Free Bird

We hastily walked away from Minthara's chamber, tension clinging to us like spider silk. The moment the hallway gave us distance, Karlach broke the silence.

"Okay. That was terrifying."

"She’s a zealot," Shadowheart added with disdain.

I raised an eyebrow. The irony practically hummed in the air. Shar’s little disciple calling someone else a zealot? But I wisely kept my mouth shut.

"She’s focused," Lae’zel said with cool confidence. "I admire that. Her command. Her discipline."

Of course she did. I, on the other hand, thought she'd make an excellent addition to my collection—but maybe not right this moment.

As we re-entered the main hall, Priestess Gut was still mid-ritual, chanting over a twitching goblin on the floor. Karlach rolled her eyes. Shadowheart grimaced at the crude imitation of worship. Lae'zel studied one of the stone pillars.

Then I heard it. A familiar, nasally lament drifting in from a side corridor—melodramatic and tragic.

"Stay here," I muttered. "I need to... check something."

Shadowheart gave me a skeptical look. Karlach shrugged. Lae'zel didn’t even blink.

I followed the sound toward the **** chambers. In a small, foul-smelling cell stood a large cage crafted entirely from thick bones and yellowed tusks—like someone had built a birdcage while drunk and proud of it.

Inside was Volo. Looking miserable.

Outside the cage stood a female goblin, smirking—the same one who had dragged him off the stage.

She squinted at me. "Whadda ya want? Get your own birdie."

I offered my best smile. "That’s a mighty fine bird you’ve got."

She beamed, pleased. "Ain’t he pretty? Sings like a kicked squirrel too."

"I was wondering," I said smoothly, "if you’d be open to a trade."

"Not unless you got a talking owlbear with ale in her teats. And even then—maybe not."

I tried again. "There must be something that you would want instead?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Sounds like you want my bird. You trying to steal my bird?"

She reached for a rusted blade. "I’ll call the guards. I’ll gut ya meself."

I sighed. "Fine..."

And activated my Charm spell.

Her expression shifted in an instant. She blinked rapidly, then gave a slow, dreamy smile that revealed three remaining teeth. "You... have nice eyebrows."

"Thank you," I said smoothly.

She giggled.

"If you really want to impress me," I said, lowering my voice again, "you could lend me your key to the birdhouse. Just for a moment."

Her grin widened. "Anything for you. Handsome as a troll in heat, you is."

She handed over the key, then lunged at me, trying to climb me like a tree.

"Meet me in the **** cellar in a minute" I said quickly, stepping back.

"Kinky," she whispered, and scampered off, hips swaying like she’d just won a prize.

I turned to Volo.

"Not. A. Word."

"Wouldn’t dream of it," he said, eyes huge. "Your secrets are safe with me."

Oh yeah. Trusting a bard with saucy secrets—what could go wrong.

"I don't know who you are, stranger," he continued, brushing off his tunic, "but I’m Volothamp Geddarm, Procurer of Associates, Stories, and Curios. Or Volo for short. Now open this cage and set me free."

I inserted the key and turned it with a click.

"Actually," I said, "we know each other. I’ve been your student. Ceremorphosis research. Remember?"

His face twisted, then lit up in that too-wide bard grin.

"Ah yes! Of course! You! My dear pupil! Not quite as brilliant as me, but almost. Almost."

"Perfect," I said. "And if anyone asks...?"

"You were the best of them all," he declared dramatically. "Sharp. Observant. Dangerous in the field."

"Tav, by the way."

"Yes, yes. Tav. Got it. Take care now!"

He pulled a magic scroll from his pocket and vanished in a poof. The sound of his footsteps echoed away at full sprint.

I exhaled. "Great. One loose end less to worry about. Hopefully"

I peeked out and found the girls just where I’d left them. Karlach looking bored. Shadowheart wore a face of cultured disdain. Lae’zel, still examining a stone pillar with odd interest.

I rejoined them. "Ready for the next step?" I asked.

"Hells yeah!"

"Finally..."

"Yes."

They said, almost in unison.