Gotta Tell Mel and Dan

“She knows about The Game,” I said.

Dan had joined Melissa and they were both on speaker. I could imagine them sitting in their living room, side-by-side. Part of me felt like I should have just driven over there to have this conversation, but the other part of me knew being face-to-face would make this a lot harder.

Now, the way I opened the conversation seemed innocuous, but my intonation was everything. The Game. Capital T. Capital G. Our group of friends had called it that for twenty-three years. It was a way of talking about the sexual encounters we had with each other during the course of our D&D games specifically. We could talk about ‘the game’ all day and know we were talking about the combat, or the storyline, or who was bringing the snacks. But ‘The Game’ was a different matter.

“Fuck,” Dan said.

Melissa was silent.

“She just told me before she left,” I said. “She’s apparently known for a couple of years. Caught us the night of the Masquerade Orgy.”

“The one with Count Whats-his-face?” Dan asked.

“Count Fiorenzi,” Melissa corrected him, somehow still keeping her head on straight and correcting her husband about proper names and places like always.

“That’s the one,” I said. “She says she hasn’t told anyone, and I believe her.”

“God, this is going to be awkward,” Dan groaned. “We can’t just… ignore this, right? Like, pretend everything is normal and we’ll just… get on with our lives?”

“She told him for a reason, Dan,” Melissa said. “She told you for a reason, right Shane?”

I swallowed and nodded, then remembered they couldn’t see me. “Yeah,” I croaked out.

“God damn it,” Melissa said.

“What?” Dan asked.

“She’s trying to replicate the situation,” Melissa guessed. She always was quick to catch on to any mysteries or plots I put in front of the party. “She wants to have a Game like ours, not just a game.”

“Oh,” Dan said. “Well, that’s not- I mean, she’s twenty. Same age as we were when we started things, right? And you had the whole talk with her about birth control and stuff.”

I was not surprised that Dan had left that talk to his wife to have. He was one of my best friends, but the reason he and Mel got along so well was that he was laid back and happy to put his nose to the grindstone and provide for his family while she took charge of pretty much everything to do with the home and family dynamic.

“I don’t think we could stop her if we tried,” Melissa said. “And we’d be gigantic hypocrites if we tried to punish her or something. Even if it is a bad idea.”

“We haven’t even hit the big one yet,” I said.

There was a moment of silence on the phone.

“Oh, fucking come on,” Melissa said. “Really?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Wait, what else?” Dan asked.

“She wants her Game to be the one Shane is running for her, not just tips to run it herself or something,” Melissa groaned.

“Jesus Christ,” Dan said heavily. And then he snorted.

“What’s so funny?” Melissa asked.

“I- Nothing,” Dan said.

“I’m missing the punchline here too, buddy,” I said.

“OK. I just - it was a momentary, errant thought - but I thought ‘Like mother, like daughter,’” Dan admitted.

“Dan!” Melissa scoffed, and I could hear her slapping his arm.

“What?” he asked. “You have to admit, babe, you were the one to start things off way back then. The first one to flash some skin, the first one to make us all get naked when we got into the city baths. The first one to give a celebratory blowjob - still one of the best I’ve ever gotten.”

“Well, I wasn’t the first one to actually have sex,” Melissa said, her argument a little weak. That had been Jack and Veronica, but they’d already been in a relationship and been fucking for a couple of years prior to The Game.

“Either way, she put it out there to me, blunt as can be,” I said.

“What are the boys like?” Melissa asked. “Trustworthy? Is she interested in a specific one?”

I sighed heavily. “The guys bailed on the girls,” I said. “One got dragged back to his home state or something by his parents, and two of them didn’t want to dress up in character like the girls. So it was just me, Rhia, and her two friends.”

There was another long moment of silence, and then they both spoke at once.

“She wants to do it with just you and two other girls?” Melissa asked.

“You saw that Tori girl in costume?” Dan asked. Then corrected himself, “Wait, Mel is right - just you and the three of them?”

“It sounded like Rhia had been hoping the boys would be down, and the experience would bind them tighter, so her original plan wasn’t just with four people. She was… pretty blunt, like I said. She said both Tori and Elyse are bisexual, and that she’d be interested in sex with me in the Game. I gave her some reasons why it was a bad idea, and I probably could have given more now that I think about it, but I was a little stunned.”

Melissa sighed heavily. “Where did you leave it?” she asked.

“I told her I had to tell you guys all of this,” I said. “And she knew that was coming. She wasn’t trying to hide it or anything. Then she asked, if you guys said yes, would I be willing to move the game in that direction. I told her I couldn’t see you guys saying yes - I mean, it’s Rhia. And me. But she pressed and gave me that puppy dog look she does, and I mean, Tori and Elyse are very pretty and looked hot in their character costumes, so…”

“So you put it on us,” Melissa said flatly. “Instead of being the big meany yourself.”

“Hey,” I said. “I’ve always been the FunUnUncle. She’s your kid.” ‘FunUnUncle’ had been my official title for Rhia when she was younger, and then later for Jack and Veronica’s three kids, and stood for ‘Fun Unrelated Uncle.’ I was officially Aaron and Rachel’s son Archer’s Godfather, so I’d gotten an upgrade there.

“Great,” Melissa sighed. “You’ve given her an inch, now we have to fight her for the mile.”

“Hey,” I said. “You were the one who asked me to do this game for her and her friends.”

“He isn’t wrong, babe,” Dan said. “You didn’t see this coming?”

“No, I didn’t see this coming!” Melissa said. “Seriously, Dan?”

“You’ve been able to read her mind since she was six,” Dan said. “She’s literally complained to me that she can’t ever get away with anything because you know what she’s going to do before she does it.”

“That’s because she’s just a mini-me,” Melissa sighed. “But I never had parents who had The Game. I definitely fucking missed this one.”

“So what do you want to do?” I asked.

“Let us talk about it,” Dan said. “And it sounds like we’ve got a really fucking awkward family conversation to have.”

“Want to come DM it, Shane?” Melissa asked, managing to crack a joke.

“Not a fucking chance,” I said. “Look. I wish you amazing rolls on insight and diplomacy, OK? And you know I’ll back you one hundred per cent. If you want this game squashed, you tell me and I’ll come up with a reason. If you’re OK with it going, but it’s just a normal game, she already promised me she’d never bring it up again and I’ll try to forget this ever happened.”

“And if we give the green light?” Melissa asked.

I swallowed the spit in my mouth. “Is that really even on the table?”

“We’ll let you know how it goes and what we decide, Shane,” Dan said. “Thanks for telling us right away.”

“Of course,” I said. “And… I’m sorry, you guys. I didn’t see it coming either.”

“OK, we’ll chat,” Melissa said, sounding tired. “I guess it’s a good thing this is an off-week for our game. Wouldn’t this be a great conversation to have with everyone?”

“Bye, guys,” I said.

They signed off as well and we hung up. I set my phone down and shook my head.

Everything had been going great with the new game, even with the bailing players, and then Rhia went and pulled this.

And I knew, despite my best efforts, it was going to be hard not thinking of Elyse or Tori when I was alone at night trying to get to sleep. Or Rhia.

“Shit,” I sighed.

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