Pick Hana

“I saw the way you were looking at me, Ms. Zeta,” you say, pointing at Hana. “You’re not getting out of this easy.”

“Let’s dance, Alex. I’m going to make you regret picking me,” Hana smirks.

“Whoa-hoh-hoh, it is getting hot in here,” dress shirt guy says, fanning himself. “This last game is called ‘Sex is Like…’. Before we get going, I need a topic from the crowd. Shout out a noun, anything that comes to mind!” There’s a brief pause, and then a bunch of people call out a jumble of words. “Did I hear motorcycle? Now that should be a fun one. Here’s how it’ll work. Alex and Hana, you’ll have three minutes between the two of you to win over the audience. On your turn, you’ll need to come up with a quick quip to complete the sentence ‘Sex is like a motorcycle…’ The more risqué the better! Once time’s up, the audience will vote and we’ll see who’s the wittiest of ‘em all!”

There’s a round of applause and cheering, to which dress shirt guy smiles and bows.

“Now, without further ado… Hana, ladies first,” he says, pointing at the dark haired sorority sister.

Hana steps up, smiling at the crowd.

"Sex is like a motorcycle,” she says, “guys love riding fast and hard.”

She guns an imaginary engine, drawing a bunch of yelps from the crowd. Dress shirt guy nods appreciatively: “That’s a sizzler to kick things off. Alex, show us what you got.”

With the attention suddenly cast on you, you scramble for a line, when one suddenly strikes you.

“Sex is like a motorcycle,” you say. “Nobody wants to be the third wheel.”

There’s laughter and applause. Dress shirt guy chuckles and says: “No love for the tricycle, huh? Hana, take it away.”

Her reply comes quickly, building off yours: “Sex is like a motorcycle… you don’t want to be at the end of the exhaust pipe, either.”

“Oof, now that’s an image I didn’t need,” dress shirt guy says. “Alex, are you going dirty too?”

“You know it,” you grin. “Sex is like a motorcycle… you want to get some good piston action going,” you say, bucking your hips.

The crowd roars in approval, but Hana seems unfazed, locking eyes with you.

“What have you got, Hana?” dress shirt guy asks, but she’s already ready to pounce.

“You seem to be staring an awful lot, Alex,” Hana smiles at you. “But sex is like a motorcycle… don’t spend too much time watching the scenery, or you’ll crash and burn.”

“Damn girl!” somebody in the audience calls out, and dress shirt guy laughs, glancing at you. “Alex?”

“Sex is like a motorcycle... when the riding gets rough, that calls for strong handling," you say. “I’m here to throttle the competition.”

You wink at Hana, flexing your muscles, and that gets some appreciative ooohs and Ohhhhs! from the crowd.

“Love these flirty burns, keep ‘em coming,” dress shirt guy laughs. “Hana, you just going to take that?”

Hana smirks, as if to say of course.

“Sex is like a motorcycle,” she says. “It’s a snug fit for two, so I get why you do it alone.”

The crowd’s real amped up now, hooting and hollering, and dress shirt guy applauds, looking at you questioningly. Not to be outdone, you pause, preparing your next line.

"Sex is like a motorcycle. She might be hot now, but once you’ve seen all the guys in town riding her? You’ll want to trade up for a new model.”

You dust your hands off and the crowd jumps to their feet, whooping and cheering, just as the timer for three minutes goes off.

“Now that was a feisty duel we just saw,” dress shirt guy says, nodding appreciatively. “Good work, you two. Sadly, there can only be one winner for the night. We’re going to do a vote by voice. Everyone, cheer if you liked Hana more!”

The response is loud and clear, wolf-whistles and shouts of approval sounding across the audience. But when dress shirt guy next calls “Cheer if you liked Alex more!”, the response is overwhelming. It feels like the entire bar is roaring your name, and you drink in the applause and approval.

“Folks, looks we’ve got a winner,” dress shirt guy says. He holds up your arm. “Give it up for… Alex!”

Hana +20