k at a time that is not too early’k so that you are properly’k… attired.” The Caenii woman glanced from Yril’k to Meli, and then to Dustin. “Oh…” then she looked at the grin on Rye’s face and the demure smile on Trea’k’s. “Ooooh… right.”
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Ambassador
Humanity fuck yea
Twenty years after first contact with aliens, humanity is finally ready to take it’s first steps out of the solar system. After winning the lottery to determine who should be Earth’s ambassador to the stars, Dustin Smith finds that for the galaxy at large the “building relationships” part of being an ambassador is rather more literal than he’d expected. Now he’s handling interspecies politics, managing a growing harem of alien women and working to get humanity it’s seat at the galactic table. But there’s more in space than just the peace the galactic council has governed over for an eternity, and it’s only a matter of time before Dustin and his crew get pulled into dealing with what lurks in the darkness.
Updated on Jun 12, 2026
by Tabbycat
Created on Mar 3, 2025
by Tabbycat
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